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Advice on Divorce


New Landy new life

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My journey took a different path, although I didn't realise it at the time. I was emotionally disengaged for the last year of my marriage, feeling quite alone. Not a great place to be when you're changing jobs, houses, and countries in a short space of time. But in retrospect this gave me the opportunity to move on emotionally, despite living under the same roof.

 

I met someone quite soon after we officially separated, and was very concerned that it was a rebound relationship for me. I've been completely honest with my partner about this, but she understands the back story of my marriage and it never felt like a rebound at all. I also unpacked a LOT with my psychologist, which has helped me immensely and helped make the right decisions and learning to trust my gut instincts. Something which I ignored for many years in my marriage.

 

4 months later, I feel like I'm in a really healthy relationship and I'm happy for the first time in a long while. Will see where it takes me.

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Amazing how the right person understands that you need some space to heal. I was scared of putting someone in the hole where husband was instead of letting that space heal first. It would also not have been fair to that other person. So eventhough I also found someone soon I kept him at arms length and let things be casual for a long time. And that is why I also kept my own place. I think he may be the right one because he understands my independence freakoutmeter. Like when I tell him I need to go clean my house but I actually want to just watch crap on my laptop and eat a whole milk tart to myself.

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I must agree there its a very personal thing to say how long.

Due to my situation any comment I make would be very much from a different perspective.

Getting out and being social is a good thing!

Sorry i never got to have that ride end of the month feb, Mom was in hospital and went to help her out over weekend.

Anyone interested in a ride on the weekend of the 14th? I am vastly unfit so it's gonna either be a slow long ride (ill pack snacks) or ill need a shorter bail route ;)

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that sounds like a plan! gooi the deets, im in!

 

Come and watch the Epic on Table Mountain? A bunch of us going.

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Cool beans. We cycled from Brackenfell to the Tree last year and watched from there as they slog it up that climb. Either way, im in.

 

Will do so closer to the time. But we ride from home then meet at a point. Have found a really fun place to watch is near the end through the single track by the small wooden bridge. The riders have enjoyed our support from there the last few years. Will post next week.

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If I can get off work I will also love to join you guys and gall's.

 

Have a project that I have been busy with for 3 months, 7 days a week so hard to make free time.

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My advice would be not to load any initial relationship/date/friendship.

 

Don’t see any newly acquainted person as a potential partner. Also, don’t try and find a partner outside your interests, rather find what you really enjoy, whether it’s hiking, cycling, triathlon, throw yourself at these activities, join the clubs and groups, and you’ll meet like-minded people while doing these ….  And that’s probably your best bet for finding a compatible partner.  It worked for me.

 

Also, don’t date while you still harbour negative thoughts towards your ex … or exes It taints stuff.  ;) 

I was wondering if the developers of Strava would add a relationship status field on profiles for me  :D  

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hahaha!!!

I was wondering if the developers of Strava would add a relationship status field on profiles for me  :D  

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I was wondering if the developers of Strava would add a relationship status field on profiles for me :D

Some hot guy in front of you over the weekend was there? [emoji23]......With some good old fashioned stalking I'm sure you could easily find that out in a matter of minutes[emoji1]
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Some hot guy in front of you over the weekend was there? [emoji23]......With some good old fashioned stalking I'm sure you could easily find that out in a matter of minutes[emoji1]

You would think it is as easy as on You... 

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Lol..I started watching that last night!

It is awesome. The second season even better.

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