Johan Bornman Posted September 22, 2010 Share Johan BornmanAddress Etc. To: Mr ER VenterKululaPO Box 7015Bonaero Park 1622 22 September 2010 Mr VenterEarly next month I’m flying Kulula again. I am very worried. Every time I fly Kulula, the plane is late. I then get home late and it makes me grumpy for a very long time. My wife hates grumpy. My dogs hate grumpy.But I have a plan. I’ve enclosed my plan and by now you’ve seen it. A shiny new watch with special features like some big and some small dials, big waterproof buttons and a handy strap for fixing it to your arm. I’d appreciate it if you could hand this watch over to your pilot. Explain to him how it works, that big-hand little-hand thing and tell him to make sure that the plane leaves when it is supposed to leave. I hope the waterproof feature is unnecessary.Then I also have a special request. Ask your pilots not to talk to the passengers. They have nothing interesting to say. We really don’t care that we are taking off in a north-easterly direction. Or flying over Sutherland or some other dorp I can’t see from my aisle seat in the middle of the plane. The cruising altitude is also of no interest to us. We know it is high and that there will be consequences if we fall. That’s enough for us. Besides, we can’t relate to feet and furlongs. It wasn’t taught at school and I believe we moved over to the decimal system in 1970. In fact, just disconnect their intercom system. Finally, the novelty of the budget airline has worn off and we understand that sardines get to play less for their flights than fatcats. We put up with it but would prefer to suffer in silence. The video camera in the toilet joke and lost goods auction jokes are old. Skip the jokes. I look forward to getting home on time Yours sincerelyJB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bikemonster Posted September 22, 2010 Share I wouldn't change a thing. But I would give them a digital watch instead of an analog for 2 reasons:1 - No learning required to read it.2 - When the battery dies and the watch stops, they will know it. Good luck with getting home on time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Racingsnail Posted September 22, 2010 Share Like it and agree the jokes were good years back...not now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gummibear Posted September 22, 2010 Share Can i send you my address and you send me a nice looking watch to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slowpoke Posted September 22, 2010 Share as is - i have taken to putting my headphones on before takeoff and read. no mp3 player on - just the headphones to not have to hear the corny cr@p they come up with Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fandacious Posted September 22, 2010 Share IS this popeyes watch that was replaced with swimming pool manuals and a 1987 you magazine? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris_K Posted September 22, 2010 Share I think this letter is perfect, hope that instead of Grumpy, happy arrives. That way the wife and the dog are also happy. We all know what that means..... cheers Johan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kosmonooit Posted September 22, 2010 Share Like it or loathe it, feet are the international unit for aviation altitude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAAD4 Posted September 22, 2010 Share Is that watch carbon? Weight? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark ellis Posted September 22, 2010 Share Ha ha..excellent only thing I would have changed would to send a digital watch, that thing just going to cause more confusion for the pilot, he is going to be telling you all that you flying at an altitute of 9:25 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azi Posted September 22, 2010 Share The letter is good, but rather be safe than sorry. If you are sending a Chopard watch, rather send it to me. I will fly with the watch and the pilot, and if he gets anything wrong, I will slap him over the head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kranswurm Posted September 22, 2010 Share There's something wrong with the watch The bottom has fallen off the 2 on the twelve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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