Get a gravel bike that can fit at least 50mm or 2inch MTB tyres and make sure you are running the correct tyre pressure.
Most of our roads are quite rough and the extra rubber helps to absorb the bumps and roll a bit smoother. I'm running 48's(and my frame can go up to 2.1inch) It helps me to feel a bit more confident on the bike, you don't have to be so careful when compared to the guys running 40/42mm. I do have some friends who are firm believers in a 45mm max and that works for them but the added comfort, puncture resistance and better rolling resistance works for me.
Don't know if this helps but I changed my 44cm aluminium gravel handlebar to a 40cm carbon handlebar and for me the overall handling was a big improvement. I was able to keep up with the MTBs when descending where normally I would fall behind a bit. I'm not the best at descending, even on my MTB. So I will test it a bit more and see whether I will switch back again.
