IT Technician's Funniets Stories

[mtbN00b]

All your IT Support people or technicians ...give us your funny stories...

[mtbN00b]

"My mouse does not want to work"

"is it plugged in"

"No stupid, it is a wireless mouse..."

"Have you tried replacing the batteries?"

"ha ha ... have i tried replacing the batteries? It is suppose to be wireless so why does it need power????"

 

[Mutt]

I used to be an IT support dood. i specialised in Exchange and SANs. Im still in IT but no longer push machine buttons. But I degress! If anyone asks what i do for a living i say - I work at the bank and thats the end of the discussion! In the past when you proudly declare you work in it they would start

 

1) I bought my kid the internet for christmas

 

2) I have a pentiun 2 with 32Meg memory blah blah blah..... to which I felt compelled to respond - And your point is?

 

3)I have the internet at home to which i felt the need to reply - damn thats one big house you got.

 

the list goes on.

[Alida]

"Our server caught fire will you be able to help us restore the database?"

"When did you last make a backup?"

"Yesterday."
"Great then you won't have lost too much data. Where is the backup?"

"On the server."

"The one that caught fire?"

"Yes"

[Mutt]

One of my guys came to me one day in stitches. A new business analyst had been issued with a laptop and a 3G card but it appears she had logged a call because the 3G did not work.

 

turns out the card was still in its case but the aerial was plugged in to the earphone jack.

 

 

 

 

 

Then there is the time we found someones My Documents which contains My pictures and My Videos (See where this is going?) synchronised about 30Gb to the server so it was flagged for a check. Seems this woman had downloaded her pictures and videos to her laptop and they were dicey to say the least - never looked at her the same way again!!!

[Daxiet]

 

I used to be an IT support dood. i specialised in Exchange and SANs. Im still in IT but no longer push machine buttons. But I degress! If anyone asks what i do for a living i say - I work at the bank and thats the end of the discussion! In the past when you proudly declare you work in it they would start

 

1) I bought my kid the internet for christmas

 

2) I have a pentiun 2 with 32Meg memory blah blah blah..... to which I felt compelled to respond - And your point is?

 

3)I have the internet at home to which i felt the need to reply - damn thats one big house you got.

 

the list goes on.

 

Wise words, from this day forth I work at the bank

 

[mtbN00b]

My grandpa(about 86) always ask me what I do as a job... then what must I tell him , I mean I am a software developer and starting to explain to him what I do will take like 10 years and after that he still would not understand... but now when he ask me this I just say I work with computers...then there is like a minute's silence and then he starts to talk about something else ...

[Azonic]

Fixed a client's daughter's PC up couple of months ago. 20 year old chic. Seems she and her boyfriend were also quite good photographers... Yeah, like that. Could never quite look at her the same way either...

 

[AuctionLamb]

I am not in support or a technician but this woman called me to help her out. She need's to insert a jpg image that has been mailed to her in a Word doc. This image contains a signature so the dude does not have to sign every single document.

 

She asks me why does the image not display, had a look and see that there is an envelope at the bottom of doc where the signature is suppose to be. So what she has done, she copied the complete mail incl. the jpg image file and pasted it where the signature has to be.

 

She told me that the boss told her she must attach the image in the mail into the doc as the signature...so she just copied the whole mail and attached it.

 

[mtbN00b]

 

Fixed a client's daughter's PC up couple of months ago. 20 year old chic. Seems she and her boyfriend were also quite good photographers... Yeah' date=' like that. Could never quite look at her the same way either...

 

[/quote']

 

Hoped you did the nice guy thing and made a backup off all of the photos - just for on your memory stick - just for in case her hard drive crashes???

 

[Daxiet]

IT is a very broad definition, I can't give myself a perfect title to explain what I do. To explain means I need to go in depth and yes that would take around 10 years and I have better things to do. Hence the bank thing sounds great.

[mtbN00b]

 

I am not in support or a technician but this woman called me to help her out. She need's to insert a jpg image that has been mailed to her in a Word doc. This image contains a signature so the dude does not have to sign every single document.

 

She asks me why does the image not display' date=' had a look and see that there is an envelope at the bottom of doc where the signature is suppose to be. So what she has done, she copied the complete mail incl. the jpg image file and pasted it where the signature has to be.

 

She told me that the boss told her she must attach the image in the mail into the doc as the signature...so she just copied the whole mail and attached it.

 

[/quote']

 

haha makes you wonder why do not ban certain people from using computers haha

 

[Sammajoor]

Had the same with clients.... still do not know how one clients wife got her ankles behind her ears.

 

Then there was the client that bought a printer only to phone me 10 min later telling me I had sold the biggest sh*t to her.   drove all the way back, just to see that the cleaner had unplugged the printer to vacuum the room.

 

And do not get me started on websites people visit.

 

And Spyware...........  WOW

 

[Azonic]

Samma... I've made allot of money off this one oke who regularly calls me in to come "clean" his computer from all the pr0n. He swears high and low that he has no idea how this "filth" gets onto his computer every time. But, it must be removed before his female business partner sees it you understand. Ninja pr0n, appears out of nowhere. I just nod and smile and pocket the dosh.

[Bike Mob]

I was working in London and had installed loads of PC for finance analysts etc. one oke got a huge top model Dell Laptop, Docking Station and monster 21inch screen - then still CRT.

 

Anyway he didnt use his LT much and his boss decided a PC was better/cheaper. All users work goes stright to the server so I installed basic programs and re-mapped drive etc and head over to do the exhange of his machines...

 

So I'm disconnecting everything and he says, hey so will I keep all my information... before I could answer he taps the top of the giant monitor and says...oh right don't worry, it's all in here right...

 

Yup I said all in there

 

[Bike Mob]

I also, while working in London looked after the users in our Scottish office remotely with VNC. So a new staff member comes in and I log in to her PC and start clicking away setting up email etc...

 

Every window I open she closes... open mail she clicks the cross to close it...

 

So I try type in word for her to stop! Closed that.

 

So I figure she's spooked and call the rest of the IT dept to watch! I open about 20 IE pages and every program I can click my mouse on while she's frantically closing everything!

 

Then it's gone...

 

So I call Scotland.... Hi There, I'm trying to install your PC and you keep preventing me from doing so...

 

Thank heavens it's only you! I thought the machine was possessed and I pulled the plug out of the wall!!