GBguy

First five get coffee. The waitress asked whether they all wanted coffee. Any one of the six who didn't want coffee could therefore answer that, no, they didn't all want coffee. The fact that the first five all said they didn't know meant that they did want coffee, but couldn't speak for their colleagues. Grammar nazis.

Judging by the car, 1920s

Super Jolly? Looks taller than my Mini. Wonderful machines.

I'm not so sure... that ship has sailed. Upon reflection, it should be issued with a stern warning. Now that I've got the jokes aside, I concur.

Dip, I don't know your machine, but I struggled to get a decent microfoam out of mine until I read somewhere that some machines make too much steam for small quantities of milk. I blocked one of the (two) gaaitjies on my steam wand by shoving a toothpick into it and, bingo, silky foam. Still haven't nailed latte art, though...

Those are global stats - AIDS is the biggest killer in all the countries of Southern Africa.

If you guys are talking about Morph's grammar-nazi clip on the previous page... it's always an interesting dilemma for an editor: to rewrite something that is bad English, but clear, into something that is tortuously correct? I wondered whether it would be possible to edit his excerpt without falling into that trap, and I came up with: "Every time I see a spelling mistake I look at my keyboard to see whether a wrong key was pressed or the writer can’t spell; I have too much time on my hands." The last bit is a freebie. Anyone do better? BTW, my favourite "it looks wrong" word is swap. Comes up more often than onomatopoeia.

Lovely... but what's the thing behind it, that looks like an aerial connected to it by a cable. Does the software update automatically from the cloud? Does it report you to the barista police if you pull too hard? Is it to protect you from lightning? I'm dying to know...

I use a naked portafilter - wouldn't be without it. I don't think it changes the flavour (mine takes the same basket as the regular PF) but it instantly diagnoses channeling, and it's easier to spot the exact point where the shot starts blonding. So, overall, much more consistent pulls - and there's nothing sexier than watching that liquid tiger's eye oozing out. Well, almost nothing. And I haven't been squirted yet, V12. Edit: the other thing is that it's much quicker to clean.

I'm leaving Gordon's Bay now, V12 - I should be there tomorrow before you knock off... Congratulations - I wish you many thousands of great shots. Great plumbing, BTW. Down here in the Cape, water doesn't flow uphill.

IIRC, the petrol tank was under the saddle. "Tank" was a glove compartment. Was a heavy bike - I often wished it had a reverse gear. One time we broke down in the Free State, near Bethlehem. Turned out it was the battery - bike couldn't run without it. And the battery was very hard to find. Ended up hitch-hiking back to Durban, and going back with a car and trailer to pick it up. But we had some good times on that bike...

Yes, 500cc, watercooled, shaft driven. Lovely bike.

Definitely a Goldwing. I had one - and a Silverwing - although both of mine were in tourer configuration, with full fairings, panniers and top-boxes.

I refuse to give up on you. It's "imperfect".

I just want to support V12man on the freezing issue. I get two or three kilos of beans roasted to my specifications and then I divide them into 250g batches, put them in ziploc bags, push out as much air as I can (squeezing the bags between two cushions) and freeze them. When I defrost them (haven't found a time limit yet) I don't open the bag until it's at room temperature, so that condensation doesn't form on the beans. After defrosting I find the beans make as much crema, and taste as good, as the freshly roasted beans. The quality falls off quite quickly - maybe a little quicker than the never-frozen bean - but I get through 250g in about five days, so it's not an issue. I do the same with caffeinated and decaf, and I've been doing it for years. I know the wisdom is/was that you shouldn't freeze beans, but there was a blind tasting published on one of the coffee websites four or five years ago, which clearly demonstrated that the tasters couldn't tell the difference between freshly roasted and freshly defrosted beans, although they had no problem identifying week-old beans, IIRC. Brian Fantana mentioned that he found same-day-roasted beans had a bigger kick - and this is also my experience. In Ethiopia they roast the bean as part of the coffee-making ceremony, and the coffee is wicked! I made the mistake of having two cups one morning, and I didn't sleep for 48 hours. The only thing is, if you try to espress coffee using same-day beans, you get all crema and very little coffee. Tastes wonderful, though. IMHO, of all the factors that go into a great cup of coffee, the absolute top of the pyramid is freshly roasted beans, closely followed by the quality of the water and milk (if you use milk - I don't). For my money, it's more important that a bean is freshly roasted than whether it comes from Ethiopia or Port Shepstone. I would much rather push a freshly roasted (and freshly ground, of course) bean through my Aeropress, than a supermarket bean through my espresso machine. But I know lots of people who don't agree, and who prefer pod-coffee, made with water that reeks of chlorine and old pipes, topped with a wad of milk froth that looks like a bathroom sponge, as long as it's scalding hot and takes 1 minute to make. Or stewed railway coffee. Or (shudder) instant. It's all good.

Cum again?

My wife was pointing her camera while I was pulling a shot yesterday:

No, she would give me a lawnmower - probably the old-fashioned mechanical push type

Yeah, that would do it. Much better to keep the shot short and add a spot of boiling water if, like me, you want more than a sip.

The softness of the water isn't a problem, but it tastes like $&!#. Here in Gordon's Bay it even smells bad - we filter all the water we use for drinking, cooking etc. I remember reading somewhere that some Boland towns also have a problem with cysts (cryptosporidium and garda, IIRC) in their water. Yum!

Are you using filtered water?

If you're joking, then I hope all the (young and?) impressionable members don't take you seriously. If you're not joking, jeez man, it's very uncool to use violence to resolve anything. All you do is open the door to more violence. Have we learned nothing?

No. The chemistry is the same as your cellphone and laptop - it's quite safe to top it up, as often as you like. But it's a good idea to disconnect the charger as soon as it shows that it's fully charged - lithium ion batteries don't like being "trickle charged" - shortens their lives. Also, FWIW, you can't "run them flat" - they turn themselves off when they get down to a certain voltage. If you somehow allowed the voltage to drop much below that level, the cell would be irreparably damaged.

Kitchen knife block, 12-inch Sabatier, sharpened for filleting fish. A heavy coffee grinder. And one of those tennis-racket high voltage mozzie killers. Decisions decisions...

I'm sorry to say that I had exactly the opposite experience with them. Took my Expobar there to sort out the steam boiler, which (still) isn't refilling reliably. They had it a week then phoned to say it was sorted. I collected it and paid, schlepped it home and found it was exactly as before. When I went back their technician said he hadn't found anything wrong with it (this, after telling me it was fixed and taking my money). I blew a fuse and demanded my money back. That was four or five months ago - haven't heard from them, or got a cent back, but I can't bear to talk to them. I've been looking around for someone else to fix it, but I don't make cappuccinos myself so I keep putting it off. I have heard from someone else in the trade that he, too, has problems with their technical department, so it's not just me. They are good for spares, though...