Amberdrake

I am fully expecting ill pay larger portion but not all of it. We have been to social worker to work out the schedule, as is we share custody 50% and social worker made it clear no amount of badgering is gonna change that unless something major happens (ie someone is negligent in extreme).

If you want to make me mad you put stuff on my workspace...... everything has a spot and the spot is not on top of the bench.

So I figure its time for a update, I hope everyone else is keeping well and things have gone well. For myself its been a rocky time, Ex is dragging her heels and current living situation is not gonna work forever(staying with my sister and we have a hate hate love relationship most of the time). So latest is lawyers wanted to sit round table and settle, Ex decided that she doesn't want to do that now only in OCT. This has forced us to file for a court date to get conclusion as it does not seem she is really interested in negotiating. O yes in her counter claim she wanted me to pay everything for daughter (school,daycare,clothing,sports,holidays and medical) and give maintenance. We have daughter 50% of time each and don't earn nearly such extravagantly different salaries. (I claimed split it all half way). Given we both claimed low and high respectively but hers is just a little wow. So now I wait for court date and go from there, if she settles before court might be over soon but we shall see what happens. For most part I soldier on wards and hope life shows a light at the end of tunnel. I started playing some Tabletop RPGs at local club and been running again, riding once in while, so in general life is getting back on track! On a side note my DAD is trying to rope me into doing Ironman again....

Unless you have another work space or never ever do anything diy I would keep it as is but clean it up to look nice again. I have recently added similar sized bench in my garage hardwood top (no idea what wood Dad sourced it somewhere). If you want bit more options maybe section it into two smaller benches, would need to add extra legs etc. Then maybe add wheels too one of them, then you can use it as portable workspace (get the locking wheels). If you already have a workspace, Friend turned a table like that(shorter one however) into baby changing station and now uses it as extra counter space in new house. His was one of those builders ones though and yours would look lot better cleaned up.

So went riding this weekend on MTB for first time in 6months odd, during my general pre ride check etc I notice my saddle is looking little more breathy, Some how while hanging in storage well away from everything its developed some square shaped stabby type wounds in the foam through the fo leather. Was still a great ride. Saddle works just less pretty.

Sounds gr8 maybe a good chance to setup a interview or two?

Its an interesting situation, I would honestly like to know what the real legal situation is here, would suck horribly if the agreement made could be ratified after allowing kids to leave.

No expert but somehow I highly doubt she can try and apply a NZ law without a new court order. You'r not subject to NZ law either and it becomes a diplomatic issue.

Moridin with the new Intel Flaws and the software patches they need to implement dropping performance as much as 25% the whole game changes, waiting a month or two for some concrete info on said performance loss is a good idea. Only reason I went Intel was due to the lack of possible motherboards for the Ryzen at the time. The cost became the same and performace was better on intel chip for same price.

I do use this nickname everywhere, But as she hasn't reacted to things posted here I doubt she checks. In end I refuse to withdraw from everywhere just because she invades my life. I don't use social media much, but It is unfortunately the only means I have of communicating with old friends out of country(yes I am aware whatsapp etc exists not an option however). In end if she wants to know she will find out, there many ways to invade privacy (dont think you lot without social media are safe.)

Im sure if she suspected this thread existed that she would read it. I highly doubt that's happened though.

Even though I have her on Facebook I enabled the content block(she doesn't get informed), This allows me to not view her posts and comfortably post whatever I want. Once in while ill go look at her photos to see if there something I don't have regarding daughter. I have taken the point of view that whatsapp not related to immediate needs of my daughter gets ignored at least 1 hour, If a response is required at all as read reports show that I have seen it. I no longer talk about anything unrelated to my Daughter at all, Ex lies and tries to manipulate me and I don't need that in my life.

Landy just ignore it. best medicine for it all is to not let it affect you. My divorce only got filed last week, since we were trying to settle and that didn't happen. Ex been trying her best to upset me when I have daughter, I just need to remember breath and move on.

I use Fusion360 its nice, very close to solidworks but without all the extra simulation and testing software you pay for. If you want to get into fusion360 check out Lars Christensen on Youtube, does full on tutorials and live shows re how to use software. I hated sketch up, It isnt logical using % scaling to resize lines instead of just changing value, it was horrible.

its offered by a lady that does normal counselling and was recommended by social worker. Its more about understanding and dealing with each other better As we have young child. The idea is to let go of past and move on. I do think it helped me understand how much she truly never trusted me. I have however on my own and with help of friends and this thread reflected a lot and already done the dealing. ex is not at same space she admits she is angry. I also feel somewhat like she blames everything on me.

Wednesday we had the second divorce counseling session. It was extremely mentally exhausting, ex still thinks we can work and just need counseling to fix communication. She however revealed that she doesn't trust me and hasn't for years, also doesn't feel like she can confide in me. To me those are things that cant just be fixed the years of hurt and scars don't just go away, its no longer about just communication, the self reflection has made me realize other things that was wrong for a long time. I would still recommend the post divorce counselling, but prepare yourself for some serious talking and emotional pain.

I also want to do things like this, but I know that this women will be part of my life as we have daughter that will need her and its not gonna change. Doing such petty things will just upset her and then result in difficult times ahead. TBH I find it hard because of all the animosity my family has for her. They dont feel she should be punished etc etc etc, but yea that wont be best for my daughter IMHO. Strange when your the one trying to calm the world after your the one that has been flooded with emotional blackmail type messages etc.

ROFL The other lawyer at the practice Partner not that kind of partner But yea I definitely did Blood pressure is already lower.

Update for the week I guess, Went to Social Worker on Wednesday past, she set dates for sleepover and told wife and me that we better learn to get along nicely etc, with divorce counselor number etc, and going for divorce kid workshop etc. So all going well and mostly normal, till she starts bugging me midday Saturday, and hasn't stopped since silly things mostly. She asked what I want to do with my cat since she cant afford to feed her (i buy the cats food). I'm pulling some serious strain tbh, its irritating that she is so blind to the stupidity of her own actions. Hoping lawyer gets things sorted but yea she busy as her partner ended up in icu with heart attack.

She was, however she made other arrangements. I am being serious here I was in no state to drive the distance required. My father and sister was standing next to me when call came and sister was shaking her head before I even said no. She could have called my dad he would also have helped. I am the go to guy because she wants to reconcile, I don't. So i have to play the bad guy and distance myself, and force my time with kid or be left with her interrupting it all the time. I left for many reasons, none of them have changed in her other than she decided to see a counselor now. I did say I would also attend for best of my Child after divorce, but her appointment clashed with my time to drop of kid at school....... something she knew it would do. So I politely declined and we will have to make alternate arranged time.

Soooo Ex strips her clutch this mng (the car) on way to work (not exactly sure what happened tbh) I get a call, whats wrong with car possibly, so im like no freaking clue (TBH I was dead tired). Few minutes later new call, can you fetch me, I'm like nope sorry impossible just got home after working all night and being up 24hrs I can't see straight its irresponsible for me to drive now(50km in traffic odd). So i'm the bad guy now cause I had other things going. Days like today remind me why I left.

I have seen this first hand with my friend and his now Fiance, they love her too bits. Mom is the main parental guardian, due too his work at the time of divorce. They are hoping to have kids around more often and have even managed to get more week days.

I Agree Its the one thing I keep doing.

Yes controlled groups, IE family whatsapp, Even the facebook is friends only as far as I am aware ill have to check again the settings.

Sorry My post doesn't show it but I do exactly that. I refuse to argue, I turn and walk away. I spend time with my daughter as I can as much as I can. All of the time I take pictures for the family and friends and post it on groups. I have no need to prove anything as I spent 2 weeks watching her alone during dec. I do my best and this fight is about the health of my child and that's what makes it hard, I can see the change in daughter from with me and grandfather VS what we see when she just came from home(ex staying there alone atm with her).