Tuesday smile

[L'Bie]

 

 

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside

 

 

 

her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?'

 

 

 

'Of course child. What may I do for you?'

 

 

 

'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my Mother's

 

birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid

 

they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs

 

for me? Under your robes perhaps?'

 

 

 

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.'

 

 

 

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'

 

 

 

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official

 

asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

 

 

 

'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'

 

 

 

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to

 

 

 

declare from your waist to the floor?'

 

 

 

'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is,

 

 

 

to date, unused.'

 

 

 

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next !'

[water bottle]

BEER BY SEVEN YEAR OLDS
A handful of 7 year old children were asked 'What they thought of beer'.
 
'I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets.'
              --Tim, 7 years old

'Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want
on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice. '
              --Mellanie, 7 years old

'My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she
drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn't think this is
very funny.'
              --Grady, 7 years old

''My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they
drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.'
              --Toby, 7 years old

'My Dad gets funny on beer.   He is funny. He also wets his pants
sometimes, so he shouldn't have too much.
              --Sarah, 7 years old

'My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances.
One time he danced right into the pool.'
              --Lilly, 7 years old

'I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it,
he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting.'
              --Ethan, 7 years old

'I give Dad's beer to the dog and he goes to sleep.'
              --Shirley, 7 years old

AND THE BEST RESPONSE

'My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father.

Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury
his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense.'
              --Jack, 7 years old

[fandacious]

beer.

 

the reason i get up in the afternoon

 

[scotty]

[Tumbleweed]

beer.

the reason i get up in the afternoon

 

"the reason i get up (off the floor) in the afternoon", you mean

[fandacious]

 

beer.

 

the reason i get up in the afternoon

 

"the reason i get up (off the floor) in the afternoon"' date=' you mean

[/quote']

 

you're not truly pissed if you can lie on the floor without holding on