Jump to content

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 78.8k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • 'Dale

    4541

  • Hairy

    4311

  • gummibear

    3909

  • Eddy Gordo

    3867

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted

tiny naked women frolicking in bathtubs connected by intricate plumbing looking more like anatomical parts than hydraulic contraptions;

Posted

SARS decides to audit Grandpa and summons him to the SARS office.

 

The SARS auditor is not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

 

The auditor says, "Well sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no

full-time employment, which you explain by saying that

 

you win money gambling. I'm not sure the SARS finds that believable."

 

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Grandpa. "How about a

demonstration?"

 

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

 

Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a R1,000 that I can bite my own eye."

 

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet."

 

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.

 

The auditor's jaw drops.

 

Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you R2,000 that I can bite my other eye."

 

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

 

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

 

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost R3,000 with

Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

 

"Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks. "I'll bet you R6,000 that I

can stand on one side of your desk and pee into

 

that waste basket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in

between."

 

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now but he looks carefully and

decides there's no way this old guy could possibly

 

manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

 

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he

strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the

 

waste basket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the

auditor's desk.

 

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss

into a huge win.

 

But Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

 

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

 

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd

been summoned for an audit, he bet me

 

R25,000 that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that

you'd be happy about it. :

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Settings My Forum Content My Followed Content Forum Settings Ad Messages My Ads My Favourites My Saved Alerts My Pay Deals Help Logout