Volvo Cars Life Paint (Brilliant)

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

Great Thanks i'm gonna be checking today and ordering if they ship to SA

they only ship to the UK & Ireland atm

[Dirt De Vil]

Bike Snob goes even further in a blog post: http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2015/03/sprayed-and-neutered-when-it-comes-to.html

 

Speaking of LSD, someone at Volvo must be on it, because they want us all to spraypaint ourselves so we glow in the dark:

 

 

 

Because apparently riding in "connected helme(n)ts" is not enough.

 

To illustrate how important it is for us to be visible at night, Volvo include this clip of a speeding cyclist with aerobars rear-ending a car:

 

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7V8zTVc9kjE/VRnAKA-l4rI/AAAAAAAA8AI/ilcwFORKPBo/s1600/rear%2Bended.jpeg

I'm not sure how rider photoluminescence would have prevented or mitigated this boneheaded collision in any way, but I'll agree that if he had been glowing it sure would have been cool as hell to watch.

 

Anyway, you can rest assured that collisions like these will now be a thing of the past, because Volvo have come up with this handy travel-size anti-death spray:

 

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6Z3N9DupTIA/VRnAcUG5WlI/AAAAAAAA8AQ/XcOztaKgYZ8/s1600/lifepaint.jpeg

My first thought was, "How do we know this isn't carcinogenic?"

 

My second thought was, "Maybe they tested it on animals."

 

My third thought was, "Holy ****, we're the test animals."

 

Then I sprayed myself in the face with Lifepaint, forgot all my cares, and lapsed into a blissful slumber.

 

Yes, Lifepaint makes everything okay.  I mean, we all know that nothing bad can happen to us when we're wearing our helments, right?  But you know what's even safer than a helment?  A helment thatglows!

 

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mCTYM7KVIMA/VRnBZUQbzLI/AAAAAAAA8AY/1G7i7vwHBKQ/s1600/helment.jpeg

Lifepaint also makes a fantastic deodorant:

 

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Nvee-xgawzY/VRnCsixev8I/AAAAAAAA8Ag/BtuMeAFCs_w/s1600/deodorant.jpeg

 

(He's spraying it down the front of his pants.)

And best of all it makes you look like a vengeful specter who's returned from the beyond to torment the driver who hit you and left you for dead:

 

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-q9AIMcyQHd0/VRnC9sdskZI/AAAAAAAA8Ao/tN1L_4q2rnc/s1600/ghostrider.jpeg

You'll know a driver has a guilty conscience if, upon seeing you, they make the sign of the cross and then steer their car into a tree or off the nearest overpass.

 

The video is also full of testimonials, including this one:

 

"Putting something on that will make you scream out to drivers like me is a fantastic thing."

 

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mr7IZ4p2zSA/VRnEGgh_ccI/AAAAAAAA8Aw/7ypTOtpdRaE/s1600/glowing%2Bbike.jpeg

Wow.  So it's not enough to be visible anymore.  Now we've got to "scream out" and glow from head to toe or else we're fair game.

 

I assume when she says "drivers like me" she means "oblivious idiots."

 

Amazing how drivers keep outsourcing any and all responsibility.

 

Hopefully this backfires on Volvo and the streets of London get covered with glow-in-the-dark penises.

 

You know, the idea of a spray-on reflector isn't even the worst idea in the world in and of itself, but when it's branded by a car company it's downright offensive--and don't get any smart ideas either, like covering yourself in Lifepaint, riding into a car on purpose, and then suing Volvo:

 

Volvo Cars/Grey/Albedo accept no liability or responsibility for any individual or individual's accident or injury by any road user or other object whilst wearing Lifepaint, damage to property caused directly or indirectly by the paint and that it is transferable. Cycle safety is the cyclist's responsibility and Lifepaint is one of the many products that can aid visibility but cannot prevent accidents caused by the individual or other road users.

 

This product has been brought to you by Volvo Car UK Limited.

 

In the making of this film we used both reflective paint products available from Albedo100.

Lifepaint was used on textiles and is water based, and the other Alebdo reflective paint products are for metals and are oil based so not suitable for use on textiles due to permanent nature. The film has not had any post production enhancement to the reflective capabilities seen.

 

After all, it's just repurposed pet spray:

 

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NuDOGndMC-I/VRnG44TbRHI/AAAAAAAA8A8/-lcw3IEtx3I/s1600/horse%2Band%2Bpet.jpeg

Albedo100 Horse and Pets is a spray with light-reflective properties intended for use on fur. The spray has a light grey shade that might be perceived as colourless but is light-reflective in the dark.

 

The reflective effect is useful for the evening walks with your dog, horse-riding or jogging. Increase the visibility and safety of yourself and your pet in traffic by spraying e.g. the leash, tail or legs of your horse or dog.

 

Sounds about right.

 

And not to be outdone, GM is offering a flame retardant version for the American market, which may or may not be rebranded spray-on truck bed liner:

 

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fQBrxTgZXJk/VRnHsU9eveI/AAAAAAAA8BE/Q6gykxs1h10/s1600/truck%2Bbed%2Bcoating.jpg

If the car companies can't tar and feather us then one out of two ain't bad.

 

Ai tog, hy kort bietjie TLC. Sy ma het hom te veel of te min vas gehou. Hy moes nogal baie PK's ontvang het in sy vormings jare.

[Dirt De Vil]

 

In browsing i came across this product released by Volvo Cars (link below)

 

what do you guys think, this has got to help on our roads.

 

http://www.volvocarslifepaint.com/

 

Hey anyone from Volvo S A let's hear when this might hit our shores.

 

 

Great product. Anything is worth it if it contributes in saving lives.

[davem]

So looking for alternatives, came across this:

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Rust-Oleum-214944-Reflective-Finish-Spray-Paint-Transparent-Clear-/161656487835

 

Rustoleum product so quite likely available in SA. It is a permanent clear reflective paint. Worth investigation.Spray the seat post, spokes and helmet. Maybe even the whole frame.

 

http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NjAwWDYwMA==/z/4BsAAOSwqu9VGQr~/$_12.JPG

[GregM]

they only ship to the UK & Ireland atm

got the same info off the website but have family in UK that will be ordering for me if anyone keen on getting hands on some i'm gonna bring in 2 cases 24 units.

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

So looking for alternatives, came across this:

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Rust-Oleum-214944-Reflective-Finish-Spray-Paint-Transparent-Clear-/161656487835

 

Rustoleum product so quite likely available in SA. It is a permanent clear reflective paint. Worth investigation.Spray the seat post, spokes and helmet. Maybe even the whole frame.

 

http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NjAwWDYwMA==/z/4BsAAOSwqu9VGQr~/$_12.JPG

I'll be getting myself some of that, then

[GoLefty!!]

but more to Rock's point...

 

 

 

 

what makes em see better during the day?

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

but more to Rock's point...

 

 

 

 

what makes em see better during the day?

No clue.... Making yourself as big as possible (visually)?

[Andrew64]

got the same info off the website but have family in UK that will be ordering for me if anyone keen on getting hands on some i'm gonna bring in 2 cases 24 units.

Let me know what's the costs are and will take a box or two and split the courier cost. I still haven't got any answers from VCSA

[Oxter]

hows it going to help me when I ride my bike during the DAY????

 

What???? You ride during the day...burn him at the stake

[Andrew64]

You would need at least three cans to do a bike as advertised at R450 a pop, I don't think so, and it would last a week

[HairyLegs]

http://cyclelab.com/accessories/protection/albedo100-invisible-bright-reflective-spray-100ml.html

 

http://cyclelab.com/accessories/protection/albedo100-light-metallic-reflective-spray-200ml.html