Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted June 26, 2009 Share Okay, So we (Farmgate & I) went to Tokai forest yesterday, at around 5pm to have a bit of a play, and for a bit of a skills session. The primary reason for this little foray, is that Chris oh so desperately wanted to overcome the little troll of a bridge that has been the source of many a hassle in his MTB?ing life. The bridge that our little frind Busta Boy has taken residence under. The Bridge in Faerie Garden. He wanted to be able to cross the bridge without resorting to getting off the bike and walking across it? First try, with me waiting patiently at the base of the bridge while showing him the correct line, he hits it. He owns it. And he is overjoyed! We promptly turn around for him to try again for a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, & 5th time. On all of these supplementary attempts though, he is thwarted by his cretinous hands that creep inevitably closer to the brakes, and then pull them at the pivotal moment. We are now at attempt number 6, which Chris has assured me it will ?definitely happen?. So I stand in my normal spot, and have a full view of his attempt in order to help him with any errors he may have made. And, low and behold, he does it! He manages to slay the demon on his shouldaaaaaaaaaargh!!! Chris has, in what seems to me to be a manner of utmost precision, managed to clear the rocky descent, maneuver himself onto the bridge, and, like a deer in the headlights, lock his gaze on the edge of the bridge. This coincides with him making the mighty mistake of forgetting to turn in order to complete the transition from bridge to trail. He keeps his arms locked. His feet clipped in. And executes the PERFECT faceplant. If there was a class, he would be the Professor, having graduated Cum Laude from the University of Mishaps. His hands, they had remained glued to the bars thoughout the full pendulum-like arc of his fall from grace. His bike follows him through, as if to say ?I?m with you, whatever you do?. After all, he is still clipped in. It seems as if the Troll has won this battle. The war is still to come. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the result? 19 stitches later, and he is discharged from Constantia Medi Clinic. Worst of all though, he is ordered to leave in a wheelchair, because he might fall and hit the ground (or a stray root, whatever). Which I offer to pilot, naturally. This was the event that made him feel like a total invalid. Will i let him forget it? NOT LIKELY!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slowbee Posted June 26, 2009 Share i object .. hit the report button - remove that pic ... you are scaring me from mtbing over bridges. Hope it heals man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted June 26, 2009 Share He's all stitched up... and a bit sore on his lip, but otherwise unscathed. He has sworn that the bridge shall die, though... And there i was thinking of taking him down Downhill 1! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColiHoff Posted June 26, 2009 Share Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean Badenhorst Posted June 26, 2009 Share Ouch! cptmayhem, you're a good friend. Now, to be regarded as a great friend, you need to help him slay that troll as soon as possible. I have a troll to slay at the moment and I know that I have to do it sooner rather than later. farmgate, heal fast man, you've got a troll to crush. I know you know this, but when you return to the bridge, look where you WANT to go... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farm Gate Posted June 27, 2009 Share I shall slay the bridge. As for capt Mayhem, thaks for the help, although I'm not so sure about your post.My advice to all mountain bikers - dont wear a helemt with a visor - that's what earned me 15 of the 18 stitches.Thanks to the well wishers - like the Terminator - i'll be back! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted June 27, 2009 Share Ouch! cptmayhem' date=' you're a good friend. Now, to be regarded as a great friend, you need to help him slay that troll as soon as possible. I have a troll to slay at the moment and I know that I have to do it sooner rather than later. farmgate, heal fast man, you've got a troll to crush. I know you know this, but when you return to the bridge, look where you WANT to go... [/quote'] Does that troll happen to be a particular section of "wet wood that doesn't look like wet wood but acts surprisingly similarly to wet wood in that it chucks you off your bike and makes you eat said not so wet-looking wet wood"? Oh, and don't worry - I've given him the necessary tools with which to slay said troll... Blackmail. Haha... yeah, but the thing is, he had it! and then, like a deer in the headlights, carried on looking a metre in front of his wheel (which just so happened to be the exact geographical position of edge of the bridge) instead of looking at the exit point and then further on... I think this taught him though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted June 27, 2009 Share I shall slay the bridge. As for capt Mayhem' date=' thaks for the help, although I'm not so sure about your post.My advice to all mountain bikers - dont wear a helemt with a visor - that's what earned me 15 of the 18 stitches.Thanks to the well wishers - like the Terminator - i'll be back![/quote'] I still think it was a combination of the visor, as well as how your brow just so happened to seek out the only exposed root in the vicinity. Oh - and the visor didn't really have any blood on it... that honour was reserved for the root (of the problem.. ) Next week, same place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn Posted June 27, 2009 Share give the man a FF helmet for his next sortie against the troll. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nancy Drew Posted June 27, 2009 Share Ouch! Heal soon Farm Gate..... but what we really want to see is a picture of the bridge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean Badenhorst Posted June 27, 2009 Share Ouch! cptmayhem' date=' you're a good friend. Now, to be regarded as a great friend, you need to help him slay that troll as soon as possible. I have a troll to slay at the moment and I know that I have to do it sooner rather than later. farmgate, heal fast man, you've got a troll to crush. I know you know this, but when you return to the bridge, look where you WANT to go... [/quote'] Does that troll happen to be a particular section of "wet wood that doesn't look like wet wood but acts surprisingly similarly to wet wood in that it chucks you off your bike and makes you eat said not so wet-looking wet wood"? Oh, and don't worry - I've given him the necessary tools with which to slay said troll... Blackmail. Haha... yeah, but the thing is, he had it! and then, like a deer in the headlights, carried on looking a metre in front of his wheel (which just so happened to be the exact geographical position of edge of the bridge) instead of looking at the exit point and then further on... I think this taught him though... Nah, sorted the damp wood troll out. Certain drop-off I tumbled off a few months back. Got straight back on and did it again, but haven't been able to do it since... Will do it though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted June 28, 2009 Share I know what you're going through. Every time I do a certain drop-off in Tokai, I get the numblies. Even though I get it every time, there's still that portion of doubt in the back of my mind. And I agree - the only way to conquer it is to go back out there a few days (or even the next one, if you have time) and show it who's boss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyReggae Posted June 29, 2009 Share I know what you're going through. Every time I do a certain drop-off in Tokai' date=' I get the numblies. Even though I get it every time, there's still that portion of doubt in the back of my mind. And I agree - the only way to conquer it is to go back out there a few days (or even the next one, if you have time) and show it who's boss. [/quote']I have that with the drop down the huge rock coming down Lizard. Was fearless the first few times I did it and managed well. Then bailed a few times, now I'm quite nervous every time I get to it and usually bail out right at the drop.... I go running down the hill and Uni falls down the rock. Nasty gash on the head btw.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hog_ Posted June 29, 2009 Share Ouch! Heal soon Farm Gate..... but what we really want to see is a picture of the bridge I agree! We need to see a pic of this killer bridge (with or without vomit). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted June 29, 2009 Share No sweat... will get one next time I go, unless someone else goes before me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gummibear Posted June 29, 2009 Share Eina!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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