Short version
Sat 1pm, Madeira St, Umtata. I'm abt to order a meal in KFC when a shot rang out in the street. I ran out, my car parked in front and Annalize outside screaming "they've stolen your MTB". It was true, mtb gone, Specialized racing bike hanging loosely on Thule bike rack. Black youngster(luckily not injured, two others ran away) lying behind my car. Policemen, while gathering empty round starts kicking all hell out of him. Big crowd gathering now. Me, policeman and 3rd suspect went to police-station abt 300 yards away. The next 20 minutes still like haunts me. I watched 4 assaults on mid-day crime suspects, including "my" guy. Weird thing thing was that the hitting and kicking was mostly done by women constables. Anyway, next moment some important policemen in civvies told me "we will not open document(case). we will now proceed with two vehicles into location renowned for gangster activities to try and retrieve your bike, you must come along. They pulled 2 rifles with fully loaded cabinets out the safe, signed for it and next moment I found myself, sheepishly walking towards the taxi-like vehicle and off we are - 7 policemen with me and 3 up ahead in policevan. Through the CBD, into this slum area while sirens howl, screeching tyres and all traffic ducking and diving to stay out of harms way of what's coming at them. Finally stopped at suspected hiding place of 1st and 2nd suspect, abt 10 k's away from place where crime took place. Into first house - no bike. Out they came, time for some more kicking and hitting. OK, now we're ready for next search, house next doors. In they went, out they come with mtb, front wheel missing. "Yes" I said that's mine. "Where's the wheel?" In they went, out they come with wheel. "Yes" I said " but skewer'e missing". In they went, out they came with skewer. Now all the racing and sirens and screeching tyres starts all over agin. No stopping at traffic lights, everybody must just get out of the way. Thankfully, soon we sopped again in front of policestation. I thanked everybody, took some pictures, everybody smiling, get some contact details etc.
So abt two hours later I'm on my way again, fricking hungry but keen, so very keen just to get out of Umtata - minor damage to both bikes.
I did ask the policemen "so what were they gonna do with the bikes? Oh it's really the prefered mode of transport for lots of people and bikes look very nice. So mtb(mavic crossmax tubeless, Simano xtr and Fox shock) would have sold for R30 at least, the racer( 2008 Specialised Tarmac Pro with chorus and R-sys wheels would at least fetched R50 )"
...must tell my insurer I'm way overinsured then!