I have an idea for a new thread...

[Tankman]

[Tankman]

[ThePubSA]

[Chubba]

This car took 350hrs to paint.

 

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.autoblog.com/media/2011/04/01-2011-camaro-airbursh.jpg

 

 

they need to add their friendly villan Osama!

[ThePubSA]

[HowellingWulf]

 

 

So that is how the male Blue Bulls supporters disguise their support for the Sharks - a tattoo on a man boob .

[ThePubSA]

.

[TNT1]

Holy Crap:

 

"in ancient Egypt, should a baker be found to cheat someone, they would have their ear nailed to the door of their bakery. In Babylon, if a baker was found to have sold a “light loaf” to someone, the baker would have his hand chopped off."

 

Why a Baker’s Dozen is 13 Instead of 12

[TNT1]

Me: “Thank you for calling tech support, this is Josh. How may I help you?”

 

Caller: “I installed the purple bird!”

 

Me: “Purple bird…you mean Pidgin? Yeah, it’s pretty cool. How can I help you with that today?”

 

Caller: “My buddy list is empty.”

 

Me: “Maybe none of your friends are online right now?”

 

Caller: “It doesn’t COME with friends?!”

 

Me: “No, sir…”

 

Caller: *click*

[TNT1]

Me: “Thank you for calling [mobile carrier's name]. How can I help you?”

 

Customer: “Yeah, I have an issue with my iPhone.”

 

Me: “I will be happy to help you. What is the issue with your iPhone?

 

Customer: “It’s just that when I turn it on, the apple on the screen appears bitten. Is that okay?”

[TNT1]

Me: “Here is one that will work. It is for Africa?”

 

Customer: “I am not going to Africa. I am going to Egypt!”

 

Me: “Egypt is on the African continent.”

 

Customer: “Africa is a continent?”

[TNT1]

(A customer walks in. His clothes a bit mismatched and he’s wearing a fanny pack. The eyes are bloodshot and he’s sporting a huge smile on his face. I’m relatively new at this point.)

 

Me: “Hi sir, welcome to [deli], how can I help you today?”

 

Customer: “Um, yeah can I get some monkey brains?”

 

(He’s completely serious if a little under the influence, so I go with it.)

 

Me: “Sorry sir, we’re fresh out today, truck comes tomorrow.”

 

Customer: “Dang, how about some mermaid?”

 

Me: “Mermaid isn’t in season yet sir, but our tuna is pretty good.”

 

Customer: “Bummer. Well how about your brownies, they got pot in them, right?”

 

Me: “No sir, we switched bakeries just last week.”

 

(After ordering about half of our menu and asking if everything that had a green dot next to it [indicating something organic] had pot in it, he pays and eventually leaves. I’m left in tears as I’m laughing so hard. When my manager asks me what’s going on, I explain what happened.)

 

Manager: “D***! I missed Fanny Pack Guy?!”

[TNT1]

(A customer comes up to the register angry and acting pretty drunk.)

 

Customer: “I bought this purse from you guys, and whenever I go to a store the alarm goes off! You need to fix it!”

 

Me: “Ma’am, we’ve removed the sensor when you purchased it. You should be fine. It must be something inside your purse.”

 

Customer: “No! It’s the purse! D*** fix it!”

 

Me: “Ma’am, you really need to calm down. Our door alarm didn’t go off when you entered the store.”

 

Customer: “That’s because it only happens at other stores!”

 

Me: “Well, the only other option is to take your purse apart. I don’t think you want to do that. Are you sure you don’t have any prescription drugs or CDs in there? Those can sometimes trigger the alarm.”

 

Customer: “I have pills, but they’re not exactly prescription.”

 

*awkward silence before the customer realizes what they have said*

 

Customer: “****you. I’m not going to jail for this!” *storms out*

[Chubba]

1,2,3 duck!

Edited May 11, 2011 by Chubba

[ThePubSA]

Anyone know a place that sells used flux capacitors? I just made a bid on this on ebay:

http://www.delorean.com/vin_16793/large/rfront-doorsup.jpg

 

u gonna go back2thefuture if u get it tnt1 ? the mega delorean

Edited May 11, 2011 by 2nutz

[Tumbleweed]

Pale pimples…