Jump to content

I have an idea for a new thread...


TNT1

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 78.7k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • 'Dale

    4540

  • Hairy

    4308

  • gummibear

    3909

  • Eddy Gordo

    3867

Top Posters In This Topic

Bring on the National Health sytem!!! {there are a couple of gems in here...} :clap:

 

Actual writings in Mpumalanga Hospital Register

 

1. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

 

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

 

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

 

4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 11kgs weight gain in the past three days.

 

5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

 

6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

 

7. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

 

8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

 

9. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

 

10. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

 

11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

 

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

 

13. She is numb from her toes down.

 

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

 

15. The skin was moist and dry.

 

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

 

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

 

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

 

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until She got a divorce.

 

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical Therapy.

 

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

 

22. The patient refused autopsy.

 

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

 

24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

 

25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

 

26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Settings My Forum Content My Followed Content Forum Settings Ad Messages My Ads My Favourites My Saved Alerts My Pay Deals Help Logout