Warning: Cheetah in Klapperkop Reserve

[johannrissik]

The great HCB is actually my late grandmother's uncle but we are prohibited from talking about him because he brought groot skande to the family. My family has a deep divide which splits us into two camps the De Villier Graaf's on the one side (Beaufort West) and the Bosmans ( on the wrong side of the boerewors curtain). For many years the kids born into the family were given a grace period during which a coalition of my groot tantes would observe our progress in life and place us on either side of the great divide.

 

I was confirmed a Bosman the day I created a homemade bomb in the metalwork workshop at Germiston Reformatory Technical School that blew out all windows of the workshop and forced the headmaster to evacuate the entire school. It really wasn't my fault, okay it was my idea to put the match heads in between the two bolts and a nut but it was Bruce Sillitoe's idea to put another ten match heads in. Anyway I thought that I had redeemed the family honour when I was made a prefect seven years later but my dear aunts said it didn't count because they felt I did not get it on merit. They said I only was made a prefect because Kobus Swanepoel left school when he got the Gym teacher's daughter pregnant and I got appointed in his place.

 

They also were unmoved when I became the first scholar from Germiston Reformatory to go to university. I was really upset about this because I was really diligent at University I was always the first one there in the morning and I even attended during the holidays. I worked hard at University and decided that I would go and speak to my aunts to change their minds which believe me is not a simple task.

 

The Coalition of Tantes always deliberated over these matters during a specially convened afternoon tea and I needed to be present so that they could interview me. It took me quite some time to dress up for the occasion with most of my time spent trying to decide whether putting gel on my mullet hairstyle would make it look worse or really bad. I rode to my Tant Susarah's house on my old Raleigh so I guess the helmet and the gel wouldn't have worked out anyway.

 

I knew that I was in for a hard time when I entered the Dominee sitkamer where the coalition were waiting and looking at the empty Romany Cream boxes they had been there for quite some time obviously discussing my fate. I was offered a luke warm cup of tea and an Aniseed Beskuit that was so hard I could have used it as block when I rotate my uncle's Ford Cortina's wheels. It was a short meeting and I still don't understand why they say being a security guard at the Yale street entrance of Wits does not constitute going to University. I really wish I had met my great Uncle Herman maybe he could explain it after all he was clever, he even wrote a book. But I'm going to get my revenge I'm going to vote for the Nats in next years election as long as they let us vote here in Pretoria Central.

 

To answer the original question I haven't done the Bekkersdal Marathon. Is it a race I should be doing?

 

Stop wasting your time with bicycles. Your true talent lies with the pen. Go for it.

[River Rat]

Interesting stuff going on in your head!!!

 

That's what happens when you're sitting in a hotel in Beijing with nothing to do until tomorrow's business meetings. I've done all the tourist stuff for the day and I have turned down my Chinese business partners invite to dinner upon a written request from my liver. I'll be back in the Republiek on Friday and then I can ride my bike. Until then my schedule is quite full so you need not worry too much about having to read the rants of a delusional man.

[Guest Oom Kalahari!]

 

That's what happens when you're sitting in a hotel in Beijing with nothing to do until tomorrow's business meetings. I've done all the tourist stuff for the day and I have turned down my Chinese business partners invite to dinner upon a written request from my liver. I'll be back in the Republiek on Friday and then I can ride my bike. Until then my schedule is quite full so you need not worry too much about having to read the rants of a delusional man.

 

Please dont stop writing these crazy ass stories!

['Dale]

Nice.

Thanx for sharing.

[Surv0MTB]

Hahaha love this post.. good monday morning ready