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What's your funniest or scariest (without consequence) incident when riding alone


Blackheart

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Posted

Inspired by Rocket-Boys 'How often do you ride alone' topic.

I though it would be fun to post our funniest or scariest incident when riding alone.

I'd like to keep this light, so no horror stories please.

I'll start:

 

Some years ago in Tokai (when it was still all pine forest) and before I took a cell phone along, I was trying out a Camelbak flash flow - It's a waist hydration pack with a 1,5l bladder designed for runners. I thought it would be cool for shorter fast techy rides.

There used to be 3 small gap jumps about 2/3rds the way down what is now Vasbyt, they were different size gaps, short, medium and longer. Now the sun is going down and the light is flattening out, I'm sending it down the single track and decide, for the first time in my life, to take the long jump. I still have no idea why, as even in full daylight I was barely making the middle one. Of course it all went badly wrong - too fast, weight forward, cased it to the flat on the front wheel. As I hit the ground (eventually) I landed on the back of my pelvis and heard a loud Crack! together with a shooting pain up my spine. Lying there winded, doing the post crash check - toes wiggle - feet move - etc, ect I'm just dreading what a cracked pelvis is going to feel like when the adrenaline wears off, and how I'm going to make it back to the car park carrying a broken bike. I reach around to feel the swelling I find  a waist strap buckle split right in half.....Later in the bath I notice on the back of my right hip in the centre of a growing purple bruise, the perfect imprint of a belt buckle. You could even read the Camelbak branding.

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Posted

Getting zapped by an electric cattle fence on the back of my sweat soaked head while taking a lunch break during a 5 hr LSD ride 

 

Was a really hot day and I sat down in the shade and took my helmet off.... leant back a little bit without realizing how close the fence was and next second it felt like someone hit me with a pick handle on the back of my head

Posted

Getting zapped by an electric cattle fence on the back of my sweat soaked head while taking a lunch break during a 5 hr LSD ride 

 

Was a really hot day and I sat down in the shade and took my helmet off.... leant back a little bit without realizing how close the fence was and next second it felt like someone hit me with a pick handle on the back of my head

 

You ride on LSD??? :eek: :whistling:

Posted

The legavaan (aka monitor lizard) i nearly rode over at Northern Farm down near the single track along the river near the airport? 

 

No one believed me..

 

But still the best was Calverton up near Lydenberg one December. Riding up a hill in thick mist and quiet way out far in the fly fishing estates - quiet, misty, damp etc. You get the idea. On your own. Just you - and the bike.

 

Or so i thought....

 

Something cat like and big (about medium sized dog) shoots out of the forest on my right. First thought is i am under attack by a leopard.

 

I was screaming like a girl - i completely sh@t myself. I shot off up the rode like a man possessed of great energy - as my life was in peril, Only to see it in he background vanishing in the opposite direction in as great a hurry. It was a Cerval or Rooikat. And in a hurry to get away as well.

 

I went up about 50m past where it happened to an opening next to a dam where this guy is fishing (early morning). He saw it all happen and is pissing himself laughing at me.

 

I was literally shaking from the adrenaline in my system and mostly a gibbering idiot. But now i had to act cool and calm - which wasn't possible.

 

Since that day i always go in to bushes and paths expecting something to jump out at me.....

Posted

I bumped into a leopard once at the top of Jonkershoek. Nothing like your experience above.

 

I was riding alone on a cool, misty, drizzly winter morning and got right up to the top waterfall crossing. Just before the river crossing on that steep bit, I came around a corner and there was a leopard sitting in the path. The first thing that went through my mind was "Cool, a leopard" and I stopped. 

 

So there I was standing 5m from a leopard, that was just sitting on its haunches looking at me. It was a beautiful smallish Cape leopard, not a big Kalahari leopard, but it was still a leopard and after a few seconds you do think, what happens if this thing attacks me? The only weapon I have is squirting it in the face with Energade or trying to hide under my bike. 

 

But it was amazing. I started to retreat after about 20-30 seconds and when I moved back a meter or so, it got up calmly and just walked off down through the riverine veg. 

 

Apparently, the wine farms at the top of Hells Hoogte occasionally pick them up on their perimeter security cameras, but I have not seen one again. 

Posted

This: post-24416-1427127547,0014.jpg

 

Doing the oom piet shortcut below nguni loop at Van Gaalens.

Noticed last minute the "stick" is moving and as I swerved it reared.

 

And then virtually on every friggin ride, I catch a glimpse in my peripheral, thinking its some dodgy charachter approaching me... But its normally a shrub, or tree or signpost... A bit paranoid I know, but at least Im prepared 90% of the time I think....

Posted

About 3 or 4 years ago...and I posted the story on the hub...I was riding through the forest and saw a motorbike parked on the side of the forest road...it was almost dark but still visible....so I focused on the bike and tried to work out who it belonged to, until I saw movement to the right ahead...as I neared..I noticed the movement was very pink in color and very quickly realised that before my eyes were 2 people...she was propping up the tree with both hands and he was inspecting the tree from behind her...although I couldn't for the life of me understand why they were both buck naked! Anyway. When I shouted the requisite "hey! What you doing" she stopped propping up the tree..looked up and I was treated to two boobs a bobbing. They made a feeble effort to cover up..but being naked made that quite difficult. Luckily for them I was gone in a flesh...I mean flash

Posted

Slightly off the title (because there was a consequence, but still amusing to look back on)

 

Back in April 2011 I bought a shiny new hard tail mountain bike. 

Made the purchase on the Saturday, but just before the store closed, so they asked if I would mind collecting on Sunday. Of course nobody wants to wait, but I agreed.

Sunday comes, I collect the new toy, and it is pouring with rain, so I don't get to  ride it.

Monday and Tuesday I have no chance to ride, but now I am itching.

Wednesday I decide, "to hell with this, I'm leaving the office early to go ride".

I get home nice and early, pull on all my kit and hop on the bike.

I'm just having a relaxing ride getting acquainted with the bike, and am riding next to the road. I go over a mound of dirt, no exaggeration, maybe 10cm high, but it drops a little on the other side and is right next to the paving of the exit to the Engen garage, so, I peg the front wheel and go over the bars, and come down on my elbow. I'm on my back, bike on top of me, trying to get uncleated, and I realise that all the petrol attendants are staring at me, so, I am up in record time,cut up and bleeding, but because the adrenaline is flowing, the only thing I notice at this point is my bruised ego and I ride home in record time.

 

Turns out I broke my elbow in 3 places, and it took them 6 days to work that out, but that is a whole other story...;)

Posted

There's this dude I call phantom Andy at Modderfontein , black and white kit, looks like Andy schlek. I'm convinced he's a ghost or something. Whenever I'm on my own around the forest section, I'll hear rustling and he'll be there , but he never comes past and I just catch glimpses of him.

I swear I'm not smoking any weird stuff.

Posted

Cruising along in cradle one day alone at about 30kph, I saw a nice thick peice of brown rope lying accross the width of bicyle lane.

 

I started veering right to go past it and as I got about 5m away I saw it was in fact not a rope, but a massive brown snake, and it was heading in the same direction as me left to right across the road.  I saw a gap on the left (at the end where there are no fangs) and so at the last second swerved left to pass it on the left, only he had seen me coming and decided to make a u-turn and bolt back to the grass where he had come from at the same time that I was passing.

 

Missed it (now the fanged-side) by millimetres and had little scream inside.  Hit a few strava PBs on the ride home.

 

No idea what it was, except that it was dark brown and about 2m long.   Could have been harmless, equally a black mamba...

Posted

It's the chemicals in the water from the factories at Modders ;)

Hahaa must be. Or maybe my guardian angel is a cyclist with a penchant for Lycra. :D

Posted

The legavaan (aka monitor lizard) i nearly rode over at Northern Farm down near the single track along the river near the airport? 

 

No one believed me..

 ...

hahahah you just reminded me and I do believe you.

 

A number of years ago a mate and I were riding past one of the dams. The next minute one of the slithered into the water.

 

My mate who is a fairly large guy rode so fast I couldn't catch him. He thought it was a crocodile!,,,

Posted

Getting zapped by an electric cattle fence on the back of my sweat soaked head while taking a lunch break during a 5 hr LSD ride

 

Was a really hot day and I sat down in the shade and took my helmet off.... leant back a little bit without realizing how close the fence was and next second it felt like someone hit me with a pick handle on the back of my head

 

A-haaaaa.........that instant "Klem-in-die-Kaak" experience.........and then you have to check your panty just to make sure everything is in order.

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