Should I be worried

[DMD 1]

I have a big moral dilemma. My wife has recently started cycling which is great. However she now wants to do the fun rides etc also great but here is the catch she wants me to do them with her.

 

We did the Buffet Olives festival 25km ride together. I was promised many noddy points for doing the ride together. However as I am a tad fitter than her on the bike I was riding with her and not showing any signs of exertion much to the wife’s annoyance. I even had the middle finger displayed in my general direction. I did warn the wife that the ride was 14km of hills then 11km of downhill with very little flat sections. True to form she bitched like a girl. I tried my best to encourage her

 

I stopped to help some youngsters fix a broken chain and give them my chain link. I even had to install it for them. I was glad to help them but at the same told them to get some spares and be prepared next time. After helping the youngsters I started to shunt it to catch up to my wife who had gone ahead of me. Well I never caught her as she seems to enjoy the down hills and is not a powder puff fairy when it comes to single track and down hills.

 

She finished 9th out of about 45 ladies. I was hugely proud of her . And yes she did beat me.

 

Now the question is how much do I encourage her? Am I expected to do all the fun rides with her and in her distance capabilities? Who gets to baby sit the kids on the Sunday am ride time and who gets to ride.

[dee_biker]

You'd better hope she's not a hubber and reads this post... Then you'll have bigger problems than an unfit wiff.

Edited November 1, 2010 by dee_biker

[Caerus]

She is being selfish in my books if she expects you to always ride with her, pick the rides that you could do together rather, not the ones where you know you want to cane it. My wife has also started, I think I'll do a couple short race rides with her first, just so she has that confidence too, after that youre on your own. Ive also introduced her to some other girl riders too, that will help out. A woman can always get away with playing dumb ans getting someone to help fix something if need be, at the end of the day she is an adult, kids ride the short races on their own

Edited November 1, 2010 by Caerus

[Tiny K]

Tough choices there DMD 1.

 

My missus has started doing road with me and I get the same thing - she actually swears at me if I try to encourage her. As far as she is concerned, I am there as company and I must keep quiet. True, she is unfit but up until now she hasn't done any fun rides yet, luckily no kiddies yet because that would be a fight to the finish about who is riding and who is not. I think that by doing road riding the dynamic is a little bit different.

 

I did tell her one thing though - I will do the first short route fun ride with her but after that she is on her own. I also need to break a sweat on my rides.

 

Good on you for helping the lil guys out and in turn also allowing her to ride alone so that it builds her confidence too

 

Good luck with sorting out the babysitting issue

[Skirminkel]

All is fair in love and warcycling. Tell her not to race you but rather the other lady riders, maybe that will shift the focus from you.

[Thor Buttox]

Get a group of mates for a social ride with their missuses and let her find company through them, or by chatting to other ladies in the races themselves. You will find she suddenly does not need your over-ambitious, competitive nonsense anymore. (Or she'll start beating you...)

 

Strange how once men would have been pulled up the hill in a golden chariot, and now it's all come to this.

[Harry Potter]

You got the bird because you were at her

[kennyg]

Dude.... I got the same problem...

 

Encourage her but unless she is going to go big, I advise, go to races together, do the odd training ride together. But racing for you will become hugely frustrating. If you carry on to race with her.

 

I ride loops when she comes with me, We ride together, MTB, do a 30 km MTB, especially if we go somewhere decent. I chuck my road bike in the car, and ride it home for the extra kms, usually another 40 kms or so.

[Caerus]

All is fair in love and warcycling. Tell her not to race you but rather the other lady riders, maybe that will shift the focus from you.

 

 

Well put.

[Caerus]

You got the bird because you were at her

 

 

lol, that took ages to work out what you were trying to say .

[Harry Potter]

lol, that took ages to work out what you were trying to say .

glad you got it

[iRob]

If she was 9th was she the lady who left her cycling shirt and gloves at home? Dude she was riding like crazy!

[Caerus]

glad you got it

 

 

[Gregzilla]

I had the same issue, 1st its really great when your wife wants to be part of what you enjoy and maybe she just wants to spend more time with you which is a good thing. So either give up your racing aspirations for now and work on getting your lady fit enough so you can ride at a speed you both enjoy or join a club where she can ride with the slower riders and make friends that can ride the races with her. Or seeing as she wants to spend time with you doing some exercise find another sport that you keep just for the 2 of you like hiking. Marriage is give and take and you cant just take.

[MTB_Roadie]

lol! I have exactly the same problem.....my girlfriend just started...im way faster but she asked to do rides together...so I will be using Temp number, and just support her, but she said she only want to do some rides which is cool...but still fun staring at her behind

[Robrider]

I started my girlfriend riding, and its great now. I used to get very frustrated riding with her, but I split my rides, some days were to ride with her, and others to do my own thing. Also planned long rides which were really tough and fast with guy friends and then on recovery days rode slowly with her. But I never raced with her.

 

Then she got a bee in her bonnet about doing full marathons. So I helped her get to a decent fitness level and raced the first one with her. It pushed her alot, and even though it was a bit boring for me, I was very proud and enjoyed the time with her.

 

Then after a while we decided to do joberg2c together (She never says no to a challenge!). Anyway, did lots of training and loooong distance rides together. Took alot of patience from my side, but she improved so much and really impressed me. We finished joberg2c comfortably (well.. except that one day we spent 11 hours in the saddle). Just doing that training really improved my fitness and pushing her up hills made me strong. I came off that race faster than ever.

 

But always I have told her that I will do some rides with her, and some I will do with out her. I do not race with her, because I just can't take racing slowly, thats just me. I have promised to do another stage race together though.

 

The best part is now. She's tired of always riding with the boys. So she started a group of all the girls, where she takes them slowly and explains each technical section etc. So now there quite alot of girls involved for her to ride with, and all the boys are free to ride as much as they want

 

I dont have kids so I can't comment on that, maybe look for those kiddies bike chairs and take them with but other wise I think its great. Just be honest about what you expect for your self and what you are willing to do with her. Its a bit of a compramise, but look at the bright side.