bikemonster

I know, I told Fruity off for c&p earlier today, and here I am doing it... "Can I draw you a beer, Norm ?" "No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one." "How's a beer sound, Norm?" "I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in." "What's shaking, Norm?" "All four cheeks and a couple of chins." "What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?" "Going Down?" "What's new, Normie?" "Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer." "What'll it be, Normie?" "Just the usual Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel." "What would you say to a beer, Normie?" "Daddy wuvs you." "What'd you like, Normie?" "A reason to live. Give me another beer." "What'll you have, Normie?" "Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap." "Looks like beer, Norm." "Call me Mister Lucky." "What'd you say, Norm?" "Any cheap, tawdry thing that will get me a beer." "What would you say to a beer, Norm?" "Hiya, sailor. New in town?" (Coming in from the rain) "Evening everybody." Everybody: "Norm!" "Still pouring, Norm?" "That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing." "Whaddya say, Norm?" "Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink." "Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?" "Like a baby treats a diaper." "Would you like a beer Mr.. Peterson?" "No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass." "How's life treating you?" "It's not, Sammy, but you can." "What's the story, Mr. Peterson?" "The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending." "Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you." "I know, if she calls, I'm not here." "Beer, Norm?" "Have I gotten that predictable? Good." "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?" "A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here.'" "Hey Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?" "Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?" "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?" "Another layer for the winter, Wood." "Whatcha up to, Norm?" "My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall." "How's it going Mr. Peterson?" "Poor." "I'm sorry to hear that." "No, I mean pour." "How's life treating you, Norm?" "Like it caught me sleeping with its wife." "Women. Can't live with 'em ... pass the beer nuts." "What's going down, Normie?" "My butt cheeks on that bar stool." "Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?" "Alright, but stop me at one....make that one-thirty." "How's it going Mr. Peterson?" "It's a dog eat dog world, Woody and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear. "What's the story, Norm?" "Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer." "How's about a beer, Norm?" "That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!" "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?" "The question is, `what's going 'in' Mr. Peterson?" A beer, please, Woody." "Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?" "A little early isn't it, Woody?" "For a beer?" "No, for stupid questions."

Show me the cyclist with 100% of his weight resting on the top tube. Are these guys sitting cross legged while doing a track stand? Somebody with better trig than me can do the sums, but I'd be surprised if more than say 15% of the guy's weight is being supported by the top tube. There's no problem here folks, nothing to see, move along!

**** no! From the OP, it looks like the kind of bar you see sometimes in the movies, with regulars moping into their glasses and not saying much.

With rules 1 and 2, rule 3 becomes redundant, and so does the need for an age limit.

R12.75. What do I win?

Journo in sloppy journalism shocker!

Dude! That's not Snoopy. That's Joe Cool!

Enormous Peanuts fan that I am, it does appear that the gang ride without crash hats... http://www.gasolinealleyantiques.com/cartoon/images/Snoopy/peanuts-bicyclemug.JPG

Looks like "please call me". I'd be nervous of using that in Cape Town urban environs.

Ironically, travelling at the same speed as the traffic around him prolly makes him safer, not less safe. Now, consider your reaction at being called out by somebody from a different "group" to your own for some minor infraction. Let's say a motorcyclist pulls up next to you at a set of lights and says, politely, "Hey bud! Do you realise you were driving 65 in a 60 zone back there? Please desist from such reckless behaviour!" My guess is you wouldn't like it, and you wouldn't like it and you'd dismiss the biker. Now, the lidless cyclist did exactly that. My guess, to complete my Psychic Dr Phil routine, is that what really p!ssed you off is that the cyclist was somewhat uncouth in his reaction to your wife, although I maintain his reaction (if not the uncouthness) was perfectly normal.

Quite right! So I'll ask it: OP: Could you post a pic of your wife on the couch? (Helmet optional.)

Pffft! Anybody who rides a bicycle out of doors is taking a risk. Strapping a styrofoam spanspek shell onto your pip is not going to make a large difference to the level of risk...although it may make a large difference to the perceived level of risk, which is another story entirely.

That's what I figured. So why, and again, I am interested to know why, not setting you up for a kicking, do you (or your wife) shout instructions at a random lidless cyclist?

To the OP, do you engage in any of the following: * Tell people in the traffic that they should wear their seat belt? * Engage people with projectiles un-seatbelted children in their car? * Tell people leaving restaurants/bars/clubs that they are in no condition to drive? I'm guessing not. In which case, I have to ask the question, why not? These are all behaviours which entail far more risk than a pedal through the burbs with the wind blowing through where one's hair used to be. If you respond, do not get defensive, I am not engaging in name calling, merely asking the question.

Hello My Imaginary Friends This morning on Cape Talk a caller said that he had collected the bike of a ladyperson who had been blown off her bike by the wind last week. A passerby had stopped to help, and take the fallen ladyperson off for medical attention. Nobody had contacted the caller to claim the bike. If 'twas you, or if you know a ladyperson cyclist who was taken off for patching up last week, get in touch with Cape Talk to get the bike back.

That is gorgeous...now stop being a tease and erm, keit your (bike) kit on (the Hub)!

There's something about this in the rules. Apparently you aren't allowed to use a bike in a foot race. No, not even a 29er, even though everybody knows that 29ers are slower*. * Or perhaps faster. I forget.

Last year my son was 6 and insisted on riding the 10km. He didn't need any special training - if your littlie can ride his bike in the quiet streets around your neighbourhood for a 20 minute ride, then 5km won't pose any prob. If all else fails, you could always ride in large circles in the open car park near Ratanga on an evening.

I suspect that you would end up with more rake, and therefore a more "relaxed" effective head tube angle. But I reserve the right to be completely and spectacularly wrong.

Cyclefunatic?

I think I see where I've been going wrong.

Naaiiisss!

Look, whatever works for you, but I'da thunk you'd be even quicker if you weren't high.

Do you know what he'll be driving? I'll try and watch out for him.

1997 called. They say they want their biltong back.