Here is what he wrote... Pesky Cyclists 17 May 2012, 07:13 It is time to tax cycling. And I don’t mean some small disk that gets strapped to the handlebars, I am talking full on vehicle number plates, front and back. That way we can police these road criminals in a way that adds to the national fiscus. Surely, if you want to use our tax-funded roads, then you should pay for them like everybody else? The rot, of course, started with Lance Armstrong. Suddenly everyone thought they could become a testosterone-fueled cannon ball in a yellow jersey. Pre-Armstrong, cyclists were a simple but friendly folk, few and far between. They were amiable Sunday riders who knew their place, and it wasn’t three abreast down Lakeside Main Road. Post-Armstrong their psyche changed overnight. God, how they make my blood boil! How many times have I been tempted to nudge one of them off his silly little spinning machine and into a bush? Goodness knows how many cyclists have had their lives spared thanks to my magnanimous restraint. Quite frankly, I don’t know how far my benevolence can be stretched. . . Of course those peninsula cycling races only make things worse by encouraging the scourge. Try driving down the M3 freeway two weeks before a race and spot the crazies riding alongside motor vehicles traveling at 120 km. Are you now Evel Knievel? I am not saying bicycles don’t have their place, its just that the best place for them is the playground. I can safely assume that most cyclists suffer from a stunted childhood because I’ve spotted them riding 120km long races on one of those funny clown bikes. Or pedaling strange machines with their arms. Or wearing a Barney suit and ringing a bell. I suppose its cute to play in the traffic? And I don’t buy that mountain bike ruse. Soil erosion in Tokai Forest is now reaching epidemic proportions thanks to the cycle tracks carved into our national parks. And if you are wondering why troops of baboons are desperately roaming the suburbs its because they have been scared out of their natural habitat by those two wheeled fiends. But its air pollution I am truly worried about. It takes just two cyclists riding abreast to hold up a whole snake of cars, forcing them to burn more fuel while driving in a lower gear. It is this type of thoughtless, selfish behaviour that leads me to think that cyclists need have their wings clipped.