New Landy new life

That is the requirements for Flats nowadays and my wife does not have the money. She has told the Mediator to subtract this from the final amount taken from my Pension (Plus Interest) but it does affect cash flow in the mean time for me.

Lekker sore from the Triathlon Yesterday after doing the 99'er Road Race on Saturday aswell. Did it in 2h23 and young Richard Murray does it in 52 Minutes - mind blowing, but chin up, I'm not a professional athlete I tell myself. Anyway, otherwise just wading through the fog that is left back home and trying to find a way to pay money for my Son's studies and two month rent deposit, otherwise I will never get rid of my wife from my house to be able to carry on. Not sure yet how to manage this.

Thanks oaks - really appretiate the well wishes. It helps get the mood up again

Haven't had a drink in quite a while - don't have the time between work and chores to go to a bottlestore and I have no craving for it.

Did something crazy, went to late entries and joined this for tomorrow. Hope the legs have enogh in the tank after todays race. Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Hard day today emotionally - came back from 99'er Race to see her packing all her stuff in boxes. Nearly shed a tear, sitting on my keyboard now. The up's and down's of a divorce - not nice.

Enjoy. They are special little creatures, girls. Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

She said she is going to put it straight into her pension fund, but based on past experience I am sure she will keep a chunk for now. Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Got the settlement figures yesterday. The pension was a big eina pain. Wife's eyes lit up like floodlamps. Never dreamed that such a huge amount that I have been squirreling away since age 23 would just vanish in a flash. Had my work pension + a private one so i could retire early. I will now contact a lawyer to run through the calcs and maintenance figures to see if indeed fair. Mediator did say nowadays couples exclude pensions in their ANC contracts - s$!t. Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

I think my mental health will be ok. I am a strong bugger in that department and have God on my side too. Just need to get involved in some social groups as far as cycling/hiking/triathlon so I can get to meet more people and start new friendship groups. I am sure that will help the healing process.

Yep, plan to Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Hey Guys Wife dissappeared to her Friend for the whole weekend so was at least peacefull. Spent Saturday early am on a 5 hour cycle on the MTB in a crazy wind half road/offroad and got blown off the path/road a good few times but great training with 1,800 m gain. Rest of the day spent with my Son and Sunday took him and his mate to an Antique Car show and then met My daughter later at the Beach - was really nice spending time all together. That's about it, soon as wife got back the tension rises and I just go to my room and watch movies on the Laptop. (sound like a teenager) on Wednesday we are back at the mediator to discuss finances for my Son and whatever else needs finalising so we can hopefully agree. My old man suggested I take the final offer/agreement to another independent lawyer just to make sure it is in my best interest.

Thanks boet. Just been chatting to the wife about the splitting off all the bits and pieces and the deposit for renting her a place - still tugs at the heart to see no emotion or regret in her demeanor.

It started out as an information gathering excercise, but as the heart ache started to happen I found this thread a great place to get a little comfort and great advice. I guess playing open cards is best so those in similar situations can get a first hand account of what can happen when you stop showing love to your partner. They seem to work on more of an emotional level than us men who can take a lot of abuse before we break. Hope not to have ruined anybody's prospects but rathe forewarned.

So we had a pretty peacefull mediation where Ashley explained the process and we pretty much agreed to doing it without much fighting. She was a little surprised I offered to give my wife her car that I bought her and not dispute that at all. - I feel sorry for her and don't want to be spitefull. Pension unfortunatley will be pretty much carved up as a percentage of salary and starting off estate values in our ANC contract but she says that is goverened by law and nothing can be changed by that. Only the maintenace may get ugly as I explained that my wife had chosen how much she spends on my son's Sport and that is a huge figure and is why we both have no money to our names - I only found out this value a few days ago. This is one of the reason's we are getting divorced in the first place as I dissagreed about 10 years ago as to how much time they were spending in his sport as we could not afford it. She has also rung up a big debt again on some loan shark account! Anyway, I think there may be some quarrels to come when Ashley does her calculations. Night folks

It's going to be a learning curve for me but I just hope the mediator is experienced enough to guide us both through the process so that it is a fair settlement for all

Well the mediator is a lawyer as far as I know but she tries to reach the agreement for both parties. Myles Mayhew went to her and seems to have gotten out OK.

We had a long chat Monday night eventually and I can see she got badly hurt along the way and really has made her mind up. We agreed on what we were going to split as far as household contents, but when it came to discuss who was going to pay for what, it got a little heated as she wants me to maintain her old lifestlye because she earns so much less than me. I reminded her about the many times I haf to use my life sacvings to clear the debt she had run up and the trips overseas with my son because of his sport while I never had those luxuaries and always stayed home grafting hard. Anyway, I hope the mediator will be fair to us both, if not we are going to each have to lawyer up and that will drag on as we are both pretty broke. Just wanted to vent a little - hope you guys don't mind.

Eish - she came back last night - "Hi" was all I got and then off to the spare room and havent seen her again. Did a lekka 50 km at Bottelary early am and off with a friend to the Parlotones this evening - all strong so far

We are seing Ashley on Wednesday funny enough.

Thanks Patch - doing ok mate. I am getting used to the fact that it's overs and busy carrying on finding myself so to speak, and I enjoy my own company so must be an OK bloke. I went some time back for one of those psychologic tests that my COO requested and one of the points that came back said I was hell of a resiliant, probably due to a pretty strict upbrining.. That seems to be helping me survive and it seems in my head now that I am moving on. Not sure what will happen when she returns tomorrow but I am going to be strong for myself.

Hope we have the same quick result. Strongs to you mate. Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

One day you will need to explain that part to me - 22 years off the horse so where to start looking ?

Man I am getting fit, rode with two mates this evening and they were holding me back.(toatally opposite to normal) Feels great

good plan Intern - wish I had heeded my warning signs instead of being stuborn and thinking she would eventually come to see my point of view