New Landy new life

Just on a more pratical question: How to cope with cooking and chores ! I am now spending an awfull lot of time doing that and less time for my sports etc. I suppose I can get a domestic for once a week clean up, but the cooking something healthy and shopping is a real p.i.t.a. What is the most efficient way of doing the above now. Edit: Case in point is below mush I just made and have to force myself to eat as it's vegetable matter.

Thanks for the advice Paul. I am now dreading next weekend when she returns home and tips my world upside down again. We have to go see a lawyer(mediator) together before we plan the exit stratergy and where she will stay etc. Some of my mates have been great and been inviting me over to chat and eat a decent meal but one still goes home to an empty place at the end of it all.

Rode my Bike and went for a swim - stayed well away from any bottles.

22 years today, eina pain day ahead. Time for a ride. Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

I must concur that it really means a lot for me that so many of you oaks have been encouraging to us in amongst all the advice. Especially since I have been basically all alone at home for so many weeks since returning from Nigeria of all places and not having seen my son in over a month and a bit now. Thanks a lot guys, makes it so much easier to bear those lonely patches.

Also sorry to hear Surfer - seems we have the same storey as to what went wrong, almost carbon copy on my side aswell and also suspect a boyfriend on the wifes side somewhere along the road and now again. Shout if you ever feel like going for a MTB some time if you want a chat or just ride ?

I did not loose my dignity in the process yet, I just calmly asked for a reconsideration and have not asked since. Now we are only talking about alternate accomodatiion at the moment as she is luckily still up country and out of site and out of mind.

Was that tongue in cheek or genuine offer ? If it is that is really cool of you - may take you up on that one day when I start coming back to life again.

Started off with a series III (1973) which was great - learned everything mechanical on it - rebuilt motor myself and we had many good memories in that for a number of years. Eventually sold it as I had no more time for it. Also had the 2008 Defender Puma 2.4 - that was a brilliant motor but I also had to sell that for financial reasons after 4 years. I will always be a landy man, once bitten you never go back - have a Toyota bakkie for work and I hate this thing - suspension is so hard and the thing has no character. This divorce is going to cost me a lot so no Landy on the horizon for now

Yes, good advice - door locked shut and welded closed for good measure and will not be opened again.

Pretty well at the moment - thanks for asking. Went for an 80 km road ride around the Cape Peninsula this am with a mate so the spirits are up at present. Weather was glorious and windstill. Tried a couple times calling the wife to ask for a second chance but door was firmly shut. Oh well - time to move on gently.

Thanks Help and Honkdonk I have two mates that I cycle with but they are both married so we don't do anything other than cycle together once or twice a week as they have their own family commitments. Guess I Will have to find a new MTB group to join with more cycling time available.

My chin may seem up but it is definitely not - I do wish for a glimmer of hope, but I can tell from the lack of communication from my Wife that here is no glimmer after all. I am starting to accept the fact that she has decided it is over - I am just so heart broken I can hardly concentrate at work. Thanks lad's for the offer's

Thanks but not yet mate. Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Thanks boet - really hard morning so far - doing laundry and even went to Church to ask for some help from above

I have my folks here in town so going to them tomorrow with my boet but thanks for the concern. After a couple beers life is ok now as well as smile 90.4 radio with tunes from the good old 80's Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Don't think his will has any relevance as any inheritance remains our own according to the marriage contract Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

I am not sure of the legal terminology of my ANC, but all I know is that what we came into the marriage with and what we inherit remains our own, but anything we bought while married gets split. Marrying at 24 we did not have much except a small car each. I don't plan on chasing the ladies no, not for now, but it has been lonely without and if something comes up, I may see what happens gently. I had the snip at 29 y.o when I was done with our two kid's so definitely no more offspring.

Just some advice based on what went wrong with me, don't try be too demanding on how things should be or how the kid's get raised. Go easy on wife and kids and join in with everything that they enjoy and don't try make them always follow the way you see the world and how things should be according to the way you may have been raised. I have learnt the very hard way. Never go to sleep angry either.

Thanks, it is really tough as I came back from 3 weeks hard graft in Nigeria to an empty house, The wife took my son and went up country to her folks for Christmas so I am stuck here by myself and that make's it even worse. Went for a nice walk up Table Mountain to clear my head a little, but as soon as you slow down the pain comes back.

Assets are minimal and liabilities none luckily but we have always lived modest lives

I see, yes we are in no fighting mood and I am always a fair person so will give what I can if she remains reasonable as she was when married.

Thanks Philip - will do so Anyone that can recommend a divorce lawyer will be appreciated

So after 21 years my wife has had enough and asked to leave me and will not give an option of counselling at all. We both work but she earns not too much as a nurse working 7 to 13h00 every day at the moment which I assume she will have to work more hours in future. Been looking on YouTube for advice on how to go about it and the divorce rules but not enough info there. Just a few questions maybe some of you can answer. If we agree on who get's what inside the house as well as a car I bought her, can you go via one of these online type lawyers and if so which one for Cape Town would you recommend. We only have 1 kid left in the house at 17 y.o so I assume I carry on paying his schooling fully myself. I wouldn't try shirk that in any-case. At present I rent one of my old-man's houses with the agreed aim to inherit the house when he passes so, because we are married with an ANC contract which specified inheritances remained our own if we should split that my wife should move out as it would be too difficult for her to maintain the property and pool etc. in any-case. I assume both our pension funds will be split down the middle with the bulk being mine will go to her ? Do I need to maintain her lifestyle the same as before as well or only the Kid ? Do I need to find and pay full rental on a small pad for her and my son, or does she have to contribute ? Is it best to speak to a divorce lawyer just for a consultation or can I just use the online type. Really was a hard pill to swallow today as I still love this lady I married but it has been a bumpy ride the last 7 years or so, lot of both our faults going to bed angry instead of resolving and both of us are very stubborn. Anyway - would appreciate some constructive practical advice. P.S - Do I need to now start a new circle of friends from scratch due to one's common married friends - what did you guys do ? (46 years old)

Wondering what progress you guys are making on the building front ? Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk