As humans, we naturally feel different things after something like yesterday. I suppose the five/seven stages of loss could come into it, especially for those who had an extra special reason to race this year. A 10th or 21st Argus, a ride with family who aren’t likely to be in the same town at the same time next year, a special trip from Europe (or further). Of course it’s heartbreaking and depressing (and an enormous waste of money) for those riders who travelled from overseas. Even for us ‘locals’, this weekend was rather expensive holiday that we probably wouldn’t have otherwise taken. For me, relief. Not the relief that I didn’t have to battle in those conditions for 109km, but the relief that the sub-3 monkey gorilla is off my back for the next year. It was doable this year, but from 1G I knew I had to finish in the top 5% (of my group and my age category). That was always going to be 50/50 and down to a combo of decisions on the day and luck. In Sunday's conditions, my chance was far closer to zero. The pressure – mostly self-created in my head – had become that gorilla. Training had gone well but, as ever, I found myself dwelling on all the times I could’ve done more, the midweek rides and spinning classes I skipped. Guilt during rest weekends. One too many beers on a Friday. In the (mostly solo) ride out to Hout Bay and back before 8 yesterday, I found myself really enjoying cycling again for the first time this year. The cancellation was so utterly anti-climatic - it happened with barely a whimper. Here’s to next year. And that bloody sub-3 (and the treat of a (legal) second lap so I can actually enjoy the atmosphere in what must surely be one of the most beautiful races in the world). Every single one of you who are threatening to skip/boycott next year will be back. And deep down you know it. You’re just stuck in the whole ‘denial’ thing...
