Eugene Oppelt Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Jens Voigt doesn't complain about what suffering does to him, but suffering constantly complains about getting picked on by Jens Voigt.
Eugene Oppelt Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Jens Voigt is unable to use the internet because he is constantly dropping his connection. JGR 1
Eugene Oppelt Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Jens Voigt once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him stop pedaling for a few seconds.
Eugene Oppelt Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Jens no longer has a shadow because he dropped it repeatedly until it climbed into the team car claiming a stomach ailment and retired. slowpoke 1
Eugene Oppelt Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Domestiques try to see how many bottles they can carry back from the team car. Jens Voigt tries to see how many team cars he can carry back to the peloton.
Eugene Oppelt Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Jens Voigt will never have a heart attack. Jens Voigt's heart isn't stupid enough to attack him.
Eugene Oppelt Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Movistar is happy to see Voigt go on alone, as he is no threat to any of their goals. They have let him build up a 2:31 gap now.
Eugene Oppelt Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Gilbert and van Garderen, both BMC, have jumped from the peloton in pursuit of Voigt and the former lead group.
Eugene Oppelt Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Jens Voigt crashed spectacularly during the 2009 Tour de France. The resulting impact created a mound of earth that is visible to this day. It is called "Col du Tourmalet".
Eugene Oppelt Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 You are what you eat. Jens Voigt eats spring steel for breakfast, fire for lunch, and a mixture of titanium and carbon fiber for dinner. For between-meal snacks he eats men's souls, and downs it with a tall cool glass of The Milk of Human Suffering.
Eugene Oppelt Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. Chuck Norris wears Jens Voigt pajamas. slowpoke 1
Eugene Oppelt Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Voigt is past the mid-way point on the Mont Revard. He leads the peloton by 3:20. 51 kms to go
Stretch Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 The yellow (Froome) and white (Quintana) jersey is higher in the order of things.The next best rider will earn the jersey. Right now, Nieve and Rolland are contesting.I think the one that takes the final climb will earn the polka dotted jersey. i thought they still got credited with it at the end of the day even if they have won the yellow or white...for example merckx has won overall, points and kom all in one before?
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