What I said, but not what I meant; how could it be misinterpreted by someone else?

[Frosty]

A spin off from the now derailed Olympic 2020 - Cycling thread, it's ironic that a podcast about sarcasm popped up in my feed earlier. Slightly digressing from the gender-insulting comments, but more about the thread title.
https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-stuff-you-should-know-26940277/

When it comes to irony vs. sarcasm, it’s hard to see the difference between these two terms. However, irony is the opposite of what you would expect. Sarcasm, on the other hand, has a condescending tone meant to embarrass or insult someone. Therefore, the negativity in sarcasm is the clear difference. But, it’s not the only one. Break down irony vs. sarcasm to see the differences between them.

A google search returns this:

• Verbal Irony - Mother saying, ‘I quite enjoy muddy paw prints on my new white carpet.’
• Sarcasm - Mother-in-law saying to that same mother, ‘White was a fabulous choice for your new carpet. It goes great with 2 kids and 3 dogs.’

Source:  https://grammar.yourdictionary.com/vs/irony-vs-sarcasm-types-and-differences.html

How do I stop being a box and learn to be less sarcastic?
9 reasons  to put the sarcasm aside.
https://modernmrsdarcy.com/you-can-kick-the-sarcastic-habit/

1. Sarcasm is ambiguous.
   Sarcasm depends heavily on tone of voice, body language and other nonverbal cues to be properly understood. The true meaning of a sarcastic message is easily lost over the phone–and you can forget about sarcastic comments being properly understood in written communication. Sarcasm often goes unnoticed without the change in inflection or raised eyebrow to signal its presence. And if you miss those cues, sarcastic remarks don’t make any sense.
    
2. Sarcasm translates poorly.
   English second language (ESL) teachers are taught to never use sarcasm:  it’s just not understood by their students.
    
3. Sarcasm is a defense mechanism.
   It’s not a very good one, because of the inherent negative nature of sarcasm. If you need a positive defense mechanism, make it laughter.  (Just make sure it’s friendly laughter.)
    
4. Sarcasm is cynical.
   Do you want to be known as a person who is “scornfully and habitually negative”? That’s the dictionary definition of a cynic. Sarcasm is both a product and reinforcer of negative thinking. Find some happier thoughts. Don’t wallow in negativity.
    
5. Sarcasm is mean.
   The element of humor takes the edge off a bit, but sarcasm is often used to veil truly hurtful criticism. Don’t be a bully; drop the sarcasm.
    
6. Sarcasm is for cowards.
   The touch of humor in sarcastic comments can hide criticisms far too aggressive to be spoken plainly. If you can’t bring yourself to directly say what you really mean, you shouldn’t say it at all.
    
7. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.
   …according to Oscar Wilde. Take Emily Post’s advice instead: “As a possession for either man or woman, a ready smile is more valuable in life than a ready wit.”
    
8. Sarcasm is a means of judging others.
   Do you really need to belittle others to make yourself look better? Don’t be the jerk with the superiority complex. Use kind words instead.
    
9. Sarcasm wastes words that could be put to better use.
   Kind words are the best thing we can give another person. Sarcasm trades kindness for cruelty. It serves no higher purpose; it builds no one up.

[cfcjim]

Interesting treatise.

I disagree with quite a bit as there's a lot of inferred detail and opinion in the sarcasm points, but they have certainly have merit if the point is "Just try to be nicer".

As an adjunct, litotes is often mistaken for sarcasm, as is its (litotes) opposite hyperbole, especially in the written form.

It's so pleasing to see there's no Alanis Morrisette completely misunderstanding the meaning of irony quotes in your points. <not sarcasm by the way.

[Patensie]

14 hours ago, Frosty said:

 

7. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.
…according to Oscar Wilde. Take Emily Post’s advice instead: “As a possession for either man or woman, a ready smile is more valuable in life than a ready wit.”

At least it's a form of wit...????

oops ???? 

[Gr3mlin131]

Quote

Tact is only for people who are not witty enough to be sarcastic - Some guy probably

But I do agree that in anything written you should try to be as clear as possible. If something can be misuderstood, there will be someone that inteprets it that way and gets offended. 

[Mountain Bru]

It would be easier to sift the salt out of the ocean with a fork than get sarcasm off the internet. 

Is that irony? Or sarcasm? Or litotes? Or hyperbole? I have no idea. But sarcasm on the internet is here to stay. Gotta either deal with that, or get used to being offended, or stay off the internet. 

I'm not advocating for sarcasm. I'm advocating for not being easily offended, not being super sensitive to what people say (especially on the internet), and remembering that not everyone is like you and doesn't see things the way you do, and that it's not your job to fix everyone to make them see things your way. 

I think if the general message in society was "some people are tools, ignore them, and carry on with your own life", rather than "some people are tools, and they shouldn't be, so you're entitled to feel offended", our society would be far more mentally healthy. If your perspective on life is that people must be nice to you, and only do and say things you agree with, I think life is gonna be really hard.   

Again... Not advocating for sarcasm or rudeness or any other way of speaking to people that devalues someone for whatever reason. Personally, I've seen how harmful sarcasm can be in relationships, so I try and avoid it. But at the same time, if you want to be sarcastic with me, I'm not gonna get offended with you. And if you want to be a tool towards me on an internet forum, I'm not gonna report you or get hurt or mad. I'll just think to myself "wow that guy is a box", and then carry on with my life.