Cycling related funny comments while riding

[Chrispy]

Me and my training partner(now living in Aus) were doing the Cape Cobra a couple of years ago. We were busy crawling up Old Kaapseweg to the finish when we heard a squeeking noise from behind. So my buddy says "Must be the guy's legs squeeking".

The Squeeking Leg rider rides up next to him and says:"It is my leg, Have a look".The guy had a metal prosthesis from the knee down.

Wish you could have seen my buddies face - Priceless!

[martelpypie]

The other day in a very muddy mtb race, i caught up to a chap and he said - "this mud is just like a lusty woman, its wet, slippery and dirty" 

[TheLegend]

I was riding in a MTB race.  We were on some singletrack going downhill so were moving at quite a speed.  There was a deep rut running parallel to the singletrack and near the end the track became quite sandy.  I hit the sand at speed and as I was losing control of my bike and getting closer to falling into the rut I shouted "****Me!!"... (understand I was in a state of complete panic )

 

Without hesitation the guy riding behind me shouts "Yes please!"

 

 

ha, and you tell me you are reluctant when it comes to quickies...

[turtlek]

this was told by a guy who was training a new guy to work in the bike shop while they had a very blunt and to the point customer who had bought a bike in the previous week

 

 

 

so joe, werner and marinus are standing at the counter chatting about joe's new raleigh and werner asks joe how the new bike rides

 

 

 

Joe says "jeez boet hierdie fiets is so vinnig dit maak my voorvel kielie my p##P hol

 

 

 

and they all burst out in laughter....

 

 

 

not long after the laughter has died down a young couple walks in looking at the same model of bike joe has just bought and seing as werner is training marinus he decides to let marinus fly solo with this one!!!! (big mistake)

 

 

 

as marinus walks over he gets asked by the young guy who is absolutely dead keen on buying the bike, how much faster will the bike make me in the argus??

 

 

 

So marinus in his wisdom quotes joe and says OOM die fiets is soooo vinnig as jy ry jou voorvel sal jou p##phol kielie And bursts out in a loud laugh for the whole shopping centre to hear

 

 

 

The couple hastily exits looking disgusted and absolutely shocked..

 

 

 

When marinus gets back to the counter werner and joe ask him what he thinks a voorvel is

 

 

 

To which he replies ag man its your forehead you chop

[NotSoBigBen]

I was riding in a MTB race.  We were on some singletrack going downhill so were moving at quite a speed.  There was a deep rut running parallel to the singletrack and near the end the track became quite sandy.  I hit the sand at speed and as I was losing control of my bike and getting closer to falling into the rut I shouted "****Me!!"... (understand I was in a state of complete panic )

 

Without hesitation the guy riding behind me shouts "Yes please!"

 

 

 OK Nance that is appropriate use of said word!

[pixi]

friend of mine...an auditor ,  was looking a second hand bike .... the bike was a large... so he said , and I quote :" this bike wont work because i'm to short between the legs....." unquote. 

[davetapson]

Was at a bike shop down on the garden route waiting to join their club ride. Dude rides up, says to the shop mech his gears aren't shifting properly into highest gear.

 

 

 

Mech fiddles a bit, says 'there you go'. 'What was wrong?' asks dude. 'No, it's your thumbs. They're too short' he says.   Cracked me up, and to this day I (and I suspect bike dude) don't know if he was kidding or not...

[Skye]

I've got the 1st Prize Story, hubby aka windbreaker says if I tell I'll be in the dog box.

 

So my question, to you all is..... Do you reckon it's worth the risk or not?. We do have to Labradors, so the dog box is rather big and they sleep inside so I won't have to share my spot for the night.

 

 

 

[Sammajoor]

 

I've got the 1st Prize Story' date=' hubby aka windbreaker says if I tell I'll be in the dog box.

 

So my question, to you all is..... Do you reckon it's worth the risk or not?. We do have to Labradors, so the dog box is rather big and they sleep inside so I won't have to share my spot for the night.

 

 

 

[/quote']

 

Come on tell us, their must have been a time when you asked him to stay mum, and he blurted it in any way

 

[Skye]

We (about 15 of us) were training for 07 DC. Just before the DC the PPA were putting on a one day stage event, if my memory serves me correctly it was about 180Km can't remember the events name. Needless to say our team manager thought this would be a great event to see if we were ready for the DC. A week leading up to this race the Western Cape got all the rain we could handle. We had our doubts that the event would happen but we all stayed possitive as we were eager to ride. The morning of the event it was a sparrows fart wake up at 3am to travel. It was wet and freezing cold. Hubby says we are to go dressed in kit so we don't need to rush when we get to the event. Am so bloody nervous, I take all the advice I can get.  So here we are all dressed up ready to go, as we are about to get in the car I hear him shout TIMING CHIPS. I race back into the house get the chips and we both but our chips around our ankles. We hit the road with coffee in hand, we arrive at the event and it ain't going to happen. We hang around for a while and they eventually call the event off. Back in the car cold and wet we race home.

 

Off with the kit on with the track suite coffee and back into bed. One thing leads to another and . During this ordeal my foot catches on something and I think to myself, no it can't be I say to hubby, nunu what have you got around your ankle? to which he replies nothing why? I say well my toes keep on hooking into something so please have a look?

 

Nunu has a look and discover he still had his timing chip wrapped around his ankle that was the end of we laughted so much.

 

Ok am off to the Dog Box - Goodnight all

 

 

 

 

[Overlord]

We (about 15 of us) were training for 07 DC. Just before the DC the PPA were putting on a one day stage event' date=' if my memory serves me correctly it was about 180Km can't remember the events name. Needless to say our team manager thought this would be a great event to see if we were ready for the DC. A week leading up to this race the Western Cape got all the rain we could handle. We had our doubts that the event would happen but we all stayed possitive as we were eager to ride. The morning of the event it was a sparrows fart wake up at 3am to travel. It was wet and freezing cold. Hubby says we are to go dressed in kit so we don't need to rush when we get to the event. Am so bloody nervous, I take all the advice I can get.  So here we are all dressed up ready to go, as we are about to get in the car I hear him shout TIMING CHIPS. I race back into the house get the chips and we both but our chips around our ankles. We hit the road with coffee in hand, we arrive at the event and it ain't going to happen. We hang around for a while and they eventually call the event off. Back in the car cold and wet we race home.

Off with the kit on with the track suite coffee and back into bed. One thing leads to another and . During this ordeal my foot catches on something and I think to myself, no it can't be I say to hubby, nunu what have you got around your ankle? to which he replies nothing why? I say well my toes keep on hooking into something so please have a look?

Nunu has a look and discover he still had his timing chip wrapped around his ankle that was the end of we laughted so much.

Ok am off to the Dog Box - Goodnight all



[/quote']

 

Priceless Skye!!!!

[Windbreaker]

and it was a sub 3 ... sub 3 minute

[PhilipV]

 

We (about 15 of us) were training for 07 DC. Just before the DC the PPA were putting on a one day stage event' date=' if my memory serves me correctly it was about 180Km can't remember the events name. Needless to say our team manager thought this would be a great event to see if we were ready for the DC. A week leading up to this race the Western Cape got all the rain we could handle. We had our doubts that the event would happen but we all stayed possitive as we were eager to ride. The morning of the event it was a sparrows fart wake up at 3am to travel. It was wet and freezing cold. Hubby says we are to go dressed in kit so we don't need to rush when we get to the event. Am so bloody nervous, I take all the advice I can get.  So here we are all dressed up ready to go, as we are about to get in the car I hear him shout TIMING CHIPS. I race back into the house get the chips and we both but our chips around our ankles. We hit the road with coffee in hand, we arrive at the event and it ain't going to happen. We hang around for a while and they eventually call the event off. Back in the car cold and wet we race home.

 

Off with the kit on with the track suite coffee and back into bed. One thing leads to another and . During this ordeal my foot catches on something and I think to myself, no it can't be I say to hubby, nunu what have you got around your ankle? to which he replies nothing why? I say well my toes keep on hooking into something so please have a look?

 

Nunu has a look and discover he still had his timing chip wrapped around his ankle that was the end of we laughted so much.

 

Ok am off to the Dog Box - Goodnight all

 

 

 

[/quote']

 

Do you really call him "Nunu?" Cute

Priceless story, we salute you for sharing it. Taking one for the team there.

 

[Sammajoor]

 

 

We (about 15 of us) were training for 07 DC. Just before the DC the PPA were putting on a one day stage event' date=' if my memory serves me correctly it was about 180Km can't remember the events name. Needless to say our team manager thought this would be a great event to see if we were ready for the DC. A week leading up to this race the Western Cape got all the rain we could handle. We had our doubts that the event would happen but we all stayed possitive as we were eager to ride. The morning of the event it was a sparrows fart wake up at 3am to travel. It was wet and freezing cold. Hubby says we are to go dressed in kit so we don't need to rush when we get to the event. Am so bloody nervous, I take all the advice I can get.  So here we are all dressed up ready to go, as we are about to get in the car I hear him shout TIMING CHIPS. I race back into the house get the chips and we both but our chips around our ankles. We hit the road with coffee in hand, we arrive at the event and it ain't going to happen. We hang around for a while and they eventually call the event off. Back in the car cold and wet we race home.

 

Off with the kit on with the track suite coffee and back into bed. One thing leads to another and . During this ordeal my foot catches on something and I think to myself, no it can't be I say to hubby, nunu what have you got around your ankle? to which he replies nothing why? I say well my toes keep on hooking into something so please have a look?

 

Nunu has a look and discover he still had his timing chip wrapped around his ankle that was the end of we laughted so much.

 

Ok am off to the Dog Box - Goodnight all

 

 

 

[/quote']

 

So who was timing the event .......... Durex or Latex,  Maybe he should cjange his name from Windbreaker to..............Moodbreaker

sammajoor2009-03-19 20:56:25

[Tumbleweed]

and it was a sub 3 ... sub 3 minute

 

it shouldn't be a sprint. rather use it as interval training

[L'Bie]

This was the best read I had in ages. The accideeent had me in tears. Bring it on hubbers.