I have an idea for a new thread...

[Strawberry Mama]

Jy is soooo 'n BITCH (gay voice) ek het gevra of jy hulle soek, toe ignore jy my. :D :D

You asked for the red ones....

[Sammajoor]

You asked for the red ones....

 

Actually wanted the mauve ones that you took......... :blush: :blush:

[Strawberry Mama]

Actually wanted the mauve ones that you took......... :blush: :blush:

sorry - I will bring them to you over the weekend

[Eddy Gordo]

Bobby Naidoo, from Durbs, applies for a job as a salesman in a hyper store in Vrede in the Vrystaat.

 

The manager says: "Do you have any sales experience?"

 

Bobby says: "S'true my larnie, I was a salesman back in Grey Street, Durban 'n all."

 

Well, the boss liked this Indian boytjie so he gave him the job.

 

"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

 

His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down.

 

"How many sales did you make today?"

 

Bobby says: "Larnie, just ONE sale 'n all."

 

The boss says: "Just one? No! No! No! You see here our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. If you want to keep this job, you'll have to do better than just one sale. By the way, how much was the sale for?"

 

Bobby says: " R1,401,237.64"

 

Boss says: "Bliksem..........R1,401,237.64? Fokkit man, what the hell did you sell him?"

 

Bobby stutters: "Sir, Larnie, Boss man, first I sell him the small fishhook. Then I sell him the medium fish hook. Then I sell him the large fish hook. Then I sell him a new fishing rod and some fishing gear n'all. Then I ask him where he's going fishing and he tunes down on the coast, so I'm tuning him he'll be needing a boat n'all in the Indian Ocean cause I'm Indian and I'm knowing this, so we trapped down to the boating department and I sell him a twin-engine, ocean-going craft. Then he said he didn't think his Ford Bantam would pull it and I'm saying true n'all, so I took him down to our jammy automotive department and sell him that 4X4 Hilux double-cab with a canopy n'all, my Larnie. I then ask him where he'll be staying n'all, and since he has no possi to kip, I took him to camping department and sell him one of those new igloo 6 sleeper camper tents. Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about a R1000 worth of groceries and two cases of beer and I'm scheming that's lekka n'all and I gave him discount................"

 

The boss says: "You're not serious? A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat, a 4X4 truck and a tent?"

 

Bobby tunes: "Nooit larnie, actually he came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife, and I'm tuning him: "Well, since your weekend's screwed n'all, you might just as well go fishing!"

[AndreZA]

The European GP. A different view.

 

http://en.espnf1.com/PICTURES/CMS/10700/10733.jpg

 

http://en.espnf1.com/PICTURES/CMS/10700/10740.jpg

 

http://en.espnf1.com/PICTURES/CMS/10700/10775.jpg

[Strawberry Mama]

The European GP. A different view.

http://en.espnf1.com/PICTURES/CMS/10700/10775.jpg

If Redbull gives wings - they are not really drinking it - I see no wings

[RodTi]

[AndreZA]

If Redbull gives wings - they are not really drinking it - I see no wings

 

You are not suppose to. That is why they can swim, cycle or run.

[Strawberry Mama]

You are not suppose to. That is why they can swim, cycle or run.

[Grebel]

It is long, but WELL worth a read!!!

 

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone!!! Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know!!!

 

Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call. I had to make. I found the number and dialled it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?"

 

I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits of the number. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a jackass!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass," and put it in my desk drawer.

 

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It would always cheer me up.

 

Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jackass. Then one day I had an idea. I dialled his number, then heard his voice, "Hello."

 

 

I made up a name. "Hi, this is the sales office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?" He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!"

 

The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 823-4863.

 

The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black Camaro came flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulled into her space. I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do that, Buddy. I was here first!" The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me.

 

He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there sure a lot of jackasses in this world. I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.

 

A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're a jackass!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial), I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too.

 

 

After a couple of rings someone answered the phone and said, "Hello." I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro for sale?"

 

"Yes, it is."

 

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front."

I said, "What's your name?"

 

"My name is Don Hansen."

 

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

 

"I'm home in the evenings."

"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes."

"Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down. After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialler. For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call. Then, after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution:

First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello." I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up. The jackass said, "Are you still there?"

I said, "Yeah."

He said, "Stop calling me."

I said, "No."

He said, "What's your name, Pal?"

I said, "Don Hansen."

He said "Where do you live?"

"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro's parked out front."

"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."

"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.

Then I called Jackass #2.

He answered, "Hello."

I said, "Hello, Jackass!"

He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."

 

"You'll what?"

"I'll kick your butt."

"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now Jackass!" And I hung up.

Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home.

Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down W. 34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing.

 

Glorious! Watching two Jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter was one of the greatest experiences of my life!

 

 

Name withheld to protect the guilty.

[RodTi]

Taking recycling to a new level?

 

 

http://i1100.photobucket.com/albums/g406/yju895/001.gif

[Strawberry Mama]

A baby mosquito came back after flying the first time.

 

His dad asked him "How do you feel?"

He replied "It was wonderful, Everyone was clapping for me!"

[RodTi]

Apologies for the naughty word by Mr. Connery, aka 007...

 

 

[RodTi]

[RodTi]

[TNT1]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awlAm_FecTs