Cricket......

[gemmerbal]

Stretch and Aero,

 

how would you define accidental use of fowl language or whatever, I mean if caught out, the immediate response would always be it was an accident, in an attempt to avoid sanction. just a thought.

 

Personally I have heard much worse on the cricket field: I have seen death threats, guys being surrounded etc etc, but no, I was not playing on TV. (funny story, there is a player in the current Cobras team who pulled a 9mm on a team mate last season, in the change room. he got a suspended 3 match ban from WPCA...)

 

As a general rule when we played club cricket, the line was drawn at getting personal, ie your family is a no-go zone. you can tell a guy he bats like a ma se purse, but dont tell him his ma se purse needs a shave because you are still struggling to get the hair out of your teeth. Its a very fine line. yes its maybe not entirely in the spirit of the game, but when the heat is on and you are playing for trophies/money, things are going to happen. and if done without becoming personal, then fair play to you.

 

generally, when we played, we spoke a lot of BS around the guy to distract him from what he is trying to do, because we knew it was safer to not be directly insulting/chirping but rather to take an indirect approach. then also some umpires have archaic views on the way they think the game should be played: i was once given a final warning for the first bouncer i bowled to an opening batsman, which was just ridiculous!

 

the Ramnaresh Sarwan vs Glenn McGrath incident has 2 sides to that story. Yes it was an ugly incident, but Pigeon wasn't innocent. He asked Sarwan "what does Brian Lara's cock taste like?' to which Sarwan replied "i dont know, ask your wife", which would have been a good comeback had it not been for the condition of Pigeon's wife, being at home sick terminally ill with cancer as we know. Sarwan claims he didn't know that Jane was terminally ill, and I would like to believe that what Sarwan is saying is true, just because no cricketer I know would knowingly stoop that low, I stand by that last sentence.

 

Buttler called VDP a f.....ing knobb, and told him he had a big gut. I honestly don't view that as being the worst insult on a cricket pitch ever. Yes, insulting, yes personal, but VDP is a seasoned player, he knows that was a k#k chirp. and he also knew that Buttler was standing right over the mic. If I was in VDP's shoes, I would have just started laughing with that thought in mind.

 

Lastly, some of the most heated battles I ever had on the pitch, led to some of the longest nights in the opposition's change room. Just saying...

 

Lekker boys! You okes make me miss my playing days. Damn Niknaks knees of mine...

 

EDIT: you also didn't chirp from the get go. as a bowler, I preferred to let the ball do the talking, but sometimes the odd word was necessary, but as long as it wasn't personal, it is deemed ok in my mind. you had to know WHEN to chirp too, just going on and on non stop made it much less effective. I dont include chit chat or team mates g-ing each other up with chirping. some guys just make nonsense comments all the time in an attempt to put you off your game. that is just senseless, just like Buttler's chirp.

 

You still gonna hear foul words in the scrum or wherever. Personal attacks are not on... For example... McGrath when his wife was undergoing chemotherapy....but Taunts and jeers are therefore to put the batsmen or bowler off guard... If it occasionally involves calling someone a lady part or whatever I don't see a problem with that

Edited January 10, 2020 by gemmerbal

[gemmerbal]

Sarwan incident:

 

https://www.smh.com.au/sport/cricket/the-nastiest-sledges-in-cricket-20131125-2y52y.html

[gemmerbal]

donner, seeing that Ambrose/Waugh incident always gets me going. Ambrose was a CLASS bowler, he didn't have to say ANYTHING, those eyes...

 

then Steve Waugh asked him "what the f... are you looking at..." - I think this was Waugh's first or second tour of the Caribbean. You don't pull a dog's tail in its own back yard...

[gemmerbal]

"Not one known for his mental resoluteness, Ravi Shastri was batting when the 12th man for Australia Mike Whitney was called on as a substitute fielder. Shastri attempted to pinch a quick single to Whitney at mid-off who yelled out at the 80-Test veteran, "If you leave your crease I will break your f---ing head."

 

Without flinching, Shastri replied angrily, "Hey! If you could bat or bowl as well as you could talk, you wouldn't be f---ing twelfth man!"

[gemmerbal]

20. Malcolm Marshall & David Boon.
Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon, who was having a bit of trouble against the fast bowler and had played and missed a few times. Marshall : "Now David, are you going to get out or am I going to have to come round the wicket and kill you?".

19. Merv Hughes & Graham Gooch.
Merv Hughes was all over Gooch in one test and proceeded to say: "Would you like me to bowl a piano and see if you can play that".

18. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham.
In an Ashes match Botham arrived at the wicket to a bit of cheek from the Aussie keeper. Marsh : "So how's your wife and my kid's?". Botham: "Wife's fine. Kid's are retarded".

17. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes.
In the 1989 Ashes series Big Merv was giving Smith a few problems. After playing and missing a Merv delivery, Big Merv snapped: "You can't ******* bat". Next ball Smith proceeded to belt Hughes to the fence for four runs and replied: "Hey Merv! We make a good pair. I can't ******* bat and you can't ******* bowl!".

16. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad.
During a test between Pakistan and Australia in 1991 Miandad tried to sledge Merv: "Merv you are a big, fat bus conductor". Only a few balls later Merv dismissed Miandad, ran past him and shouted: "Tickets please!".

15. Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga.
The Australians were getting frustrated while trying to get the wicket of the portly Arjuna Ranatunga of Sri Lanka. Various tactics were tried and failed until Healy came up with a winner: "Put a Mars Bar on a good length and that should do it!".

14. Herschelle Gibbs & Steve Waugh.
In the 1999 World Cup Australia needed to beat South Africa to keep their tournament hopes alive. Steve Waugh was on 56* and leading Aus to victory when he gifted Gibbs a simple catch. Gibbs went to celebrate the catch but instead dropped it, leaving Waugh to retort: "You've just dropped the World Cup". He was right too, Aussie went on to win the game and the tournament, knocking out South Africa in the process.

13. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards.
During a test match in Jamaica, Hughes continued to stare at Richards after each delivery. He never spoke a word but sure enough after every delivery there was a stare. Viv Richards: "Don't you be staring at me, man. This is my island, my culture. And in my culture we just bowl". Hughes replied with a ripper : "In my culture we just say **** off".

12. Mark Waugh & Adam Parore.
Waugh: "I remember you from a couple of years ago. You were **** then and you're fucken useless now!". To which Parore replied: "Yeah that's me. And I remember you were dating that old, ugly slut. I see you've married her now. You dumb ****".

11. Merv Hughes & Robin Smith.
Merv was bowling a few crackers that Smith couldn't even get an edge to. Merv: "If you turn the bat over you'll get the instructions mate".

And the Top 10...

10. Jamie Siddons & Steve Waugh.
In a Sheffield Shield match Steve Waugh was taking his time getting ready to face his first ball. Taking guard, scratching out his mark, looking at the field settings. Jamie Siddons decided enough was enough and remarked: "For ****'s sake, mate, it's not a fucken test match!". To which Waugh replied: "Of course it's not... You're here".

9. Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga.
During a One-dayer between Australia and Sri Lanka Ranatunga decided he needed a runner. The stump microphone then picked up the following sledge from Healy: "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, fat ****".

8. Glenn McGrath & Ramnaresh Sarwan.
Surprised this didn't rank higher. Shortly after McGrath's wife had been diagnosed with breast cancer, the Australians were playing a test match against the West Indies. McGrath: "What does Brian Lara's dick taste like?". Sarwan: "Why don't you ask your wife?". McGrath then lost the plot: "If you ever mention my wife again, I'll fucken rip your fucken throat out".

7. Fred Trueman.
An Australian batsman was walking onto the field, opened the gate and before he could shut it, Trueman remarked: "Don't bother shutting it, son, you won't be there long enough".

6. Ravi Shastri & Mike Whitney.
Mike Whitney was on the field as a sub fielder while Shastri was batting. Shastri hits the ball to Whitney and contemplates a single. Whitney throws the ball in and says: "Stay in your crease or I'll break your fucken head". Shastri replies: "If you could bowl as well as you talk you wouldn't be the fucken 12th man!".

5. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne.
Cullinan was well known as being a bit of a bunny to Warne's bowling. The 2 hadn't played each other in some time so when Cullinan walked out to bat, Warne couldn't resist heckling him: "I've been waiting two years for another chance at you". Cullinan got him back with a ripper: "Looks like you spent it eating..."

4. Sunil Gavaskar & Viv Richards.
In one test between the West Indians and the Indians Sunil Gavaskar decided to drop down to no.4 from his usual opening position. Malcolm Marshall then proceeded to dismiss Gaekwad and Vengsarkar for no score. When Gavaskar came out to bat Richards said: "Man it don't matter where you come in, the score is still zero!"

3. Fred Trueman & Raman Subba Row.
Fred Trueman was bowling and got an edge from the batsman which went between Row's legs, who was fielding at slip. At the end of the over, Row runs over to Trueman and says: "Sorry Fred, I should've kept my legs closed". Trueman: "So should your mother".

2. Mark Waugh & James Ormond.
James Ormond came out to bat in a match with Australia. Mark Waugh, at slip, let rip: "What are you doing out here? You're too **** to play for England!" Ormond replied: "Maybe so, but at least I'm the best player in my family".

Drumroll please! The number 1 cricket sledge of all time as voted by you, is:

1. Viv Richards & Greg Thomas.
In a county match in England, Thomas was bowling to Richards and getting a few to whizz past the bat. After Richards played and missed another one, Thomas said: "It's red, it's round. Now fucken hit it!". This obviously angered Richards who proceeded to hit the next ball out of the ground. Richards: "You know what it looks like now go and get it."

[gemmerbal]

haha, Fred Trueman getting close there at no.3... HAHA

[babse]

didnt even realise the 3rd test started today...

 

England won toss and bat first. Steady start at 61/0.

 

lots of speak of a flat / slow wicket 

[Shebeen]

didnt even realise the 3rd test started today...

 

England won toss and bat first. Steady start at 61/0.

 

lots of speak of a flat / slow wicket 

 

lot's of talk about Faf losing 6 tosses in a row. that could be a record.

infact the last toss we won was 6 July, vs australia at the world cup.

if you include the 2 T20i vs india then we've lost 8 in a row,

chances of that bad luck are 1 in 256.

 

9.00am Temba Bavuma is South Africa's specialist coin tosser today. And he hasn't done any better. Faf du Plessis can't believe it.

[Shebeen]

https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/8877/scorecard/1194283/dolphins-vs-lions-21st-match-4-day-franchise-series-2019-20

 

Temba on 126*, nursing the tail.

if Faf gets two low scores will their be talk for the 4th test?!

[Mntboy]

https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/8877/scorecard/1194283/dolphins-vs-lions-21st-match-4-day-franchise-series-2019-20

 

Temba on 126*, nursing the tail.

if Faf gets two low scores will their be talk for the 4th test?!

Currently a 164* at the tea break. Also this is now his highest FC score.

 

As for the Test match: Nicely balanced given the slow/flat nature of the pitch.

[Vetplant]

Currently a 164* at the tea break. Also this is now his highest FC score.

 

As for the Test match: Nicely balanced given the slow/flat nature of the pitch.

Think the selectors will be happy with that kind of grit from Temba, I say bring him in for the 4th test, don't know who they supposed to drop though, Hamza looks like the likely victim... Faf has the least runs from our batsmen, but can they drop the cappie, highly unlikely.

[gemmerbal]

i say we should all be happy that Temba has gone away and managed to make a decent score!

 

I dont agree with the decision to have VDP and Patterson in the side at the same time. they are too similar, very limiting in terms of when they can bowl because they are only really effective with a new ball, and Patterson while he has the ability to bowl reverse, at 130kph is not going to make anyone nervous.

 

Historically speaking, this is probably the weakest new ball pairing in the Protea jumper.

 

Shebeen help me out here (your stats research skills is better than mine), tests at St Georges are not not known for producing big scores. 136/3 after 63 overs, if we can limit them to under 250 and somehow manage to achieve a lead after our first innings, we will be on top. otherwise batting 4th chasing anything over 225 is going to be a huge challenge.

Think the selectors will be happy with that kind of grit from Temba, I say bring him in for the 4th test, don't know who they supposed to drop though, Hamza looks like the likely victim... Faf has the least runs from our batsmen, but can they drop the cappie, highly unlikely.

Edited January 18, 2020 by gemmerbal

[Mntboy]

Think the selectors will be happy with that kind of grit from Temba, I say bring him in for the 4th test, don't know who they supposed to drop though, Hamza looks like the likely victim... Faf has the least runs from our batsmen, but can they drop the cappie, highly unlikely.

Just had this conversation with a colleague of mine. My feeling is that the captaincy is the only thing saving FdP right now. However if he gets a score then it does set the cat among the pigeons doesn't it.

 

The problem is more, for me at least, that both Hamza and Van der Dussen deserve a proper run in the team so it's likely that Temba remains having to play domestic cricket for the remainder of the season. It might be fairer to try and give Temba game time in ODI's and T20I's.

['Dale]

Gotta get Stokes early

Great player

 

Root was nowhere with his feet

Looked like me batting ????

[gemmerbal]

haha!

 

agreed on Stokes, need to get him ASAP

Gotta get Stokes early
Great player

Root was nowhere with his feet
Looked like me batting

[gemmerbal]

i feel Nkwe's comments that Temba is captaincy material is a bit immature. Temba must still cut his teeth in international cricket, and eke out a permanent spot in the team. For any test captain to be dropped takes a lot of doing, just ask Mark Taylor/Allan Border/Steve Waugh/Ricky Ponting/Graeme Smith etc etc etc.

 

If and when Faf does get dropped, it would be the end of him. In fact Im sure after this series he will retire from the Test side. Who the hell then takes over the captaincy is anyone's guess because nobody stands out in my opinion.

 

 

Just had this conversation with a colleague of mine. My feeling is that the captaincy is the only thing saving FdP right now. However if he gets a score then it does set the cat among the pigeons doesn't it.

The problem is more, for me at least, that both Hamza and Van der Dussen deserve a proper run in the team so it's likely that Temba remains having to play domestic cricket for the remainder of the season. It might be fairer to try and give Temba game time in ODI's and T20I's.