BrianMTB Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 it's one ride, dude. And it's one of the best. You shouldn't have promised in the first place! Maybe limited yourself to one or 2, but not cancelled altogether. Architect of your own destruction you were! Yep, I was a dumbass - but I was facing a firing squad. I guess single life won't be so bad! Lets us know hopw that goes , can i place some bets . If I can have a share in the winnings - I'll need it!
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Wish I had the time now to read through all the comments - the few I have seen are really good and I can comment from both sides... My 2c for now…I do agree that woman (and men) can seem unreasonable sometimes (some more than other), but I cannot ever see that I won’t let my partner go cycling or go to gym or go for a beer with mates or or if he also invest the same ‘effort’ into me/us. It is true {@Iron's words} about the “if you say you will be back in 4hours, thenbe back in 4 hours”…personally, I am not very unreasonable so if 4hours areclose to being past and you foresee you are going to be ‘late’ – just let yourpartner know, it shows respect {@Iron's words} “and she won’t sit/lie around and wait for you” so she will feel less like she wasted time! [Wasting time upsets me the most, not the fact that my partner is out cycling (or whatever).] And yes, {@Iron's words} “then she/he will trust you next time you want to go do something again”… Finally – it is VERY important that both parties have ‘hobbies’ they desire to go do as often as possible. Luckily for me it is also cycling, if my partner is into cycling too (can’t see me choosing anyone that won’t be, but anyway) I won’t want to go ride with him all the time either – I like meeting new people and going somewhere with your partner sometimes confines one from doing that (as you are basically in the same bubble the whole time) – this was very difficult to explain to my previous boyfriend and it was an issue between us. Well said Hayley... And yes, it is the wasted time, not the activity itself, that grates. But also - it's not difficult to let your other half know that you are going to be longer than expected. It's called SMS / BBM / Whatsapp. Or just a phonecall. Yes, you may be sh4t on, but deep down your other half will appreciate the update, and won't hold it against you. It's all about communication.
Escapee.. Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Finally – it is VERY important that both parties have ‘hobbies’ they desire to go do as often as possible. Luckily for me it is also cycling, if my partner is into cycling too (can’t see me choosing anyone that won’t be, but anyway) I won’t want to go ride with him all the time either – I like meeting new people and going somewhere with your partner sometimes confines one from doing that (as you are basically in the same bubble the whole time) – this was very difficult to explain to my previous boyfriend and it was an issue between us. I have tried this before, but I usually end up talking to woman (not my fault as they approach me!)
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Yep, I was a dumbass - but I was facing a firing squad. I guess single life won't be so bad! If I can have a share in the winnings - I'll need it! ROFL. So it was a "yes, Dear" situation, was it!? ROFL. I get those all the time. But she just wants to be heard, man. Talk about it. She probably sees it as an unnecessary distraction, while it's a life-long passion for you. Compromise instead of writing the whole thing off... FAR better, and more realistic.
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 (edited) I have tried this before, but I usually end up talking to woman (not my fault as they approach me!) ROFL. Dude, it happens. And it's not bad, that. Just make sure that your wife knows that it's her who retains the rights to the glint in your eye. Edited August 29, 2012 by cptmayhem
The Ghost Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 It is true {@Iron's words} about the “if you say you will be back in 4hours, thenbe back in 4 hours”…personally, I am not very unreasonable so if 4hours areclose to being past and you foresee you are going to be ‘late’ – just let yourpartner know, it shows respect {@Iron's words} “and she won’t sit/lie around and wait for you” so she will feel less like she wasted time! [Wasting time upsets me the most, not the fact that my partner is out cycling (or whatever).] And yes, {@Iron's words} “then she/he will trust you next time you want to go do something again”… Apart from the fact that this violates rule 18 and gives the woman too much power (thats my macho speak), I have found that if I lose track of time, or am in a situation where I cant contact the Mrs to say Im late she stresses her @ss off that something bad has happened. We discussed it, and now I just let her know what time Im aiming to be back but no guarantees, and once I have finished my ride I iMessage her to say all is well. I guess this will vary from woman to woman.
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 I guess this will vary from woman to woman. No it doesn't. What varies is the amount of k4k you get into straight away, and how much she saves for later. Hairy and RudoJ 2
Iron Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Wish I had the time now to read through all the comments - the few I have seen are really good and I can comment from both sides... My 2c for now…I do agree that woman (and men) can seem unreasonable sometimes (some more than other), but I cannot ever see that I won’t let my partner go cycling or go to gym or go for a beer with mates or or if he also invest the same ‘effort’ into me/us. It is true {@Iron's words} about the “if you say you will be back in 4hours, thenbe back in 4 hours”…personally, I am not very unreasonable so if 4hours areclose to being past and you foresee you are going to be ‘late’ – just let yourpartner know, it shows respect {@Iron's words} “and she won’t sit/lie around and wait for you” so she will feel less like she wasted time! [Wasting time upsets me the most, not the fact that my partner is out cycling (or whatever).] And yes, {@Iron's words} “then she/he will trust you next time you want to go do something again”… Finally – it is VERY important that both parties have ‘hobbies’ they desire to go do as often as possible. Luckily for me it is also cycling, if my partner is into cycling too (can’t see me choosing anyone that won’t be, but anyway) I won’t want to go ride with him all the time either – I like meeting new people and going somewhere with your partner sometimes confines one from doing that (as you are basically in the same bubble the whole time) – this was very difficult to explain to my previous boyfriend and it was an issue between us. See i was not wrong .( Spezfan is right , i should write a book , i get these creatures and i dig them ) Try this novel idea to all the guys having crap , ask your chick what she would like and what she thinks . never presume .
Escapee.. Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Apart from the fact that this violates rule 18 and gives the woman too much power (thats my macho speak), I have found that if I lose track of time, or am in a situation where I cant contact the Mrs to say Im late she stresses her @ss off that something bad has happened. We discussed it, and now I just let her know what time Im aiming to be back but no guarantees, and once I have finished my ride I iMessage her to say all is well. I guess this will vary from woman to woman. I just know that the if the roles where reversed and she said she will be back at a certain time and she isn't, I would be very
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 I just know that the if the roles where reversed and she said she will be back at a certain time and she isn't, I would be very exactly... same as if you had planned / wanted to do something and the training time cut into that, and you carried on regardless.
The Ghost Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 I just know that the if the roles where reversed and she said she will be back at a certain time and she isn't, I would be very Normally I would agree, if Im going to visit somebody or whatever then exact time and calling etc if late is important.The thing with MTB is that it can be risky and anything can happen, so allowances are best catered for up front.I can tell you that most of this came after my wife was told that I had a bad quad crash and that it didnt look good; needless to say she was beside herself and as it turned out it wasnt me at all.
The Ghost Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 exactly... same as if you had planned / wanted to do something and the training time cut into that, and you carried on regardless. Thats why you plan ahead.If the 2 activities are too close then prioritise and compromise.
Ratty Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 DONT ! we have had Two and when i boys out grew them i burnt them ! **** i tell you **** , they dont last and you paying for the name. I also was very unimpressed with the Jeep pram we had. We eventually used our cycling one for everything including shopping etc. Was just so much easier to move around etc.
Ratty Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Yep, I was a dumbass - but I was facing a firing squad. I guess single life won't be so bad! If I can have a share in the winnings - I'll need it! Don't worry, I made the same mistake. I promised that once I had done Sani once, that would be it, I would have done one of the best stages races and one of my bucket list items would be checked. Unfortunately for him, others got added. I'm now doing Berg & Bush, Sani next year (have to do it once with my dad) and want to do the 5 day tour in Namibia next year Oct. Don't think he will ever believe a promised again... oops.
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 The other day I was asked if I would ever decide to do the Epic. I said no, because I'd like to do the same as Patches etc have done and do the Alps trip. She balked at that, until I told her it would actually be cheaper, and I'd enjoy it more. Then she said "as a family, or alone" I said alone, because I'd be concentrating on the riding and she & baba would be alone for the 2 weeks I was riding. But then I also want to go in the northern winter months for skiing, which is what she wanted me to say. So it seems as if I'll have 2 alps trips. One alone (with riding buddies) and one with the family, when the little one can either travel with us, or be left with grandparents!
Bianchisti Posted August 29, 2012 Posted August 29, 2012 Ya'll should be happy your wifes wants to spend time with you's. Not the other way around!
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