Captain Fastbastard Mayhem

Exactly. Majestic AF.

No, we're the TEALadies. Pfft. Get it right.

Yeah man. You can get to 1500m very quickly there. Good thing mine is sub 15. ????

Trail Estate Agents. Cos we purchase so much land... unicorns are majestic creatures, TSEK is our standard response to negativity and people being dicks, and, like, the universe, man... It's our WA group, like Savage & co's Smutt & MTB group also have their own tops.

yeah, man. I'd love to be able to ride like a girl. yeah, the double black is lekker. If there is a new trail being included, then that's grand. Fire hut is a lekker trail, but I don't think it should be included if there's something a bit more techy. 4 or 5 climbs to the top, though, with some of those to the Saaltjie, I'm assuming. EINA.

Hahahahaha Cobra is tame. Just pedally AF, which is my downfall there as I'm reeeeally bad at sprinting and cornering. The "rock slab" is either with the shaley right hander, or on one of the straights where there's a large boulder that you roll over so fast you blink and it's gone. TSEK hempie reserved for our WA group. We're the Trail Estate Agents / TEALadies. Unicorn non-negotiable EDIT: Yeah, it's reeeeally easy to get it wrong on stage one (trail z) with the speed you carry there.

THIS. Frankie is FAST!!!! Joh. Re Jonkers: You'll definitely beat me, bro. Especially if they include Status (which I'm sure they won't as 50% of the field probably won't be able to ride it)

Hahahaha *** ja, it was. If I hadn't stopped for the injured rider I'd have been far better placed, about mid-field. Getting fitter and faster, which is good news.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Enduro gap?

Dude, you did well for your first event. Hope to see you at the Jonkers one.

Hoogies Enduro for some MEGA fun, yesterday. The conditions were TOP notch. Tacky dirt, lots and lots and lots of pedalling (there's no stage that didn't require all out efforts) and a seriously kiff vibe.

Yuuuup, that was us.

So, the day after. All I have to say is it was an absolute frikkin BLAST! Stage 1 was a wash 'cos I stopped to help a lightie witha broken collarbone after he came off on the bottom half of Trail Z (just after the a-frame) so my official time for that was 14 minutes, taking me waaaaay out of contention for anything. A total turnout of 232 entrants on the day made it an extremely well supported event, with loads of different skill levels and ages. The stoke was high, the trails were tacky and perfect, and the weather was simply superb. Loved the addition of stage 3, which was Spykers Hill (reversed) with a few sneaky off camber sections of goodness thrown in to add some spice, and stage 5 was the same as last year, the final descent back to the carpark with a few bits of off-camber goodness thrown in at the top. We need more of this on the regular trail. SOOOO good! My official time was waaay higher than I wanted to be, thanks to the intermission on stage one, which meant I came 3rd last in the official standings, with 2 of my riding buddies coming in 2nd last and last (one for same reason as me, one due to a catastrophic chain malfunction on the last stage) The rest of my times were far better, and I'm catching my faster riding buddies which I'm very happy about. I think we were the loudest group of the day... Can't wait for the Jonkers event. Another very, very well organised event by Enduro Western Cape / EWC Enduro and all the other contributors.

004

who the heck cares? It's a creative decision based on a "retirement" - there's never been a new 007, it's always just been a new James Bond. This is a completely new 007 after Bond retired from that position.

I don't want to be friends with anybody who doesn't pronounce it assguy...

Yeah, but it's not Bond that they're saying is now female & black, it's the 007 moniker. 007 can be anyone, who cares if it's a woman, as long as it's a good film.

Rad! It should be a jol. I do these so my mates have someone they're always beating. ????

Saw that this morning. Dayyyyyum, son!

Most likely, yeah. Seems like a 1x

no, just kindergarten until they are 3. $250 per child.

Depends on the course, really... Some of those ruts on the upper end of the track allow for faster cornering if you can hit em properly, on those off camber corners. But then other parts get blown out and more difficult to hit properly, and then there are the braking bumps & holes on some of the sections in the woods (that one LH berm, for example) that just rattle you to shaite and rob speed sometimes.

I've bought warthog that was shot on a smallholding somewhere. They're apparently very destructive and have to be controlled through culling at times. Tastes yummy.

Yup. Remember them. I had the Mythos XC on my first hardtail after getting back in to riding.