MotoGP

[Andymann]

If Lorenzo and the Ducati have genuinely gelled and this was not a once-off, there are going to be some pretty concerned people at Yamaha and Honda.  Because with that Ducati power and Lorenzo's consistency, they are not going to catch him easily.

[Wannabe]

Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then...   

[bertusras]

Froome gets a new saddle, Lorenzo gets a new tank. Lightning does strike twice.

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

Dear Gigi,

Who is your Spartan Sex-Daddy now, you grey-haired old holster for leaky horse-penises?

I am. Go on. Say it. “You’re my Spartan Sex-Daddy, George!” Have it tattooed on your chest next to your heart. I want to see it as I make my triumphant entry into Barcelona in two weeks’ time.

I have returned!

I promised I would, and I have kept my promise. Unlike stupid Jesus, who has yet to make an appearance.

Yes, putas. Yes. Burn that yellow piss-smoke. Burn yourselves, for all I care. Bronze yourselves with your own steaming mierda. Let it dry like muddy armour on your squirming bodies.

Stupid Italian swamp gibbons. I can barely see you all the way down there from all the way up here where I rule.

The Mamba has triumphed!

If I was so inclined, I could, right now, have sex with that sobbing ****-toy who thinks he is my team-mate. He would cry even harder than I can hear him howling right now, but he would let me violate him just as I violated him on the track.

Just as I violated everyone on the track. Especially the filthy yellow Puta. I violated him and every one of his legs very much. Stupid fossilised centipede. I did not even see him standing on Position Number Three on the podium because it was so far below me I would have needed a telescope. Dirty chunk of used ****-pasta that he is. Retire, puta! Your time has passed. It is the time of the Buttered Mamba who wields the Hammer of Sparta and the Spear of…um, Sparta.

What did I tell you, Gigi? I told you I would come good. And you doubted me, didn’t you? Do not deny it. I saw it in your eyes. I have heard you and Claudio whispering behind my back. I am not deaf…well, I am a little bit, but you Italians think whispering is yelling and waving your arms around.

Ha! You tell that stupid stick-insect Claudio I am no longer interested in racing for him and I have new friends now.

My new friends have lots of money. They own a lot of oceans in Asia and these oceans are full of whales. And whales are very expensive, Gigi. Did you know that? They are worth a lot of money. Almost as much as me.

So my new friends, Wan Zulkifee and Tan Sri Mohd Sidek Hassan, have said they will buy a lot of Yamahas for next year and they will all be mine. And they also said I can have that Morbidellelellelli child to act as my servant.

It will be my personal Super Factory Mamba Team and it will be called Team Juice Whale Lorenzonas Makan Bola Saya.

I will now proceed to win every race that is left. But they are all not important races, except maybe the next one in Barcelona. That one is a little bit important because it is my home race, which I have always won, so it is tradition for me to win it again this year. I would be surprised if any of the grid even shows up, since there will be no point.

My dominance is assured. Just like you being unemployed next year is assured, Gigi. Well, you had your chance and now it is too late. I would like to say it has been fun, but it has not. So now that the season is almost over, it would be best if you painted everything black to show you are all in mourning because I am leaving your stupid Italian team and its stupid Italian rubbish-bike that only I can ride like a true champion.

What are you going to do without me, Gigi? Actually, I do not care what you will do without me. Maybe burn some of that piss-yellow smoke you pizza-spinning arse-slappers like so much.

Do you know where my helmet is? If that mad-eyed Crutchlow criminal is shitting in it again, I will be very displeased.

Eat my greasy meat-sack, Gigi.

George

[Steven Knoetze (sk27)]

Dear Gigi,

Who is your Spartan Sex-Daddy now, you grey-haired old holster for leaky horse-penises?

I am. Go on. Say it. “You’re my Spartan Sex-Daddy, George!” Have it tattooed on your chest next to your heart. I want to see it as I make my triumphant entry into Barcelona in two weeks’ time.

I have returned!

I promised I would, and I have kept my promise. Unlike stupid Jesus, who has yet to make an appearance.

Yes, putas. Yes. Burn that yellow piss-smoke. Burn yourselves, for all I care. Bronze yourselves with your own steaming mierda. Let it dry like muddy armour on your squirming bodies.

Stupid Italian swamp gibbons. I can barely see you all the way down there from all the way up here where I rule.

The Mamba has triumphed!

If I was so inclined, I could, right now, have sex with that sobbing ****-toy who thinks he is my team-mate. He would cry even harder than I can hear him howling right now, but he would let me violate him just as I violated him on the track.

Just as I violated everyone on the track. Especially the filthy yellow Puta. I violated him and every one of his legs very much. Stupid fossilised centipede. I did not even see him standing on Position Number Three on the podium because it was so far below me I would have needed a telescope. Dirty chunk of used ****-pasta that he is. Retire, puta! Your time has passed. It is the time of the Buttered Mamba who wields the Hammer of Sparta and the Spear of…um, Sparta.

What did I tell you, Gigi? I told you I would come good. And you doubted me, didn’t you? Do not deny it. I saw it in your eyes. I have heard you and Claudio whispering behind my back. I am not deaf…well, I am a little bit, but you Italians think whispering is yelling and waving your arms around.

Ha! You tell that stupid stick-insect Claudio I am no longer interested in racing for him and I have new friends now.

My new friends have lots of money. They own a lot of oceans in Asia and these oceans are full of whales. And whales are very expensive, Gigi. Did you know that? They are worth a lot of money. Almost as much as me.

So my new friends, Wan Zulkifee and Tan Sri Mohd Sidek Hassan, have said they will buy a lot of Yamahas for next year and they will all be mine. And they also said I can have that Morbidellelellelli child to act as my servant.

It will be my personal Super Factory Mamba Team and it will be called Team Juice Whale Lorenzonas Makan Bola Saya.

I will now proceed to win every race that is left. But they are all not important races, except maybe the next one in Barcelona. That one is a little bit important because it is my home race, which I have always won, so it is tradition for me to win it again this year. I would be surprised if any of the grid even shows up, since there will be no point.

My dominance is assured. Just like you being unemployed next year is assured, Gigi. Well, you had your chance and now it is too late. I would like to say it has been fun, but it has not. So now that the season is almost over, it would be best if you painted everything black to show you are all in mourning because I am leaving your stupid Italian team and its stupid Italian rubbish-bike that only I can ride like a true champion.

What are you going to do without me, Gigi? Actually, I do not care what you will do without me. Maybe burn some of that piss-yellow smoke you pizza-spinning arse-slappers like so much.

Do you know where my helmet is? If that mad-eyed Crutchlow criminal is shitting in it again, I will be very displeased.

Eat my greasy meat-sack, Gigi.

George

 

Its good but not as good as previous ones.

[mazambaan]

Ja Steven, those things were funny but a bit nasty, even considering JL gives good coldish fish impressions. I'm pleased for Lorenzo; shakes things up a bit and boy he took some stick, often from people who I reckon would be lucky to make one lap on a MotoGP bike; let alone race one. But such is the world.

 

I'm surprised MM didn't get sanctioned for his bump of Petrucci on lap 1 - that oke can ride but he may well hurt someone; or worse.

[Long Wheel Base]

MM tried hard to catch this one. Would have been a great save if he had.

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

MM tried hard to catch this one. Would have been a great save if he had.

Would have been an excellent save, but the limit finally found him. 

[Steven Knoetze (sk27)]

That attempt at a save was seriously impressive, don't think many other of the guys would have even attempted.

 

So Petrucci blames MM for "ruining his race" but then later conceded they had fuel pump issues which hindered his podium push. Dude seems miffed Lorenzo won as his factory ride opportunity takes a knock from the win and because Miller beat him again!!!

 

Loved that post race conference with Lorenzo as winner. Even asked Rossi on a date to Venice, which Rossi accepted before realizing what was happening. SOOOOOOO funny!!!!!!

[bertusras]

Here we go! Dani Pedrosa and HRC set to end contract at the end of 2018.

 

So who, who, who is going to come in???

[Steven Knoetze (sk27)]

Here we go! Dani Pedrosa and HRC set to end contract at the end of 2018.

 

So who, who, who is going to come in???

 

 

I saw the announcement, not surprised though. His form has been poor and he probably knew which explains his last 2 race performances.

 

I would imagine Marc will have a big say and I would not be surprised to see Rabat on the bike seeing as Lorenzo is touted as a VDS rider alongside Morbidelli which leaves Tito rideless yet that hasn't been a story. So it all ties up.

 

DO NOT discount an Alex Marquez announcement even though he has done nothing to deserve it, Marc's signing may have had a few clauses he insisted on.........

 

Obviously my heart would love a Stoner return but that is NEVER EVER going to happen!!!!

Edited June 5, 2018 by Steven Knoetze (sk27)

[Gnarly]

 

 

I would imagine Marc will have a big say and I would not be surprised to see Rabat on the bike seeing as Lorenzo is touted as a VDS rider alongside Morbidelli which leaves Tito rideless yet that hasn't been a story. So it all ties up.

 

 

 

This probably makes most sense...... Spanish and all that Repsol money. 

 

As you said would not surprise me if Alex is given a go, but are rookie's allowed to go straight to a factory ride, don't they have to do one year on a satellite team? 

 

Jack Miller maybe? Jonny Rea? 

[Patchelicious]

If Lorenzo and the Ducati have genuinely gelled and this was not a once-off, there are going to be some pretty concerned people at Yamaha and Honda. Because with that Ducati power and Lorenzo's consistency, they are not going to catch him easily.

Let’s hold our horse before we say that have “jelled”. Another podium and we can start that discussion.

 

Great win, but even Cal has won a race this year.

 

But IF they have, it’s a bit *** too seeing that he said he is moving to a team with a “good bike”.

[Andymann]

I saw the announcement, not surprised though. His form has been poor and he probably knew which explains his last 2 race performances.

 

I would imagine Marc will have a big say and I would not be surprised to see Rabat on the bike seeing as Lorenzo is touted as a VDS rider alongside Morbidelli which leaves Tito rideless yet that hasn't been a story. So it all ties up.

 

DO NOT discount an Alex Marquez announcement even though he has done nothing to deserve it, Marc's signing may have had a few clauses he insisted on.........

 

Obviously my heart would love a Stoner return but that is NEVER EVER going to happen!!!!

 

All lies - you just want that back in the paddock.....

[bertusras]

All lies - you just want that back in the paddock.....

 

Well who doesn't?

 

Alhoewel...

 

[NotSoBigBen]

Anyone see that coming?

 

https://www.motorsport.com/motogp/news/lorenzo-two-year-deal-honda-pedrosa-1044691/amp/?__twitter_impression=true

 

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