MotoGP

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

Dear George,

You’ve been standing up on that podium all night. You need to come down. It’s kinda creepy you up there in the dark waving your arms around and yelling, and me down here using my smartphone like a torch.

Everyone has gone home. The Automotorotonotodromo, or whatever it is these unreconstructed Chechyan communists call the place, is closed. Even the gypsies who steal peoples’ wallets have left.

There’s just you and me, and some of our mechanics who are too drunk to drive and are sleeping on the tyre piles out the back of the garage.

I’m running out of phone battery, George. I do not know how long my phone-light will last. And when it goes out, the wolves will come for us.

That may be just as well.

I don’t even want to look at my emails and phone messages. They’re all from Germany. And I know what they’re about.

And no, they’re not about you getting a pay-rise because you won yesterday. I told you before, there is no Special Spartan Rule S32.08.1in Dorna’s regulations. Carmelo punched me in the last kidney I have left when I brought him your big thick folder with all the Special Spartan Rules you had written, and told me to get out of his bedroom.

So no, you don’t get to decide when the race ends. I know the Moto2 race was shortened to six laps, but that was Race Direction’s call, not Passini’s.

I know you’re struggling with this, but the rider in the lead does not get to decide how many laps a race has. So as much as you like to think you won the Three-Lap Wet-Butter Sprint according to Special Spartan Rule S32.08.1, there were 19 more laps after those three which you didn’t win.

And they were dry, George. All 19 of them. They were not, as you keep yelling, “Parade Laps of Victory”. They were actually race laps.

And they were as dry as the ink on your Ducati contract, which is now, apparently in the hands of damp-handed German lawyers in Berlin, who are under instructions by Matthias to “Get us the bastard **** out of this ****”.

So come down. I will spray you with chain-lube, if you like. It’s just like that Freixenet garbage. You won’t know the difference, I promise. Mario can even put on a Monster Girl outfit if you like and kiss you on the cheek. He likes to wear them anyway.

Look, just follow my light and try not to fall down the stairs. I’ll be down here on the track keeping an eye out for the wolves.

Scared and alone,

Gigi.

[Steven Knoetze (sk27)]

They really are *** funny.

Wonder who the author is, he should back-date this to like the Stoner/Rossi Laguna '08 of Lorenzo/Rossi Japan '10 races.

Would be good reading!!!

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

Boris is a writer who has contributed to many magazines and websites over the years, edited a couple of those things as well, and written a few books. But his most important contribution is pissing people off. He feels this is his calling in life and something he takes seriously. He also enjoys whiskey, whisky and the way girls dance on tables. And riding motorcycles. He's pretty keen on that, too.

Edited August 8, 2017 by Myles Mayhew

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

http://www.bikeme.tv/index.php/first-time-i-see-back-markers-many-years-bringing-back-yes/

 

BAHAHAHAHAHA

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

I also need to explain how Asparagus A, riding an Aprilia made from recycled Italian fascists, and using a crank made from pasta, somehow managed to finish four places in front of you.

[Steven Knoetze (sk27)]

You can really lose time readiing those articles...........

[Patchelicious]

You can really lose time readiing those articles...........

Or riding like Jorge

[bertusras]

Casts some light on Lorenzo's result

 

 

Where the Blame Lies

 

If Dovizioso was relatively sanguine about the whole affair, Jorge Lorenzo was quietly livid. Though he did his best not to apportion blame on the team all too blatantly, it was obvious that he felt the blame lays squarely at the feet of his team.

“I just wanted to make one or maximum two more laps before entering the pits, making a signal to the guys,” Lorenzo said. “But just 3 corners before I entered the pits I received a signal on the dashboard, “Bike Change”. So when I saw that, I entered the pits, understanding that the bike was ready.”

Only it wasn’t. The team had accidentally exposed a weakness with the system: if you send a message too early, then the rider might come in before you are ready.

Ducati has been pioneers adopting the dashboard messages – which requires the latest version of the unified software on the spec Magneti Marelli ECU to function.

The team used that system to send a message, presuming he would receive it as he crossed the line, giving themselves another couple of minutes to complete the work.

But Lorenzo was still a few corners from the finish, and had time to enter the pits at the end of that same lap. There, he was forced to sit and wait while they finished up his bike.

 

Ready or Not…

 

“Probably the team saw that Marc was so fast already, they decided to take the risk to put this signal already one lap before, so we wouldn’t lose more seconds,” Lorenzo said. “But their guess was that it would take 30 or 40 seconds to change the bike, but it wasn’t enough, and my bike was not ready.”

“When I entered I saw the team working on the bike, the suspension technician putting the right settings, and when I exited the bike felt a little bit strange, and they told me also that my setting was half dry, half wet. Which is why I couldn’t go a little bit faster during these eighteen laps.”

[bertusras]

Jack Miller to Pramac taking Redding's seat. 

[KingTJ]

Exceĺlent race from Dovi...great to hold his nerve on the last few and keep keep MM out on the last few laps especially on those left handers. I must say mich greater ride from Lorenzo. Rossi, oh Rossi, what can I say....Yamaha is struggling to be competitive at the moment..They cant remain the same otherwise the season is lost.

[KingTJ]

Oh yeah great to see Binder in 7th. Hopefully he can build on this.

 

Does anyone know what happened to Darren Binder, he was missing from the Moto3 race and didnt do qualifying?

[bertusras]

Does anyone know what happened to Darren Binder, he was missing from the Moto3 race and didnt do qualifying?

 

He's out injured. Meanwhile a 16 year old rookie was on his bike and mixed it with the front runners.

[mazambaan]

Exciting MGP race but could of ended in tears all round. George put ears on quite a few people, least of all the haters.

[Popit]

What a race .....

MM93 on a bit of a roll .

Dovi withstood the MOST amount of pressure and conquered .

He is a serious threat in this title fight !!

[Steven Knoetze (sk27)]

Reckon it is MM's championship to lose.

He is looking supremely confident on that Honda now. Puts it where he wants with ease.

The Yammies are really struggling. Maybe Jorge was a better development rider than he was given credit for...........

[bertusras]

Maybe Jorge was a better development rider than he was given credit for...........

 

http://i.imgur.com/MM5h4Yk.gif