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Do all Hubbers end up in Hell?


"Stevens"

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Man you make me feel better.

 

I know I have a problem, I don't believe my own reasons for buying stuff anymore - but I can't stop. I am addicted to coffee and bikestuff. It keeps me fit and healthy.

 

If this is Hell - so be it.

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The amount I spend on my one and only love is plenty of R200 bills! If I had to extrapolate to 6 bikes...!?

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I consider myself 'on the road to recovery' (I'll take my road bike for that trip) because I am down to only one road bike and one mountain bike and only half the garage is filled with bike parts...but who knows, I have my eye on some stuff that I am sure I just need ;)

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"My bike only cost me ten thousand darling ....." Ok I will buy you that handbag since it's so cheap at five thousand ..."

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Hell is here already ..... try getting decent 26'er trail tyres from a typical LBS in this country

 

You know where to look...

 

And OP, (one of my versions of) hell is being with someone who won't let me buy bikes.

 

All a matter of perspective I guess.

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An old favourite of mine:

 

The Situation in Hell
Essays

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why last night Teresa kept shouting "Oh, my God!"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".

 

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An old favourite of mine:

 

 

The Situation in Hell

 

 

Essays

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why last night Teresa kept shouting "Oh, my God!"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".

 

Whether or not it was a student, I am amazed at how clever and witty some people are. Very funny.
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  • 2 weeks later...

Man you make me feel better.

I know I have a problem, I don't believe my own reasons for buying stuff anymore - but I can't stop. I am addicted to coffee and bikestuff. It keeps me fit and healthy.

If this is Hell - so be it.

Agree, buying cycling stuff is a way putting pressure one oneself to become "faster" Buying new stuff when a new goal was reached played a major tole in my weight loss back in 2013. Also a good way to get away with it is to play the health card when the wife queries the constant spending...

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I started building my own stuff about two years ago......Now I own 6 bikes across the spectrum....three were new, my first three bikes, none standard anymore......

 

My point is that after each nearly completed build.....I promise my wife that there woun't be another....

I have not even completed bike 6 yet....although ridable, and I have plans for bike 7.

 

When will the deceit end?....when will I stop buying wheels i have no use for, brake sets, tyres I woun't race with?

Will it stop.....or will we end up in hell?

 

From the Velominati rules...

Rule #

12// 
The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.

While the minimum number of bikes one should own is three, the correct number is n+1, where n is the number of bikes currently owned. This equation may also be re-written as s-1, where s is the number of bikes owned that would result in separation from your partner.

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Hell is not having money to spend on bikes.

Having to spend money on apparent important things like the children's education, and food.

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