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Cycling No Nos!


Patchelicious

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Is this a cat walk or a mtb/cycle group??? If you judge others by what they wear on a bike... then rather keep quiet and focus on your 10km ride ahead!!!

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Leapfrogging

 

Cyclists that overtake me like Kittel

Then, rolling at my steady tempo, find them exhausted and going slooow a few hundred meters on

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Halfwheeling

Agree, should be confined to the untimed 10km fun race only, and they should be in Z-batch

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like this,first ascent also make one.

Atomic also has a good quality skull cap... works well too

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I have yet to figure out why, but I find it annoying if randoms start drafting me while out on a LSD.

 

It in no way detracts from my ride, but sjoe it winds me up.

 

Don't draft strangers!! ;) it's s training ride, don't make it easier for yourself that's cheating ;)

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I am obviously the biggest cycling faux pas around...

I am also very sorry if my foreskin has offended you

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and while we're listing no-no's....recreational mountainbikers who wear road kit.

 

I'm talking about those weekend warriors at northern farms who wear lycra so tight you can tell if they are circumcised, complete with tan-lines etc.

wake up people, mountainbikers abroad have started wearing loose fitting non-douche-looking clothing over a decade ago.

 

 

I blame SA dirt-roadie culture that perpetuates the myth that if you are not training for a stage-race, you're not having fun 

Hmm

 

Go and do a multi day ride when it is a bit wet and muddy - and you will find out how much mud and dirt accumulate in the crack of your baggy shorts and how that grinds your galas (flesh in between holes for a translation if needed - galas + vel tussen gat en balas)to paste.

 

And when you come in bow legged and walking like you have been on the camel for two days without water - then you will know why you wear Lycra.

 

Firstly its practical from a hygiene point of view.

 

Secondly any bib keeps the chamois in place - but you only care about this on distance rides.

 

Third it doesn't hook up on the nose of the seat when moving around at speed when going downhill (like a good mate of mine who bought a piece of the farm because of his baggies catching on the saddle nose and he couldn't get back on the bike (before droppers) found out).

 

I have yet to find any baggies without a Lycra insert that truly keeps the padding in pace.

 

And when you talk MTBer's abroad - what discipline are you talking?

 

Firstly you are admitting you are a fashion queen lead by overseas trends.

 

Be specific.

 

DO what fits the discipline you are riding.

 

And your wallet.

 

Most folks cant afford to be the fashion stakes and have one or two pairs of shorts (or at least good ones as they cost a lot)

 

So If you are on Whistler/Morzine/DH and riding chair lifts and flat pedals then yes its all baggies and pads and full face helmets as Lycra doesn't make sense. Try get pads under Lycra

 

Olympic XC - well they all wear Lycra.

 

So careful about your fashion queen/ramp model sensitivities on the trail.

 

What fits on the catwalks of Whistler and Morzine may not be appropriate in the bushes of Africa.

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Guest notmyname

Hmm

 

Go and do a multi day ride when it is a bit wet and muddy - and you will find out how much mud and dirt accumulate in the crack of your baggy shorts and how that grinds your galas (flesh in between holes for a translation if needed - galas + vel tussen gat en balas)to paste.

 

And when you come in bow legged and walking like you have been on the camel for two days without water - then you will know why you wear Lycra.

 

Firstly its practical from a hygiene point of view.

 

Secondly any bib keeps the chamois in place - but you only care about this on distance rides.

 

Third it doesn't hook up on the nose of the seat when moving around at speed when going downhill (like a good mate of mine who bought a piece of the farm because of his baggies catching on the saddle nose and he couldn't get back on the bike (before droppers) found out).

 

I have yet to find any baggies without a Lycra insert that truly keeps the padding in pace.

 

And when you talk MTBer's abroad - what discipline are you talking?

 

Firstly you are admitting you are a fashion queen lead by overseas trends.

 

Be specific.

 

DO what fits the discipline you are riding.

 

And your wallet.

 

Most folks cant afford to be the fashion stakes and have one or two pairs of shorts (or at least good ones as they cost a lot)

 

So If you are on Whistler/Morzine/DH and riding chair lifts and flat pedals then yes its all baggies and pads and full face helmets as Lycra doesn't make sense. Try get pads under Lycra

 

Olympic XC - well they all wear Lycra.

 

So careful about your fashion queen/ramp model sensitivities on the trail.

 

What fits on the catwalks of Whistler and Morzine may not be appropriate in the bushes of Africa.

I wouldn't pay much attention. There's a big chance that Satan is giving him up hill and he's just venting.

 

Ps: I smell a spruit rat.

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Leapfrogging

 

Cyclists that overtake me like Kittel

Then, rolling at my steady tempo, find them exhausted and going slooow a few hundred meters on

interval training?
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The biggest no-no is hatin' on what other cyclists do.

 

In the same vein, caring what other people think ..... I'm way to old to worry about what people think. 

 

Having said that I'm sure that as stated these articles etc. are not meant to be taken seriously and it's up to you whether you get offended or not, as the OP said 'Disclaimer, don't take life too seriously when reading this:'

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