popcorn_skollie Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Reminds me of a joke For those of you who have lived in Natal, you know how typical this is.They actually have a Curry Cook-off about June/July. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Royal Show in PMB.Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting from America.Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Beer Garden when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.Here are the scorecard notes from the event:CURRY # 1 - SEELAN'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY...Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.Judge # 2 -- Nice smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.CHILI #2 - PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN CURRY...Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chili tang.Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver! They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.CURRY # 3 - SHAMILA'S FAMOUS "BURN DOWN THE GARAGE" CURRY...Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick.Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of chili peppers.Judge # 3 -- Call 911. I've located uranium’s pill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pissed from all the beer.
popcorn_skollie Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Crumpets. Can't be a nice crumpet. With butter, syrup and blueberries!
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 At risk of going off topic, Woolworths Onion Marmalade when making any sandwich. http://www.woolworths.co.za/store/prod/Food/Food/Food-Cupboard/Jams-Honey-Spreads/Preserves-Marmalade/Onion-Marmalade-300g/_/A-20177096Contemplated making my own, but then realised how much sugar it needs!!!
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 I only have some chilli bomb and facing heaven growing at the moment, Need to get some more soon. O and I have some moruga scorpions in the freezer if you interested.Do you have any seeds? And I am definitely interested, man...
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 We use to grow the bell shaped habaneros. They came in various colours and potencies. I always thought habaneros were as potent as chillis could get. But apparently the strongest is Bhut Jolokia from northern India. Never saw nor tasted them though. It might be worth trying to find out where to get some.Carolina Reaper is officially the hottest in the world. So far... Google the video of 2 okes eating one each.
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Crumpets. Can't beat a nice crumpet.Agreed. Just make sure you get one with sufficient experience. Oh. Wait. You said crumpets, not strumpets.
Eddy Gordo Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Do you have any seeds? And I am definitely interested, man... I only have 2 chillies left but they have been frozen. Do you think the seeds will still germinate.I will try and see if it works.
HappyMartin Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Tobasco is OK for emergencies. I used to carry a bottle in my bag for in case but I got all obsessive about it and kept taking slugs from the bottle. I was quite embarrassed when someone caught me. Felt like an alcoholic so when I finished the last bottle I never replaced it.
Showtime Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Contemplated making my own, but then realised how much sugar it needs!!! Yes I see now it's not 100% banting safe. Still a serious upgrade to any piece of cheese.
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Yes I see now it's not 100% banting safe. Still a serious upgrade to any piece of cheese.Oh absolutely
Thor Buttox Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 Yes I see now it's not 100% banting safe. Still a serious upgrade to any piece of cheese.I discovered in a moment of craziness that salmon pate, that onion marmalade and some mature cheddar tastes awesome. Yes... I know.
Fox3 Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 I'm trying to think of something constructive to say. Some sort of valuable contribution to this thread. And all I can think of is this recipe for koeksisters. You will need: 4 cups cake flour, 2 cups self raising flour, ⅓ cup sugar, 2.5ml salt, 10g (1 pkt) instant yeast, 10 ml fine cardamom, 10ml fine ginger, 10ml fine cinnamon, 10ml aniseed, 1 large egg, 15ml oil, 30ml butter, 1½ cup hot water and 1½ cup) milk. You will need oil for deep frying seperately and some desiccated coconut for sprinkling later. For the syrup you will need: 1 cup sugar, 1 cup water, 1 cinnamon stick and 2 cardamon pods. Mix flour with spices, sugar, yeast and salt. Melt butter in hot water and mix milk. To dry ingredients add egg, oil and milk-water mixture. Mix thoroughly to form a soft smooth dough. Leave to rise for about 1- 2 hours in a warm place. Once risen, moisten hands with oil and roll dough into a sausage shape and cut into 2cm slices. Set aside to rise again. Lightly stretch slices to form an oval shape and deep fry in medium hot oil until golden brown. Remove with a slotted spoon and drain on a paper towel. Making the syrup. Place all the ingredients in a large saucepan and bring to a slow boil, stirring to ensure sugar does not burn. Stir until the sugar syrup becomes slightly sticky. Boil the koeksisters in it for 1- 2 minutes and remove with a slotted spoon. Sprinkle with a little of the dessicated coconut and serve hot with some tea and a good skinne story. KOEKSISTERS!!!!! Nom nom nom!
Fox3 Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 'tsek jou NAAI! 'tsek jou NAAI! The wine just came out my nose!!! Bwahahahaha. Thanks
fabes Posted August 31, 2016 Posted August 31, 2016 12 pages of trolling Glad to see the Mods have lightened up a lot around here. The hub might be fun again
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