These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. [i doubt that is true, but we can pretend.] · The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I’d give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I’d drink it." · A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress." · "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr · "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill · "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow · "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). · "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas · "I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain · "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde · "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response. · "I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop · "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright · "I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb · "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson · "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating · "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand · "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker · "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain · "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West · "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde · "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912) · "He has Van Gogh’s ear for music." - Billy Wilder · "I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it." - Groucho Marx
