My wife hates my cycling

[deanbean]

Found this on the net today, don't know if it's been posted but;

A Post-Nuptial Agreement

for the Bicycle Rider

byAnonymous

This agreement acknowledges that the forthcoming marriage is a legal arrangement that accepts the perpetual continuity of a pre-existing relationship between two parties and that a three-way coexistence shall be created consisting of the following participating parties: Spouse A (the loving, non-bicycle rider), hereafter referred to as SA; Spouse B (the loving, bicycle rider), hereafter referred to as SB; and The Bike (the all-beautiful, glorious one), hereafter referred to as TB.

http://www.bikereader.com/BR%20pics/ring.jpg

Condition I

Acknowledgement: SA shall henceforth recognize that SB and TB have forged a long-standing relationship and unbreakable bond. Efforts or attempts to alienate, separate, or to divide permanently or temporarily, regardless of circumstances, shall never occur.

Condition II

Cohabitation: SA and SB shall agree upon comfortable and equal living quarters for TB, its related service equipment and riding gear. TB shall only be exposed to the elements of Nature during outdoor rides. All other times, TB shall have access to warm, dry, low traffic living space with complete protection from any and all physical harm. If at any time there is a conflict with SA, SB, furniture or other objects, TB shall have absolute precedence of its desired stationary location. In the event SA is absent overnight or longer, TB shall be permitted bedroom space (if not already arranged).

Condition III

Exclusivity and Infidelity: At no time shall TB be ridden by anyone other than the parties of this agreement, without the sole permission of SB. SA must request permission from SB to ride or attempt physical contact with TB and shall only do so in the presence of SB.

Condition IV

Equal time: SA shall be guaranteed equal, quality time with SB, equivalent to time spent with TB unless it conflicts with TB; in which case TB has absolute preference. Evening hours of darkness, rain or any weather conditions which may be considered undesirable by non-bikers, does not offer SA preferential status if SA and TB view these moments to train for these possible weather conditions. Maintenance-service time shall be as determined by SB and shall not be interfered with by SA or others, without approval of SB. In the event of an emergency (i.e., SA needs assistance; child sets hair on fire, etc.) SB shall complete any or all TB related activities as soon as possible and, then and only then shall SB be expected to address said emergency. In the event of distress, a visit by In-laws, need of stress relief or other moments of depression, SB shall be permitted as much time with TB (or TB related activities), magazines, books, events, etc. as necessary for SB to return his/her emotional status to an uplifting and happy mode.

Condition V

Parties SA and SB shall agree that SB will be permitted and encouraged to purchase any and all TB related equipment at any and all times, whether the aforementioned be repairs, replacements, upgrades or just cosmetic. Any replacement parts shall be considered cherished spares and provided adequate, preferential storage space equivalent to conditions set to TB; preferably under the bed, favorite closet or placed on the coffee table for a conversation item. Coffee table books, such as but not limited to, the biographies of Greg Lemond, Eddy Merckx, Fausto Coppi, or any history of the Tour de France, shall retain prominent placement on said table; free from possible damage related to the displayed replacement part.

Newly installed items on TB shall immediately require TB to be prominently placed on display as the focal point of the household (i.e., in front of the television). Newly purchased items, which have not been installed, shall be openly displayed as a centerpiece, to be seen and envied by all visitors. Said item shall be allowed to be placed under SB's pillow during the sleeping hours unless it is potentially harmful to said item.

This provision shall be enforced until the installation is complete. Mental, physical or marital interventions shall not be exercised to install the item until SB is ready to perform this action. Only SB shall be the deciding party in this determination and there shall be no compromise.

Condition VI

Finances: All household finances shall be considered separate from TB finances. If Conflicts should arise, TB gets preference.

Condition VII

Disposition: In the event SA has a compatible bicycle, SB can offer spare parts to be temporarily installed for use by SA, until such time when SB requires their use on TB. Advance notice of this return is not required. All equipment of and for the use of TB by SB shall remain the sole property of SB come Hell or high water and shall not be relinquished under any circumstances, Courts of Law, moments of contesting spousal madness and death of SB. In the event of the death of SB, SA will be obligated to complete the upgrades (expressed, implied or dreamed of) and bury the bicycle with the departed. Should SB have previously requested a separate grave for TB, SB and TB will be buried side-by-side in separate caskets, in a common, doublewide grave. A common headstone shall be placed centrally at the head of the grave and the complete identification of TB's frame, components, wheels and tyres shall be engraved on the head stone. Tyres shall be inflated to full-recommended psi ratings prior to placing in the casket. In the event of the later death of SA, burial of SA shall be adjacent to SB, not TB.

Condition VIII

Protected Communications: All TB related communications intended for SB, be they voice (telephone messages, visitors, etc.); print (mail-order catalogues, product mailings, etc.) or electronic (email, voice-mail, buddies calling to ride, etc.), shall be promptly expedited to SB. Furthermore, no censorship of said communications shall ever occur and SA agrees to refrain from making disparaging comments about the content of these communications and/or their source(s). Improper language (i.e., cursing) is prohibited in the household and outdoors in the presence of TB; this is especially important if the curse words are of Italian origin. Italian is never to be spoken unless the speaker is fluent; however if the components are Shimano, then English is the preferred language of communication and Italian is forbidden to be spoken.

Extended Conditions: TB shall never be subjected to be the focus or object of a disagreement, or be introduced as part of said disagreement. Conversations relating to TB shall always be of praise and admiration; visitors, including in-laws, who are not in agreement with this condition, are banished from the household of SB, TB and SA forever until they come to their senses.

 

All of the above conditions, in whole or part, are forever to be considered ironclad, irrevocable and nonnegotiable.

Signed

Party SA_____________________________

Party SB_____________________________

Date:________/_________/_________

 

<a name="01">* If you know who wrote this, please let us know.

http://www.bikereader.com/contributors/misc/postnup.html

 

Might help you

[neildp]

Chaps, have a loo at a product called the Riksha, it's a south african designed bike trailer, and it doubles up as a really good stroller. It connect really easily to your bike, and has a swivel pivot, enabling the trailer to stay upright even if you fall. You can ride loads, with your kid safely behind you...

Check out http://www.riksha.co.za

[javadude]

Chaps, have a loo at a product called the Riksha, it's a south african designed bike trailer, and it doubles up as a really good stroller. It connect really easily to your bike, and has a swivel pivot, enabling the trailer to stay upright even if you fall. You can ride loads, with your kid safely behind you...

Check out http://www.riksha.co.za

 

They should make a bigger one so that W@nnabe can fit his wife in it.

[Capcha]

Ok , try this .

 

It's a win win for both of you . I got two kids too and my wife as I said gives my no crap about riding , I been doing it for 25 odd years and we been together for 9 odd.

 

Ride early mornings in the week , and on weekends do the same , but tell her that she needs her " me time too" so when you get back from riding she must go out with mates for tea, shopping something to have her own time/ hobbies ect , then when she is back its your time with her.

 

Take her to dinner , movie out to flea markets something to break the routine of you riding coming home and then some .

 

Make her feel special as she is letting you ride and you appreciate it , show her this .

Also get her involved in a hobby she likes and then support it 100 % .

Tx Dr Phil.

['Dale]

 

 

They should make a bigger one so that W@nnabe can fit his wife in it.

 

 

Bwahhaha!!

[W@nna-BE]

They should make a bigger one so that W@nnabe can fit his wife in it.

 

hahaha classic!

[fandacious]

Chaps, have a loo at a product called the Riksha, it's a south african designed bike trailer, and it doubles up as a really good stroller. It connect really easily to your bike, and has a swivel pivot, enabling the trailer to stay upright even if you fall. You can ride loads, with your kid safely behind you...

Check out http://www.riksha.co.za

 

neil - theres no pricing on your website. I dont want to have to email or phone someone to find out how much the product on their website costs

[neildp]

Riksha's are currently on special, R3400, including nationwide delivery. We're re-doing our website, hope to have a online order sytem running within the next week.

[Wyatt Earp]

If your wife leaves you for another man, you messed up, but if she leaves you for another goose, that's when you take an opener to your mind

[fandacious]

Riksha's are currently on special, R3400, including nationwide delivery. We're re-doing our website, hope to have a online order sytem running within the next week.

 

cool - thanks!

[arendoog]

Pregnant woman are forgetfull .So if she is pregnant all the time she wont notice you and the bike missing from the garage

[Iron]

Pregnant woman are forgetfull .So if she is pregnant all the time she wont notice you and the bike missing from the garage

 

You forget that when they pregnant they are also hormonally suicidal .

 

Be warned

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

You forget that when they pregnant they are also hormonally suicidal .

 

Be warned

 

I can vouch for that. And the suicide almost always happens to the husband. It's a highly assisted suicide, mind...

[arendoog]

I am left alone if i ride with my kids .My daughter and i are doing the nissan trailseeker tomorrow so i i will have some points for +- 2 weeks

[Andro]

If your wife leaves you for another man, you messed up, but if she leaves you for another goose, that's when you take an opener to your mind

 

No... If she left you.. you might just be better off.

 

Been through this excersize.

 

Please note not all women are the same - meaning "bad", some, like some men can just tap the crap out off you.

 

Get over it and harden the F up...

[Mountainman44]

I only started cyclings after 6 years with my current wife. She was immediately very jealous and suspicious, thinking that I was bonking some chick in the bushes next to the road.

She quickly saw the mood swings between a happily trained husband and the unhappy bastard when he did not get out for a ride.

 

I eventually had her try it, and although she is quite a fit gym babe, the effect of cycling blew her mind. She is not hooked as much as I am, still a bit scared of the technical side of tracks and races, but she will be doing her second 20km Nissan Trailseeker tomorrow.

 

I do try to plan my training times for when she is asleep or otherwise busy, and I do take her and the kids out on training rides as well.

 

Big selling point is that mountain biking is much more of a family pass time / sport than golf( which I have almost totally let go now), or other team sports where you can not really get the whole family involved.

 

She has now embraced the fact that cycling is part of my life and that there is a lot more fun to be had if she joins in on her own terms with the kids also coming along for the total family experience.