Tuxstir Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 i dont usually ask for advice on cycling matters, but for the first time in many a year ive been stumped. My better half has an insane fear of cycling stemming from a childhood crash into a wall. I have been trying to reteach her how to ride a bike. now ive followed the following steps Step 1: get bikeStep 2: get HelmetStep 3: fit bike and helmetStep 4: find open stretch of lawn. and this is where it all falls to piecesonce on the bike she starts to freak out. never mind when it starts to move... and at walking pace she has a full blown panic attack. how do i get her to get the confidence to get going?ive been cycling for way to long to even remotely understand her fear..please please please help..
HappyMartin Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 I don't think this is a cycling issue as much as a psychological issue. Not trying to be funny but if a person has a fear of flying I don't think you go to a pilot or a flying academy to help with the fear.
Tuxstir Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 Happy margin, yes it's a psychological issue,she wants to ride but can't, my question which obviously failed to put through is how the hell to get her over her fear...
HappyMartin Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 My answer is to talk to people who deal with fears. Not with people who deal with cycling. I mean talk to a professional. A psychologist. They have methods and techniques.
BenReaper Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 Get a tandem,tape her hands and feet to the bike and dont stop riding until she stops screaming.[emoji48] Seriously though,I think you should follow HappyMartins advise,find someone who can help her overcome her psycological fear of cycling.
Mntboy Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 A +1 from me on getting her to see a psychologist. Also go along with her to those appointments, it can only strengthen your relationship.
Tuxstir Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 My better half ask me if she could reply so her she is Fear is not a bad thing. Fear often protects us from harm. If fear was a real psychological problem, every female who shrieks at the sight of a spider would need to sit down opposite a shrink. For me, my fear is based from the pain experienced in early childhood. It is not irrational. It does not hamper my daily life. I understand my other half's concern, because I know he wants to protect me. Please stop telling me my fear is crazy and rather come up with ideas on how I can settle it.
Tayyib Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 As a do it yourself method I'd say find an open field....drop the seat right down and remove the pedals so her feet are on the ground...let her use it at a push bike like one would teach a toddler. ..her feet being on the ground will hopefully give security and you can take it from there.....sounds silly but may work.
V12man Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 I suppose then question is whether she really wants to try ride or not - ifnits her idea then she needs to see a counsellor or psychologist to assist with the techniques of managing the fear to a level where she can manage to move forward. I would suggest that you ping hubber Pchyco - (spelling might be a bit off) or pm me and I will ask my wife for a reference to someone in your area - sure she will know someone with the right experience to help her. She is definately not crazy - you on the other hand might be... Good luck - hope you come right with it.
HappyMartin Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 My better half ask me if she could reply so her she isI never said fear is bad. I never said it was irrational and I never said fear didn't have a purpose. In fact no one on this thread said that and no one implied it that I can see. Your wife said to stop saying her fear is crazy. No one said that. I also never said see a shrink. Shrink is a disparaging term that implies everyone that sees one is crazy. I said try getting some help from a psychologist. A person trained to help us deal with and overcome behavior patterns that limit us and prevent us achieving our full potential. Advice to see a psychologist was not meant to disparage or insult. It was meant to help. To me it's simple. This is a real problem and if you want a real solution. You can do better than to ask unknown, untrained people on the web that don't know you or your wife. A fear or phobia as a result of trauma is as real as a broken bone resulting from trauma. Treat it with respect and deal with it effectively.
porqui Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 I can understand having developed a fear after a crash. I also agree that fear is a good thing in some instances. However an unreasonable fear is not good. I suggest that she does get help and that in itself is not unusual. Plenty of people suffer from all sorts of fears and many get helped past their fears. Good luck and sterkte. Just remember to her the fear is real even if you do not understand it.
Uni Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 fear is based from the pain experienced in early childhood. It is not irrational. It does not hamper my daily life. I understand my other half's concern, because I know he wants to protect me. Please stop telling me my fear is crazy and rather come up with ideas on how I can settle it. The ppl suggesting you see professional help really are just trying to help, not saying you belong in a looney bin. From your partners description, having a full blown panic attack on a bicycle may while riding slowly may not hamper life, but it's obviously hampering you getting back on the bike. As someone who's *** scared of getting hurt .. Know this. Riding your bike .. You will fall. It may be bruises, it may be broken bones. Sometimes it hurts physically, sometimes it's the ego. My OH toppled over today on a jeep track, when he simply lost concentration... If you can accept that, continue reading... If not, maybe cycling us not for you. If you're keen to keep at it, get yourself some elbow/knee guards, this might help psychologically. Then find someone not emotionally vested to help you. Learning from a loved one always seems harder. Good luck.
RockCoach Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 A few years ago I helped a lady who was in a similar situation to your other half. The only difference was that that she had never learnt to ride even as a child and had developed a fear of riding a bicycle - similar to how an adult who never learnt to swim has a fear of water. This is good advice...As a do it yourself method I'd say find an open field....drop the seat right down and remove the pedals so her feet are on the ground...let her use it at a push bike like one would teach a toddler. ..her feet being on the ground will hopefully give security and you can take it from there.....sounds silly but may work.Exactly what I did. What I would add to the above...Find a gentle grassy slope as you need a little momentum. You need to teach proper braking from low speed and stopping to the side right from the beginning. You also need to talk through the fears as they arise. Usually more than one fear. By far the most important point is commitment and perseverance from student (she's going to have to want to overcome) and patience without a hint of frustration from the teacher. Thus build up a relationship of trust. It took a while before I even put pedals on the bike but she now happily rides her MTB on easy single track trails. If you want, I can put you in touch with this lady after I have her permission of course. Just PM me.
NukeproofPeanut Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 I like the push bike idea. So thinking outside the box on this one.. could it be taken further and actually practice 'bailing' off the bike to overcome the fear. I'm not talking about pushing into a wall! More like sit next to a grassy embankment and just kinda fall into it sideways like all the people do with clipless pedals?
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