WTF type crashes

[No Hare]

Beginning of last year

Commuting in poor light e.g. dark

Coming down a hill I connect with something, turned out to be a ninja 'ucker.

Face planted and fractured my jaw and lost 4 teeth. Permanently imprinting my face unto the guys scull. 

 

 

 

Bike Damage: minor 
Physical Pain: 9/10
Medical cost: R 34000.00 odd

 

 

 

[FlandersZA]

I was doing a sneaky week day spruit ride with my boet and as we left Emmarentia it started belting with rain. Soaked to the core, we crossed the concrete bridge at Old Parks and continued north. A section I'd done a hundred times before was now completely flooded with water but "no problem," I thought, "I got this!", as I barreled onward. The dip, with its familiar suspension-squeezing 'U' shaped trough suddenly became very unfamiliar as my front wheel slammed dead, beyond axle deep, into its now very much 'V' shaped trough - eroded by the sudden downpour. Blasted out of my cleats I was, as I surged through the air in a spectacular high speed OTB.

 

The only sound louder than the breath being expelled from my chest cavity as it made violent contact with terra firma was the sound of my brother's laughter coming from behind me as he rode up to recount the tale of the banana in my riding pack being launched into orbit as my groin merged with stem.

 

One consolation to the whole thing was that the hissing sound I'd immediately heard after the crash turned out not to be a shredded tire as I'd feared but rather a punctured can of coke acting as a second stage to the banana rocket in my backpack.

 

I got out of that one relatively unscathed in the end and although I can't be sure, I'm willing to bet that my first words as I scraped myself off the ground that day were "What...the...fsck?". So, probably a reasonable qualifier for this thread then?  

[Jimmy 2.0]

Did a 2M bridge jump about 3months ago. My front wheel just when straight down while I was getting airtime due to me not getting my balance right on my bike while in the air. Overshot the landing and ended up landing on the back of my left shoulder. Had one bike roastie on my back! I knew the bike was perfectly fine because it landed on top of me????

[intern]

My very first time to Jonkershoek a few years ago, so was not sure where to go. At first I started heading up to the right of the valley towards Firehut, when I met a rider who told me to rather go to the otherside of the valley, and pointed me back down. 

 

So I get back down to just before the entrance and head towards the gate to the road that goes towards the left (North) of the valley towards canaries. The gate is closed, and there is a gap in the fence just to the left of the gate for riders and walkers to pass through. I was not going fast at all, and as I'm approaching the gap, my front wheel washes out from under me (still don't know how). I hit the pole holding the gate and hit the ground rather hard. I get up and start dusting my self off when I look at my arm. There is a huge rip in my arm. As I fell, my arm hit the threaded bar that attaches the gate to the fence post and it ripped (not cut) the arm open. There was just a couple of centimeters of the threaded bar sticking out.

 

Not even 5 minutes into my first ride at Jonkershoek. Ended up having 8 stitches in my arm, but luckily no damage to the bike. To this day, I still do not know how my front wheel washed out.

Reading that made my bum hurt.

[intern]

the tale of the banana in my riding pack being launched into orbit as my groin merged with stem.

the banana rocket in my backpack.

 

Crashing is hell on your banana.

[NicoBoshoff]

Jeez, someone rename this thread Frikkie's Funniest Home Videos 

[Ed-Zulu]

Here you go version 2.0. This was a long lost one that I just kept between all my ride videos on my external, but I broke it out just for you

 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BW-hhOth9vG/

Spectacular   :clap:  

[Paul Ruinaard]

MY WTF Crash:

 

On Northern Farm on the lekker piece of single track down on the Jukskei river just below Lanseria. Drop in down the little bank, sharp left and through the trees, which needs a bit of horsepower to get going nicely.

 

As i stand to pedal, the wheels fall squarely between the exposed roots that have been eroded out by recent rains.

 

The bike stops dead and i catapult over the bars in full power stroke, face planting on the other side whilst leaving a shimano shifter tattooed over my left leg.  Whilst i am standing there licking my wounds (i moved to the side ) another guy comes along and does exactly the same thing. I pissed myself at him and then had to backtrack when he was pretty angry - telling him that i had done exactly the same thing about 5 minutes before.

 

Thing is the ruts were perfectly spaced for 29er wheels and it was in a position where you were just shifting your weight forward to put power down. I am not sure how many bikes it swallowed but it was lots as they have now bridged it with some trees.

 

The real WTF moment was  a week later, when I was completely aware of the ruts, I tried to adopt a different technique to get over them and i did it all again. Same crash, same bruises. 

 

I was properly angry. I went to the car park and went home. I didnt tell anyone until now....

 

 

 

 

[Warthog]

Also went into a drain.

 

Waiting for some people I decided not to clip out but rather hold on to a chevron sign next to the road.

As I pushed against it, the sign fell over as it wasnt firmly planted. 

 

Ended up in the drain with the sign and my bike.

Luckily no damage done just a couple of scratches.

 

      Just spilt coffee on my keyboard....

 

Edit - wrong word choice

[MutantBear]

[Paul Ruinaard]

So i am now WABing - Work Avoidance Behaviour - cause this is so funny.

 

Other WTF moments:

 

1.) Powered on to lift the front wheel up a kerb whilst coming down the spruit. Chain snapped. Front wheel hit the sharp edge of the kerb. I shot over the bars, tyre burped (old tubeless conversion) off the rim and got a flat in the process. It took my riding mates about 15 minutes to recover their composure and help me repair the damage.

 

2.) We used to have as ection in Midrand where a pit bull chased us down the fence. WTF moment was when, little did we know the gate on the other end of the property was open. All fun and games until the fence ended and we got to the gate, then the sprint competition ensued as he was now in the road with us. Frantic downshifting and standing up, followed by grunts and downward looks at those jaws. Nervous laughter when you had escaped and he had given up chase. 

 

The dog was there every weekend so we eventually worked out a technique to herd the latest noob riding with us closest to the fence when we got there. By the time he realized what was happening everybody else was already 20 metres ahead of him up the road. It worked a treat. Lots of frantic screaming and shouting followed by the best sprint you have ever seen.

 

The thing was the dog never bit us or any bikes, he was also i think up for the game. He was there for multiple Saturdays, every time with the gate open. Every time we all went silent as we got to that section and lined up the sacrifice for the day. Many guys reckon it was their highest heart rate ever...

 

 

 

[Omumborombonga]

 

Go Pro: Making embarrassing moments last forever. 

[madbradd]

My most WTF crash (as all of my crashes have been WTF ones) was on the spruit riding north towards William Nicol, approaching the stream crossing when you still needed to portage. Ride down the rooty section to unclip at the bottom..... Stopped at the bottom and didn't unclip. Fell to the left but luckily only fell halfway as there was a nice rock to put my shoulder against. It was at exactly the right height and pedal position so that my left foot couldn't unclip because my heel got stuck between the ground and pedal. It was also just high enough so that I couldn't put my hand on the ground. So there I lay, stuck in my bike against a rock while my mates just laughed at me trying to escape my self-made prison!

[Uni]

all my crashes are WTF crashes 

my best being standing chatting to a doggie owner on the Spruit, her big dog comes bounding up, his tail wagging happily he actually pushes me over (I was straddling my bike) - you can't make that **** up. 

[Warren_G]

While riding over an over bridge railway crossing in Parden Eiland I attempted a little pavement jump at like 15km/h but got it wrong, couldn't uncleat in time (cleat plate was actually loose!) fell to the left and when realised I was stuck on the bike i decided to stick my arm out and grab a vertical bar on the fence...I missed, my arm went through the fence and continued falling until my arm hit the bottom horizontal bar...SNAP!http://www.capesteel.co.za/pics/Palisade-Fencing/palisade-fencing-3.gif

[Piston ZA]

While riding over an over bridge railway crossing in Parden Eiland I attempted a little pavement jump at like 15km/h but got it wrong, couldn't uncleat in time (cleat plate was actually loose!) fell to the left and when realised I was stuck on the bike i decided to stick my arm out and grab a vertical bar on the fence...I missed, my arm went through the fence and continued falling until my arm hit the bottom horizontal bar...SNAP!http://www.capesteel.co.za/pics/Palisade-Fencing/palisade-fencing-3.gif

You win!

 

That sent shivers up my spine