The Dad thread

[JJ]

I thought of starting this thread for Dads/fathers new and old, to one and to 12. To be a place where they can ask for advice, share ideas and just talk about the role as a father in todays society. 

I'm going to be a first time father and thought a place where I can ask for advice in a " like-minded" community would be amazing and would possibly benefit a number of people. They say it takes a village to raise a child and some of us don't really have a "village". So let this be The Bikehub Fatherhood Village. 

 

This does not exclude anyone to be part of the conversation. 

[The Ouzo]

This is the same advise I give to all first time parents. 
 

you will get tons of solicited and unsolicited advise, enough to confuse the crap out of you. 
Remember all of it, but use only what works for you. 
everykid is the same, in that they are different, and every family is unique. What works for one won’t work for another. 

[JJ]

3 minutes ago, ouzo said:

This is the same advise I give to all first time parents. 
 

you will get tons of solicited and unsolicited advise, enough to confuse the crap out of you. 
Remember all of it, but use only what works for you. 
everykid is the same, in that they are different, and every family is unique. What works for one won’t work for another. 

Great piece of advice. Thanks for sharing. 

[MTBeer]

never let your baby sleep in your bed with you. get them in their own bed from day 1. you'll thank me later.

[fanievb]

the terrible two's is a walk in the park....

[Frosty]

[The Ouzo]

ok now that I'm infront of a PC

 

Firstly congrats.

 

Secondly, you dont need every single gadget that says baby on it. You also dont need the biggest and best of everything.

But, if the plan is to have more kids down the line, for the stuff you land up using the most, make sure to get something that you can keep and use for the next kid too.

 

Be aware, if it says baby or wedding the price goes up 10 fold, there are a number of items you can get that are not baby branded that will do the job.

[PhilipV]

Congrats! 

To add to Ouzo's advice: the baby gadget market is insane, and they prey on fear. "If you don't buy THIS sippy cup, your child WILL choke and die. "

But fear not, babies are pretty rugged. Hulle is gebou om te hou. 

Trust your instinct, and your wife's. If something feels off, go with your gut. 

Don't be afraid to phone a friend with kids at 3am when baby has been puking non stop or is spiking a fever to ask for advice. We've all had nights like that. You are not alone.

 

 

[Frosty]

I have this response in my drafts, or it popped up when I wanted to reply:

Kids are not porcelain dolls. They will fall, or you might "let them fall"... but they won't break.

I shake my head when I see parents running after their kids trying to prevent them from falling over. Make sure you get the video first, of them falling, and then go give them some puppy love.

[The Ouzo]

6 minutes ago, Frosty said:

I have this response in my drafts, or it popped up when I wanted to reply:

Kids are not porcelain dolls. They will fall, or you might "let them fall"... but they won't break.

I shake my head when I see parents running after their kids trying to prevent them from falling over. Make sure you get the video first, of them falling, and then go give them some puppy love.

This is actually very good advise. And dont take falling very literarily, falling could also mean failing at some task.

[Frosty]

1 hour ago, ouzo said:

This is actually very good advise. And dont take falling very literarily, falling could also mean failing at some task.

That too

[Wayne Potgieter]

On 6/4/2022 at 1:31 AM, ouzo said:

ok now that I'm infront of a PC

 

Firstly congrats.

 

Secondly, you dont need every single gadget that says baby on it. You also dont need the biggest and best of everything.

But, if the plan is to have more kids down the line, for the stuff you land up using the most, make sure to get something that you can keep and use for the next kid too.

 

Be aware, if it says baby or wedding the price goes up 10 fold, there are a number of items you can get that are not baby branded that will do the job.

This.

The best gadget we ever bought was a braun in ear thermometer. The rest was pretty much all a gimmick.

[JJ]

Thanks to everyone for the responses. I am amazed at how my outlook on life changed when I realised I'm going to be a Dad. One realises that you'll never be alone again, in sense that it isn't just the wife and I any more. There will always be another person in the house, and by house I don't always mean the literal structure. 

 

I also never realised how hard it is to get a name we both like and how hard it is to actually give someone a name. 

[The Ouzo]

Just now, JJ said:

I also never realised how hard it is to get a name we both like and how hard it is to actually give someone a name.

look at the name, look at every variation and nickname associated with that name. Look at how it works with your lastname. Look at the initials.

Kids can be cruel, and in school they will pick on anything, names are one of the first places they start.

I'm always amazed when I come across a name or name combination that makes me go "what were your parents thinking?" 

[Stoffel76]

1 hour ago, JJ said:

Thanks to everyone for the responses. I am amazed at how my outlook on life changed when I realised I'm going to be a Dad. One realises that you'll never be alone again, in sense that it isn't just the wife and I any more. There will always be another person in the house, and by house I don't always mean the literal structure. 

 

Lol, true story! My son (8) will often tease his sister (11) and then she'll role her eyes and look at my wife and I and say, "Remember when it was just the 3 of us?" to which I will look at my wife and say, "Remember when it was just the 2 of us??"... And sometimes she'll answer, "No, I can't remember anything BC!" (Before Children) 😄

Congrats JJ - Fatherhood is an amazing journey, savour every moment... because one minute they drinking from a bottle and in nappies, the next they're trying to reason with you why they need a cellphone! 😆

 

[Grumpyoldgit]

You will make mistakes - don't be too hard on youself

They will push the boundaries - don't be too hard on them.

They do grow up too quickly - spend as much time as possible with them and have fun.