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Tell-tale signs your spinning instructor is new to cycling


Peloton Piet
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I am sure many of you have been in the following situation:

 

You walk into the spinning class after the winter break to get the wheels turning again, when suddenly you notice the instructor is/has....

 

1-spinning with tekkies...

2-searching for his backstreet boys cd

3-wears a bright woolly sweatband...

4-has a seat height that can only be described as..wtf

5-instructing a 90 cadence and a 100% resistance on Enya...

 

please feel free to add....

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He/she says "Welcome and bear with me, this is my first class".

No, no, no, that's just new to spinning.

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I am sure many of you have been in the following situation:

 

You walk into the spinning class after the winter break to get the wheels turning again, when suddenly you notice the instructor is/has....

 

1-spinning with tekkies...

2-searching for his backstreet boys cd

3-wears a bright woolly sweatband...

4-has a seat height that can only be described as..wtf

5-instructing a 90 cadence and a 100% resistance on Enya...

 

please feel free to add....

 

Dunno about new to cycling but I have found that some of them are new to the concept of music.

 

You know this when they instruct you to ride on the beat, and demonstrate this by riding with a 90 cadence whilst playing a 130bpm slice of club cheese.

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Be nice.

 

1. Those tekkies are kiff

2. Backstreet boys make passionate music - wiff a beat!!!

3. Gam-gam gave me that seatband and Will Farrel wear one on the cover of semi pro - on sale at the Spar next to my house.

4. I have loong leggese and likes da friktion - gras pol in die hol gevoel!

5. Welome da pain - Enya helps me go to dat special place where I cans like to do 90Rpm at 100% - and get de gras pol gevoel!

 

I dont care who says what. Straight or not - that sweat band is a babe magnet!

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They can't stay properly seated on the bike as they don't pedal in full circles and ease back onto the saddle. Whatever their cadence they bounce on the seat right through the whole class.

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They ask you for tips...

They stop pedaling without a slowdown...

She does not restrain her assets well enough and it is bouncing all over...

They look bewildered when most off the class unclips for the cool down section

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That's why I like the spinning class at Gardens VA on wednesday evenings, and occasionally monday mornings. He's a semi-pro cyclist (just come back from student champs in China) and he used to be a student DJ as well. Plus, it's none of this "get out of the saddle and do calf raises while you're pedalling" ***. Just varied resistance, time trialling, intervals, ladder sessions etc...

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My ex-wife introduced herself at her first spinning class as an instructor thus: "My ex-husband says that he couldn't get 'that bitch on a bike for nine years of marriage; now you can't get her off one…' "

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They ask you for tips...

They stop pedaling without a slowdown...

She does not restrain her assets well enough and it is bouncing all over...

They look bewildered when most off the class unclips for the cool down section

Thats funny!

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Thats funny!

Well have you ever tried sitting in a spinning class with a instructor with assets jumping all over the scene? It is bad. Just to keep all the drool inside your mouth all the time! And to keep the focus on 100%... Impossible

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The instructor changes his shirt in the middle of the class...

 

They turn down the lights during the class...

 

The instructor has a pear of speedo lycra shorts...the one's you buy at Edgards...

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Some musical genres does not evoke any aggression within me, such as any Riverdance song, jazz or the clap-clap song.

 

What also irritates me is the "social" instructor. Almost never on the bike, walking around, shaking hands, asking how you feel while sweat is pouring down your face.

 

Then you get the aggressive types who scream at you if you do not follow their instruction to the letter. Wierdos. I also had the situation where one instructor threatened me because I turned the fan away from a lady who was complaining about the wind directly on her. Not to mention the instructor who refuses to have any fans turned on as he is afraid of getting a cold because of the draft. WTF.

 

Fortunately there are some good ones as well. Thank you Sheryl and Sean.

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Well have you ever tried sitting in a spinning class with a instructor with assets jumping all over the scene? It is bad. Just to keep all the drool inside your mouth all the time! And to keep the focus on 100%... Impossible

 

Impossible, but worth the pain!

The hardest is to keep your pose with all of those mirrors around and pretend you did not notice anything out of the ordinary....Funny that those are exactly the classes always packed with old toppies I have never seen before.. :lol:

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Ondine at VA steenberg is pretty good - the music is decent and she just gets on with the class.

 

I went to her 90 minute session at 5.15 this morning and took my 14 year-old daughter - only her 2nd spinning class and she rode through the whole thing which made me quite proud.

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