I just received this blog from a friend. I have been playing this game for years but did not know the rules and the scoring system or that they even existed. Now I can be a real wannabe. Humour: A Passing Score By Elden "The Fat Cyclist" Nelson http://uk.f231.mailoo/ya/download/uk/ShowLetterbox=Inbox&ampMsgId=8578_7766415_14745_1627_40480_0_850_72542_2185369057&ampbodyPart=2&ampYY=92192&ampy5beta=yes&ampy5beta=yes&amporder=down&ampsort=date&amppos=0&ampview=a&amphead=b&ampIdx=0 Extra points for a friendly slap on the back? (AFP) Editors' note: BikeRadar is pleased to welcome Elden "The Fat Cyclist" Nelson as a weekly columnist. It doesn?t matter whether it?s during a race or a recovery ride. As cyclists, we simply can?t help ourselves. Every time we get near another rider, we must chase them down. And any time we pass another rider, it?s a victory. Just how much of a victory, however, depends on a number of factors. Fortunately for you, I have created an objective and thoroughly scientific method for determining the value of each cyclist you pass. The objective of assessing your passing score for each ride is simple: get as many points as you can on any given ride. Equally simple are the basics ? each time you pass a rider, you get to add one point to your score. Of course, it would be ridiculous for you to get the same credit for passing a four-year-old on training wheels as a semi-pro in a time trial tuck. That?s why you must apply the following score adjustments. And, of course, you must apply these same adjustments in reverse whenever you are passed, subtracting points based on these same factors. Hey, that?s only fair. Let?s begin, shall we? Bike Factors Every cyclist I?ve ever met is confused by the title of Lance Armstrong?s first book, It?s Not About the Bike. ?Well, what else could it possibly be about?? we ask. We?re not being argumentative; we simply just never think about anything else. Naturally, then, the bike your opponent ? that is, the person you?re passing ? is a crucial factor in your score: Legs It?s very nearly creepy how carefully cyclists study one another?s legs. I of course except myself, because I never do this. That said, your passing score relies heavily on the attributes of your opponents legs. Clothing This one?s tricky. The truth is, many riders will wear a jersey in support of their favorite rider or team, and that doesn?t mean anything. Thus, to assess how many points to give yourself for what the cyclist you?re passing is wearing, you must look at the full package: What they say There?s a fair chance that the guy you pass will say something as you go by. This tells you something about how deep the wound has gone ? or, in other words, how complete your victory is. Other Factors There are a few other miscellaneous factors that affect your passing score. Be certain to make a careful note of each of them. Final Results After each ride, be certain to tally your score and then evaluate yourself on the following scale: 50+ points: You are the stage winner. Puff out your chest. Add this score to your race resume, for it is a magnificent accomplishment. 20 ? 49 points: Not a bad ride, but you may want to exaggerate your score when comparing with your friends. Since there?s no way for them to disprove your score, you should feel confident in your ?exaggeration.? Hey, you think your friends aren?t ?augmenting? their scores, too? Fewer than 20 points: You may want to consider changing your training route, so as to encounter different riders. After all, it isn?t how you play the game, it?s whether you win or lose. Elden Nelson blogs most weekdays as The Fat Cyclist, where he posts fake news, fake ideas, and fake insights about things like riding bikes and eating his weight in cheese. I FLY2007-09-19 07:20:55
