Advice on Divorce

[New Landy new life]

How's everyone doing?

Struggeling from day to day. Just waiting for court date now. Wife is asking more money for Son's extra mural trips to competitions that was not mentioned at mediation so now we are fighting again. Eish , Divorce is not for the faint at heart. Edited April 5, 2018 by NoMore Landy

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

good, for the most part. 

 

Not finalised yet, as her witnesses need to initial each page and sign int eh correct places, and they're away at the moment. So it's hit a temporary roadblock, but I'm still pressing forwards with the process. 

 

Financially - meh. VERY tight budget now, as in nothing... but I'm happier. MUCH happier. 

[Stretch]

Struggeling from day to day. Just waiting for court date now. Wife is asking more money for Son's extra mural trips to competitions that was not mentioned at mediation so now we are fighting again. Eish , Divorce is not for the faint at heart.

Request they you pay for them... And make sure you see that they are legit excursions

[Sepia]

good, for the most part. 

 

Not finalised yet, as her witnesses need to initial each page and sign int eh correct places, and they're away at the moment. So it's hit a temporary roadblock, but I'm still pressing forwards with the process. 

 

Financially - meh. VERY tight budget now, as in nothing... but I'm happier. MUCH happier. 

Lekker Myles, glad to hear.  

Happiness first before all else.

 

Landy could do with some of your vibes.

All the best to both of you.

[New Landy new life]

Request they you pay for them... And make sure you see that they are legit excursions

They are legit but one of the reasons for all the strife in our marriage as we could not afford the costs involved with his sport and competition's all over the world that she insisted was part sponsored but turns out very little.

[mon-goose]

They are legit but one of the reasons for all the strife in our marriage as we could not afford the costs involved with his sport and competition's all over the world that she insisted was part sponsored but turns out very little.

This is probably easier to say than actually do. You'll probably have to learn to say no to your kid. Maybe chat to your kids and explain that you simply can't afford it. Eventually they'll understand as well and no just hate you for saying no

[Stretch]

They are legit but one of the reasons for all the strife in our marriage as we could not afford the costs involved with his sport and competition's all over the world that she insisted was part sponsored but turns out very little.

Divorce means that sacrifices need to happen because your are now paying for 2 households. Unfortunately you son suffers.. But your ex should have thought about these consequences. Stand firm and explain that to your son without speaking negatively about your ex.

[New Landy new life]

How is uncle Surfer doing in your  repaired marriage ?

[dev null]

That's the thing about divorce. Everyone just can't go on in their merry ways like before. Everyone must make sacrifices. Even the children.

[Paul Ruinaard]

Was doing pretty well and then last night all of a sardine I dreamt about my old life and wife. I never normally dream but today feeling a bit down. Probably takes time for these episode's to lessen. Even a tough guy can be humbled by the heart I thought I had a tight reign on.

Onward and upward though.

the sub concious has a way of playing things out when it wants to put them away. The feelings that these episodes conjure up are real and probably need you to address them - thats why they are being played back. Sounds like psycho babble but it happened to me lots. 

 

Afterwards i recognized it was all part of the healing 

[New Landy new life]

the sub concious has a way of playing things out when it wants to put them away. The feelings that these episodes conjure up are real and probably need you to address them - thats why they are being played back. Sounds like psycho babble but it happened to me lots.

 

Afterwards i recognized it was all part of the healing

Thanks Paul.

Makes sence

[Honkdonk]

I signed off on my settlement agreement this morning. After nearly 2 years of going back and forth, she, being the plaintiff, backed off a lot of her initial demands. She could have just taken the easy road and not wasted all this time, but I guess these are the hoops we jump through and lessons we learn. We are proceeding with an unopposed divorce.

 

I now have an agreed maintenance amount which I can afford, given my current self employed - read freelance status. I will contribute more when things are going better.

We had an accrual in our ANC (which wasn't very well put together) and it worked in my favor as her estate is worth more than mine (house, business). I never wanted to go after that, but I used it as a bargaining tool for her to back off on some of her batshit crazy demands. The amount is irrelevant really. We came into the marriage on very different levels of adult. She was school, varsity, career whereas I was school, army, technikon, overseas, fart about until I got a full time job at the age of 32. Hence the value of our estates..

 

But we now have closure and are waiting on a court date and will hopefully be done by the end of the month, then we can all get on with our lives and move on.

I need to be the father my children need and want and that relationship has taken a beating over the last 2 years, so there is work to be done on that front. I need to focus on getting my financial affairs in order as this has drained me (being retrenched and going freelance/contractor with no stable income is not for the faint at heart)

 

I had a quiet sob in the car after I left my lawyer this morning. It was very emotional day.

[New Landy new life]

I signed off on my settlement agreement this morning. After nearly 2 years of going back and forth, she, being the plaintiff, backed off a lot of her initial demands. She could have just taken the easy road and not wasted all this time, but I guess these are the hoops we jump through and lessons we learn. We are proceeding with an unopposed divorce.

 

I now have an agreed maintenance amount which I can afford, given my current self employed - read freelance status. I will contribute more when things are going better.

We had an accrual in our ANC (which wasn't very well put together) and it worked in my favor as her estate is worth more than mine (house, business). I never wanted to go after that, but I used it as a bargaining tool for her to back off on some of her batshit crazy demands. The amount is irrelevant really. We came into the marriage on very different levels of adult. She was school, varsity, career whereas I was school, army, technikon, overseas, fart about until I got a full time job at the age of 32. Hence the value of our estates..

 

But we now have closure and are waiting on a court date and will hopefully be done by the end of the month, then we can all get on with our lives and move on.

I need to be the father my children need and want and that relationship has taken a beating over the last 2 years, so there is work to be done on that front. I need to focus on getting my financial affairs in order as this has drained me (being retrenched and going freelance/contractor with no stable income is not for the faint at heart)

 

I had a quiet sob in the car after I left my lawyer this morning. It was very emotional day.

Strength to you mate. Know how you feeling right now.

Also broke down on the way back from the Sheriff after signing my part of the divorce

Edited April 5, 2018 by NoMore Landy

[dev null]

Strength to you mate. Know how you feeling right now.

Also broke down on the way back from the Sheriff after signing my part of the divorce

 

You have my support when you need it. Don't be shy.

[Escapee..]

Chin up guys

 

It will only get better

[Rocket-Boy]

Struggeling from day to day. Just waiting for court date now. Wife is asking more money for Son's extra mural trips to competitions that was not mentioned at mediation so now we are fighting again. Eish , Divorce is not for the faint at heart.

Im watching a divorce unfold with a couple that I know, youngsters that should never have been married in the first place. Fortunately no children involved but they cant agree on finances and assets. The amounts are so small that its not worth fighting about but they are about to be diluted further as they are going to have to get lawyers involved now.