I dont like cycle lab. They're elitist and they ruined CWC firesales. There, now that that is out of the way...
I used to be a club member, simply because they were the most accessible club to someone who didn't have mates who cycled.
Our rides were almost always near perfect. Two abreast on the wider roads, single file through cedar, follow vehicle always way behind helping randos with punctures or following super slow noobs. Pick any club, hell, even a brand that has a familiar and popular shirt, and you'll find complaints. People ride badly. Drivers drige badly. Neither thinks they're at fault at the time, or we would never have road accidents.
Now, we can argue all day. Fact is, it seemed your wife was impatient to overtake dangerously, and its been proven many times that a larger group should infact take up the lane to reduce the group length, so pasing cars have more opportunities to overtake without risk, in the usual manner of overtaking in the oncoming lane. Treat the bikes like a slow truck or tractor. You wait, and pass safely, and wave as you go.
For punctures, yes people can we unaware of self. Its oretty normal. I've been caught up, pissed that i heard the ol hiss of fate, and stopped asap and got off to start fixing, only to snap awake and realise, tyre loose and tubes in hand, that me and the bike are in the way... You could slow down, offer to assist, and point out their position in a manner that is less entitled, and you'll probably help both of you have a better day.
Lastly, riding your bike is supposed to relax you. Its supposed to bring a zen that puts life and people into perspective. I hope you find that with more riding and less aggression. Just try help instead of moaning.