Advice on Divorce

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

I am not sure of the legal terminology of my ANC, but all I know is that what we came into the marriage with and what we inherit remains our own, but anything we bought while married gets split. Marrying at 24 we did not have much except a small car each.

 

I don't plan on chasing the ladies no, not for now, but it has been lonely without and if something comes up, I may see what happens gently. I had the snip at 29 y.o when I was done with our two kid's so definitely no more offspring.

ANC with accrual then

[New Landy new life]

Just double check your dad's will and make 100% sure that clause is in it..

 

 

 

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Don't think his will has any relevance as any inheritance remains our own according to the marriage contract

 

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[Gen]

Don't think his will has any relevance as any inheritance remains our own according to the marriage contract

 

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I would just check it..just to be 100% sorted on it...and to make sure their aren't loopholes esp with ANC with accrual.

 

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[Gen]

Are you spending Xmas with family or friends...else..I'll make sure to be on the hub tomorrow...the way she just upped and left I really don't want you feeling alone tomorrow?

 

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[Gen]

Holy crap. Sorry, dude. That's not cool.

Yeah.. that doesn't sit well with me either.

 

How are you holding up BTW?

 

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Edited December 24, 2017 by Gen

[New Landy new life]

I have my folks here in town so going to them tomorrow with my boet but thanks for the concern.

 

After a couple beers life is ok now as well as smile 90.4 radio with tunes from the good old 80's

 

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Edited December 24, 2017 by NoMore Landy

[eddy]

 

 

 

Use a condom. If you are single and solvent you will have more sex than you have grown use to after 21 years of marriage. You do not  want to pick up a STI and definitely DO NOT want to become a father again at 47. I am not suggesting that someone will lie to you about being clean or on the Pill,  but best you look after yourself.

 

 

I LOLéd. Speaking from experience? 

 

Yes. I was 45, but it is not all LOL.

 

The bit about being careful was emphasised to me by my GP. She warned me that STIs and unplanned (by the man) pregnancy were a clear and  present danger and to trust no one.

 

On the other hand, the "single and solvent" comment is a direct quote from a young woman  in the hotel where I spent two nights a week living whilst  on business. 

 

She literally walked up to my table and said what is a single, solvent and straight man doing eating alone in Cape Town. She subsequently called me from her bath...

[IceCreamMan]

ANC with accrual is the regime you are married in. Thus, you will need to each work out the value of your current assets and liabilities. So assuming yr estate is worth 2 million and hers is worth 1 million and let’s assume further you both came to the marriage with a small car worth 50k each.

 

Thus yr estate has grown by 1.95 milliOn and hers by 0.95 million. Yours is the greater estate thus 1.95 - 0.95 = 1 000 000 divided by 2 so in this example you would be eligible to pay her R500 000. There are some exclusions to this calculation for instance if part of your ANC contract specified a gift to her or something like that. Your inheritance thing is a non issue.

 

The above excludes any obligation to your child. I assume you will share custody etc so expenses will be schooling, clothes etc. this you may be liable for in a greater proportion than she is as you earn more,

 

All the above legalese is simplistic and I don’t know the intricacies of yr marriage or situation but this is the legal position as the facts stand.

 

Look, I been around the block enoug times, I been divorced and it’s always better to be happy and friendly and amicable and peachy and all that, but that facade fades very quickly once you have a lady on yr arm and suddenly the whole game changes. If you do indulge keep it low profile til the divorce is finalized and sorted. Woman are a strange breed. Even if it’s her idea to get divorced and she wants nothing to do with you that’s all going to change when you suddenly have a young buxom blonde on yr arm, then it’s open season.

 

Good luck man

[Dicky DQ]

As far as I know the debt is excluded, or was, with Accrual so bear this in mind as well when looking at the assets.

[mecheng89]

Just some advice based on what went wrong with me, don't try be too demanding on how things should be or how the kid's get raised.  Go easy on wife and kids and join in with everything that they enjoy and don't try make them always follow the way you see the world and how things should be according to the way you may have been raised.  I have learnt the very hard way.

Never go to sleep angry either.

Thanks for the tips! 

[mecheng89]

I did too.. But a mates mate is also divorced and 45 and hes got people of the female persuasion literally lining up outside his door

Gender fluid? 

[mecheng89]

Does this work the same way for women...

 

Asking for a friend.[emoji6]

 

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Naughty!

[Stretch]

Happy Christmas nomore Landy. Thinking of you from all your friends on the hub

[New Landy new life]

Thanks boet - really hard morning so far - doing laundry and even went to Church to ask for some help from above

Edited December 25, 2017 by NoMore Landy

[Mojoman]

Thanks boet - really hard morning so far - doing laundry and even went to Church to ask for some help from above

Merry Christmas.....I also did laundry this morning! Got those whites Christmassy white....!

 

[GrumpyOldGuy]

Thanks boet - really hard morning so far - doing laundry and even went to Church to ask for some help from above

I can't offer any advice, but I can offer this inspirational prayer : 

 

May the Lord hold you and keep you,

may he be gracious to you,

may his face shine upon you and give you peace.

 

I will remember you in my prayers, GoD Bless.