Advice on Divorce

[SURFER]

Kids 23 and 26.  Out of house but visit a lot.

 

Maybe the water is to cold.  It shrinks important "tools"

[eddy]

 

 

Maybe the water is to cold.  It shrinks important "tools"

 

 

She can never take your sense of humour, or your ability to laugh at yourself. Believe me, they will be valuable assets to retain in the next few months.

 

Hang in there. It will get much worse before it gets any better. Good luck

[SURFER]

That sucks surfer. Sorry to hear.

 

Any reasons given as to the sudden desire to move on ?

 

 

We have been drifting apart for some time, although living in same house.  Me doing my own stuff like surf, climbing/hike and cycling.

We are both guilty of not paying enough attention to the relationship.  

There was also a 3rd party involved (her side) about 16 years ago.  Did not help the relationship

[Paddaman]

It is interesting, but when the divorce laws changed to allow (force) the pension contribution of the members, to be paid out immediately on the divorce settlement, and not on the date of retirement, a number of house wives smelt money and filed for divorce to get their hands on the money.  Often there was a boyfriend, or prophet egging them on to do it......

[SURFER]

It is interesting, but when the divorce laws changed to allow (force) the pension contribution of the members, to be paid out immediately on the divorce settlement, and not on the date of retirement, a number of house wives smelt money and filed for divorce to get their hands on the money.  Often there was a boyfriend, or prophet egging them on to do it......

 

Will need to give her half of my pension, which will  reduce my 30 years of service to 15 years.  Will have a huge impact when I retire.  Not possible to recover before retirement (in 8 years).  

[Letum911]

Sheeesh sorry to hear Surfer!!

 

I think the lack of washing down in Cpt is definitely taking it's toll!!

 

Keep your head up, your heart under control and your friends close. This is a rough road to go down alone!!

[Stretch]

We have been drifting apart for some time, although living in same house. Me doing my own stuff like surf, climbing/hike and cycling.

We are both guilty of not paying enough attention to the relationship.

There was also a 3rd party involved (her side) about 16 years ago. Did not help the relationship

One wonders if the level of trust ever gets back to the levels prior to that

[Patchelicious]

FFS sorry to hear dude.

[New Landy new life]

Also sorry to hear Surfer - seems we have the same storey as to what went wrong, almost carbon copy on my side aswell and also suspect a boyfriend on the wifes side somewhere along the road and now again.

 

Shout if you ever feel like going for a MTB some time if you want a chat or just ride ?

[Bateleur1]

A question to the legal eagles.  If a person wants out of a marriage, like in the case of NoMore Landy, but the other half actually does not want to split, then it actually changes the ball game.  Does the partner wanting out not just go out unless infidelity can be proven or abuse or such thing.

[Kranswurm]

One wonders if the level of trust ever gets back to the levels prior to that

Never

[Jaws677]

A question to the legal eagles. If a person wants out of a marriage, like in the case of NoMore Landy, but the other half actually does not want to split, then it actually changes the ball game. Does the partner wanting out not just go out unless infidelity can be proven or abuse or such thing.

Nope

[Jaws677]

Will need to give her half of my pension, which will reduce my 30 years of service to 15 years. Will have a huge impact when I retire. Not possible to recover before retirement (in 8 years).

Strongs man. That's a real *** one.

[IceCreamMan]

A question to the legal eagles.  If a person wants out of a marriage, like in the case of NoMore Landy, but the other half actually does not want to split, then it actually changes the ball game.  Does the partner wanting out not just go out unless infidelity can be proven or abuse or such thing.

Nope, no longer like that.

 

No fault divorces etc etc are the new world in the West. One wants to go, game over.

[Letum911]

A question to the legal eagles.  If a person wants out of a marriage, like in the case of NoMore Landy, but the other half actually does not want to split, then it actually changes the ball game.  Does the partner wanting out not just go out unless infidelity can be proven or abuse or such thing.

 

What the others said. If you want to go you go. Get's covered under "irreconcilable differences and breakdown of the marriage".

[Zatopek]

What the others said. If you want to go you go. Get's covered under "irreconcilable differences and breakdown of the marriage".

Just be prepared for an extremely aggressive terminology used in the letter delivered to you. - Its only legal speaking and most like not even close to your real word scenario. It would have nuked me if a lawyer friend did not warn me.

 

Landy, I recognize myself in your scenario/posts. My thoughts are with you. One thing is certain, things will get better, but might take some time. For me that happened only after I stop fighting it emotionally/internally.