Full mamillian pedantic curmudgeon mode

[Mamil]

The First ascent advert on the landing page tells me I'll only perform as good as I feel. So in the interests of keeping things honest and perhaps lively 'cos the hub is flat as a pancake without the controversies that animate heated internet trolling and argument, I'd like to point out that we don't perform "good". Good is the adjective - the adverb is "well" but then the advert doesn't work so.... We will just bend the language. 

"You'll only perform as well as you feel". Which is cr@p anyway 'cos when I'm gasping for air and my legs are burning I don't feel good or well.

Standards people.

It reminds me of the food lover's market in Claremont that used to feature TS Eliot's line "I have measured out my life in coffee spoons" in their windows to advertise cappuccino completely ignorant that the line actually refers to the stale ennui of a man at middle age.

Which might be what's motivating this post ... except I'm older than middle age.

I'll have another coffee.

All good and well

 

 

Edited October 21, 2025 by Mamil

[Zebra]

"...a colour palette, as bold as your ambitions..."

Jeez; give me a B-R-E-A-K...

I was/am a marketer, and that cr@p makes me run a mile...

Rant off.

 

 

[michaelbiker]

Yeah, would be refreshing to see a brand that has no nonsense branding and good quality at an affordable price.

Something like Decathlon I guess.

The PNS, Rapha crowd can shove it with their hyperbole.

[michaelbiker]

I do love the Chinese parts descriptions though

[Headshot]

Mamil, just go a ride bold man, it will be okay. (My newish Spesh helmet is the same yellow as that shirt so maybe I am the target market)

[droo]

1 hour ago, Mamil said:

It reminds me of the food lover's market in Claremont that used to feature TS Eliot's line "I have measured out my life in coffee spoons" in their windows to advertise cappuccino completely ignorant that the line actually refers to the stale ennui of a man at middle age.

 

Still better than the Fresh Stop sandwich board (of which I have a photo somewhere) that abbreviated one of their fruit offerings to "Ass Grapes".

And the less said about apostrophe abuse the better.

[Organic]

2 hours ago, Mamil said:

The First ascent advert on the landing page tells me I'll only perform as good as I feel. So in the interests of keeping things honest and perhaps lively 'cos the hub is flat as a pancake without the controversies that animate heated internet trolling and argument, I'd like to point out that we don't perform "good". Good is the adjective - the adverb is "well" but then the advert doesn't work so.... We will just bend the language. 

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/good

Quote

Adverbial good has been under attack from the schoolroom since the 19th century. Insistence on well rather than good has resulted in a split in connotation: well is standard, neutral, and colourless, while good is emotionally charged and emphatic. This makes good the adverb of choice in sports.

So, apparently it's good as an adverb for sport.  Problem solved.

 

 

[Mamil]

13 minutes ago, Organic said:

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/good

So, apparently it's good as an adverb for sport.  Problem solved.

 

 

I bat good?

I cycle good?

I swim good?

Actually I swim quite bad.

factually though it is all patently untrue as I'm distinctly ... well, average. 

1 hour ago, Headshot said:

Mamil, just go a ride bold man, it will be okay. (My newish Spesh helmet is the same yellow as that shirt so maybe I am the target market)

I don't cycle bold, I cycle bald ... 

[Guest Mike Dewing]

5 hours ago, Mamil said:

 

It reminds me of the food lover's market in Claremont that used to feature TS Eliot's line "I have measured out my life in coffee spoons" in their windows to advertise cappuccino completely ignorant that the line actually refers to the stale ennui of a man at middle age.

 

 

 

Banging half price sushi upstairs though.! 

[dave303e]

Its because the clothing is no longer primarily functional, but more about fashion than function. Marketing fashion is purely about pulling the wool over people eyes(sometimes literally not just figuratively). Proof of that is the hairy underwear released recently that sold out in a matter of days world wide

[NGM]

19 hours ago, Mamil said:

The First ascent advert on the landing page tells me I'll only perform as good as I feel. So in the interests of keeping things honest and perhaps lively 'cos the hub is flat as a pancake without the controversies that animate heated internet trolling and argument, I'd like to point out that we don't perform "good". Good is the adjective - the adverb is "well" but then the advert doesn't work so.... We will just bend the language. 

"You'll only perform as well as you feel". Which is cr@p anyway 'cos when I'm gasping for air and my legs are burning I don't feel good or well.

Standards people.

It reminds me of the food lover's market in Claremont that used to feature TS Eliot's line "I have measured out my life in coffee spoons" in their windows to advertise cappuccino completely ignorant that the line actually refers to the stale ennui of a man at middle age.

Which might be what's motivating this post ... except I'm older than middle age.

I'll have another coffee.

All good and well

 

 

I love a pedantic rant, genuinely. When they are well articulated and involve cycling it's even better. A related pet peeve is when people (quite often the POTUS) say "I feel badly for him". To "feel badly" means that the mechanism or skill you use for feeling is inadequate, or not working properly. It's like saying you ride badly, i.e: you are not good at riding. It certainly doesn't mean you feel sympathetic toward someone. 

Also, the chorus to this 90s classic now makes a little more sense. Thanks. 

 

[Shebeen]

18 hours ago, droo said:

Still better than the Fresh Stop sandwich board (of which I have a photo somewhere) that abbreviated one of their fruit offerings to "Ass Grapes".

And the less said about apostrophe abuse the better.

in the spirit of ultimate pedantry, Bartlett took this one to the top.

The Ass Foods saga continues. Late last June, 2oceansVibe was forwarded a little but of spice by prominent Cape Town personality, Bartlett. Bartlett told us that he intended to lay a complaint with the Advertising Standards Authority of South Africa regarding the offensive (and frankly, traumatising) Ass Wrap packaging at the Steenberg Pick n Pay.

The ASA has ruled in favour of Bartlett, and forced the hand of Steenberg Pick n Pay to wipe its store of all Ass related paraphenalia, amending the phrase to “Assorted”.

25 Aug 2011

Mr Bartlett lodged a consumer complaint against a Pick n Pay leaflet promoting its weekly specials for the Steenberg store.

The advertisement contains, inter alia, the wording “Ass Wraps 1499 Each”.

COMPLAINT
In essence, the complainant submitted that the advertisement is offensive as the abbreviation has a double, and offensive meaning.

RELEVANT CLAUSE OF THE CODE OF ADVERTISING PRACTICE
In light of the complaint Clause 1 of Section II (Offensive advertising) was taken into account.

RESPONSE
The respondent submitted that it has rectified the issue by ensuring that all advertising notices in the Steenberg store containing the word “Ass” have been changed to the word “Assorted”.

ASA DIRECTORATE RULING
The ASA has a long standing principle which holds that where an advertiser provides an unequivocal undertaking to withdraw or amend its advertising in a manner that addresses the concerns raised, that undertaking is accepted without considering the merits of the matter.

The respondent’s undertaking appears to address the complainants’ concerns and there is therefore no need for the Directorate to consider the merits of the matter at this time.

The undertaking is accepted on condition that the advertisement in question is not used again in future in its current format.

 

 

 

 

unfortunately 2OV uses an ass server and none of these seem to actually hold the images anymore.

https://www.2oceansvibe.com/tag/ass-foods/

 

 

edit: internet archive found me one

Edited October 22, 2025 by Shebeen

[droo]

1 hour ago, Shebeen said:

in the spirit of ultimate pedantry, Bartlett took this one to the top.

The Ass Foods saga continues. Late last June, 2oceansVibe was forwarded a little but of spice by prominent Cape Town personality, Bartlett. Bartlett told us that he intended to lay a complaint with the Advertising Standards Authority of South Africa regarding the offensive (and frankly, traumatising) Ass Wrap packaging at the Steenberg Pick n Pay.

The ASA has ruled in favour of Bartlett, and forced the hand of Steenberg Pick n Pay to wipe its store of all Ass related paraphenalia, amending the phrase to “Assorted”.

25 Aug 2011

Mr Bartlett lodged a consumer complaint against a Pick n Pay leaflet promoting its weekly specials for the Steenberg store.

The advertisement contains, inter alia, the wording “Ass Wraps 1499 Each”.

COMPLAINT
In essence, the complainant submitted that the advertisement is offensive as the abbreviation has a double, and offensive meaning.

RELEVANT CLAUSE OF THE CODE OF ADVERTISING PRACTICE
In light of the complaint Clause 1 of Section II (Offensive advertising) was taken into account.

RESPONSE
The respondent submitted that it has rectified the issue by ensuring that all advertising notices in the Steenberg store containing the word “Ass” have been changed to the word “Assorted”.

ASA DIRECTORATE RULING
The ASA has a long standing principle which holds that where an advertiser provides an unequivocal undertaking to withdraw or amend its advertising in a manner that addresses the concerns raised, that undertaking is accepted without considering the merits of the matter.

The respondent’s undertaking appears to address the complainants’ concerns and there is therefore no need for the Directorate to consider the merits of the matter at this time.

The undertaking is accepted on condition that the advertisement in question is not used again in future in its current format.

 

 

 

 

unfortunately 2OV uses an ass server and none of these seem to actually hold the images anymore.

https://www.2oceansvibe.com/tag/ass-foods/

 

 

edit: internet archive found me one

I mean, it could be for donkeys?

[Mamil]

I use assorted magic chamois cream