Advice on Divorce

[Kranswurm]

Another question I have regarding maintenance for one's child.

 

If circumstances have changed considerably in regard to one's spouses salary used in the calculation of the % of who pays for what as well as the child now being 18 and earning a salary.

 

How do you go about re-negotiating the payment terms that are in the court papers if it was done through a mediator. 

 

P.S:  The payment term was set up to expire when he reaches 21

I am sure the agreement makes provision to allow for escalation to take care of increases in cost as well as your financial situation improving

[New Landy new life]

It only specifies an annual increase but no mention about financial position change affecting the agreed amount

[Kranswurm]

It only specifies an annual increase but no mention about financial position change affecting the agreed amount

That annual increase includes change in financial position.

Speak to your lawyer

It does sound like you are trying to lessen your contribution at every opportunity.The inks barely dry.

[Skubarra]

It only specifies an annual increase but no mention about financial position change affecting the agreed amount

 

You really need an actual lawyer to answer this but what I recall from friends of mine that divorced is that you can approach one of the lower courts to review the maintenance agreement if your financial position change. Think family court? Also recall that a certain time period needs to pass before you can review the maintenance amount.

 

As an aside, my ex-buddy quite cynically was able to reduce his maintenance (determined by the high court) by sweet talking the lower court judge despite his financial position not materially changing. I think the system can very much be played if you want to.

[Steven Knoetze (sk27)]

Another question I have regarding maintenance for one's child.

 

If circumstances have changed considerably in regard to one's spouses salary used in the calculation of the % of who pays for what as well as the child now being 18 and earning a salary.

 

How do you go about re-negotiating the payment terms that are in the court papers if it was done through a mediator. 

 

P.S:  The payment term was set up to expire when he reaches 21

 

Without the specifics, it is hard to answer, but here is my 2cents:

 

If your financial position has changed, i.e. your earnings have dropped, you can approach a court to pay less. Take note that your ex can now claim money's from your immediate family if she so chooses. If you can't pay that is.

 

If her circumstances have changed then i am not sure. Ultimately you are paying for the childs living expenses so even if her salary doubles you still need to pay your fair share so I can't see any court saying you could pay less because she has suddenly started earning more money

Edited January 29, 2019 by Steven Knoetze (sk27)

[New Landy new life]

I just felt that I had been given a much higher burden to bear than my ex due to her much lower earnings at the time we were divorced.

 

She is now working more (i.e. normal) hours as a permanent employee and I thought it fair that she carries the load accordingly instead of me bearing the 75% of his expenses.

 

I also hear rumor that she is giving up her flat that I pay toward rent to move in with her boyfriend together with my son. 

[Steven Knoetze (sk27)]

I just felt that I had been given a much higher burden to bear than my ex due to her much lower earnings at the time we were divorced.

 

She is now working more (i.e. normal) hours as a permanent employee and I thought it fair that she carries the load accordingly instead of me bearing the 75% of his expenses.

 

I also hear rumor that she is giving up her flat that I pay toward rent to move in with her boyfriend together with my son. 

 

Then I would say you have a case for trying to get it more proportional.

Just remember, wrt her flat, she is the primary caregiver and so needs to provide housing for your son. So where she stays or who with is unfortunately not taken into the equation. She can simply get statements of the expenses in the house she is moving to, say she is also contributing to these. i.e. he pays the bond and she pays the utilities, etc. 

[SURFER]

I just felt that I had been given a much higher burden to bear than my ex due to her much lower earnings at the time we were divorced.

 

She is now working more (i.e. normal) hours as a permanent employee and I thought it fair that she carries the load accordingly instead of me bearing the 75% of his expenses.

 

I also hear rumor that she is giving up her flat that I pay toward rent to move in with her boyfriend together with my son. 

 

Was the % you both are contributing based on what you were earning at the time?

 

If yes, maybe you got a case

 

I am not an expert

[sawystertrance]

"Take note that your ex can now claim money's from your immediate family if she so chooses. If you can't pay that is."

 

Whaaaat! My brother is busy getting divorced. and is broke. 

Are you sure about this? Time to plan.    

[New Landy new life]

Was the % you both are contributing based on what you were earning at the time?

 

If yes, maybe you got a case

 

I am not an expert

 

Yes, it was at the time so she worked far less hours in a week.

 

 

"Take note that your ex can now claim money's from your immediate family if she so chooses. If you can't pay that is."

 

Whaaaat! My brother is busy getting divorced. and is broke. 

Are you sure about this? Time to plan.    

 

 

I have heard this is correct yes.

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

"Take note that your ex can now claim money's from your immediate family if she so chooses. If you can't pay that is."

 

Whaaaat! My brother is busy getting divorced. and is broke.

Are you sure about this? Time to plan.

Only in cases of the maintenance not being paid by the parent, and with a court order, as I understand it.

 

If he's broke now and can't afford any maintenance, Ang the agreement is yet to be finalized, diff story

[Steven Knoetze (sk27)]

"Take note that your ex can now claim money's from your immediate family if she so chooses. If you can't pay that is."

 

Whaaaat! My brother is busy getting divorced. and is broke. 

Are you sure about this? Time to plan.    

 

That is correct, I know because my fiancee's ex is also currently unemployed and she has been advised by her lawyer that she can claim the maintenance from his mom and/or sister if she so chooses.

 

It is better to try and find an amicable solution without court orders but then there is nothing binding either party really.

Also remember that the first family plan and maintenance decree must be well thought through as it is tough to change later on once it is all signed and sealed. My fiancee was very lenient to try and settle things quickly and amicably and now it is becoming a nightmare as many things were overlooked.

 

 

[sawystertrance]

What do you mean ? You mean if it's still to be finalised, siblings can be made responsible? 

[Steven Knoetze (sk27)]

What do you mean ? You mean if it's still to be finalised, siblings can be made responsible? 

 

To my knowledge, at any point. 

So in an agreement where he should pay and doesn't, then a court can be approached to get money from family.

Going into it knowing he can't pay they can then get it from family.

The best would be to go and see a lawyer. This is all 2nd hand information.

Edited January 29, 2019 by Steven Knoetze (sk27)

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

What do you mean ? You mean if it's still to be finalised, siblings can be made responsible?

No. If it's finalised and recorded as I need to pay x per month and I don't, my direct fam can be made responsible by way of court order.

 

But I may be wrong. Consult lawyer ALWAYS in cases like this

Edited January 29, 2019 by Captain Fatbastard Mayhem

[Mousea]

No. If it's finalised and recorded as I need to pay x per month and I don't, my direct fam can be made responsible by way of court order.

 

But I may be wrong. Consult lawyer ALWAYS in cases like this

This is a BS situation.

So if my Moron BIL doesn't pay they can come after us.

 

Not a chance in hell, I will fight this in court tooth and nail