Advice on Divorce

[Mousea]

Friend of mine was looking at relocating. The cost of living in NZL is 52% higher than here. Thats insane, plus you are obliged to marry a sheep apparently............

 BWHAAAA

[Andymann]

 BWHAAAA

Shouldn't that be BAAAAAAA?

[Slowbee]

Guys some advice pls.

 

We know someone going through a divorce, all rather messy. But the "guilty" party (he) is refusing to move out. Now they are renting - but the rental agreement is in "her" name, as this she was living there before they got married.

 

What are the options on getting the guilty party out ? She does not want to give up the lease and he is saying he will only move out after the divorce.

 

So ja what are the options ?

[Plentipotential]

She should consult with a lawyer, you, should stay out of it. That's my advice.

[Harryn]

Guys some advice pls.

 

We know someone going through a divorce, all rather messy. But the "guilty" party (he) is refusing to move out. Now they are renting - but the rental agreement is in "her" name, as this she was living there before they got married.

 

What are the options on getting the guilty party out ? She does not want to give up the lease and he is saying he will only move out after the divorce.

 

So ja what are the options ?

Interesting conundrum:

 

Option 1. Get to a good mediator super fast, and put this as number 1 on the agenda. If that does not work go to 2

 

Option 2. Her lawyer writes him a nasty letter recording that he has brought the relationship to crisis to the extent that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. She cannot live under the same roof, and despite request he has refused to move out pending the formalization and finalisation of divorce proceedings. The acrimony does is not in kids interests, blah blah blah. The lawyer will record that the lease is in her name, and if he refuses to co-operate, she will formally revoke his rights of occupancy. If that does not work, go to 3.

 

Option 3. Approach the landlord, explain the situation, and ask the landlord to address a letter asking him to get out pronto as the lessee no longer wishes him to hold occupation by virtue of her rights of occupancy under the lease. This letter must be formal but bitchy as hell. If that does not fly, go to 4

 

Option 4. Apply to court to get him out, pending the grant of the divorce, get fam adv support, and maybe this is do-able as part of a rule 43. But, kaching kaching.

 

Option 5. Pool acid

 

Edit_ : if there has been / is abuse, consider a protection order.

Edited November 15, 2018 by Harryn

[Slowbee]

Eish !

 

Thanks guys.

[eddy]

Ignore everything I have ever said on this thread. Whilst the theory is sound, in practice I am finding it very, very different.

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

Ignore everything I have ever said on this thread. Whilst the theory is sound, in practice I am finding it very, very different.

Serious? Sterkte, boet

[Paddaman]

Interesting conundrum:

 

Option 1. Get to a good mediator super fast, and put this as number 1 on the agenda. If that does not work go to 2

 

Option 2. Her lawyer writes him a nasty letter recording that he has brought the relationship to crisis to the extent that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. She cannot live under the same roof, and despite request he has refused to move out pending the formalization and finalisation of divorce proceedings. The acrimony does is not in kids interests, blah blah blah. The lawyer will record that the lease is in her name, and if he refuses to co-operate, she will formally revoke his rights of occupancy. If that does not work, go to 3.

 

Option 3. Approach the landlord, explain the situation, and ask the landlord to address a letter asking him to get out pronto as the lessee no longer wishes him to hold occupation by virtue of her rights of occupancy under the lease. This letter must be formal but bitchy as hell. If that does not fly, go to 4

 

Option 4. Apply to court to get him out, pending the grant of the divorce, get fam adv support, and maybe this is do-able as part of a rule 43. But, kaching kaching.

 

Option 5. Pool acid

 

Edit_ : if there has been / is abuse, consider a protection order.

option six, cancel the lease, move out without letting him know (over a weekend), leave him as an unwanted tenant for the landlord to sort out.

[Harryn]

Now, *you* are one wicked bastard! [emoji736]

[Honkdonk]

Ignore everything I have ever said on this thread. Whilst the theory is sound, in practice I am finding it very, very different.

Its different for everyone. Like for bringing up kids, there is no manual. Same goes for divorce. Whilst the legal process is fairly straightforward, its the behind the scenes crap which is where we get lost. Divorce brings out sides in people you never knew existed. Brace yourself

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

Its different for everyone. Like for bringing up kids, there is no manual. Same goes for divorce. Whilst the legal process is fairly straightforward, its the behind the scenes crap which is where we get lost. Divorce brings out sides in people you never knew existed. Brace yourself

This. So much this. 

[Honkdonk]

Ah feck! I got involved with a woman who was going through her own divorce, but it hadn't gone all the way. She had been split from her husband for 2 years. She had moved on. Bought her own place, moved in and we were good, saw each other for thee last 5 months and it was amazing. Like nothing I had never experienced before in all aspects. BUT, they were not divorced. I respected her position with him.

He then took her out for dinner last week and dropped a bomb. He wanted to have another go at things. Took her from the blindside.  She has decided to give it a go. 12 years is worth saving over 5 months. I get it. Divorce is not easy. If you can save it, save it.

Even if she knows what she 'could' be going back to. It could be better. Or not.

 

Guess I was that guy..

Just as I thought things were getting easier

Edited December 18, 2018 by Honkdonk

[GrahamS2]

Ah feck! I got involved with a woman who was going through her own divorce, but it hadn't gone all the way. She had been split from her husband for 2 years. She had moved on. Bought her own place, moved in and we were good, saw each other for thee last 5 months and it was amazing. Like nothing I had never experienced before in all aspects. BUT, they were not divorced. I respected her position with him.

He then took her out for dinner last week and dropped a bomb. He wanted to have another go at things. Took her from the blindside.  She has decided to give it a go. 12 years is worth saving over 5 months. I get it. Divorce is not easy. If you can save it, save it.

Even if she knows what she 'could' be going back to. It could be better. Or not.

 

Guess I was that guy..

Just as I thought things were getting easier

Sounds to me like you've just been saved from years of issues and tissues.

[Duane_Bosch]

 He wanted to have another go at things. Took her from the blindside.  She has decided to give it a go. 12 years is worth saving over 5 months. I get it. Divorce is not easy. If you can save it, save it.

Even if she knows what she 'could' be going back to. It could be better. Or not.

 

Guess I was that guy..

Just as I thought things were getting easier

Take it from someone who's tried that. It doesn't work. The only thing they have is familiarity. The trust is still broken and the issues remain. It's a cowards approach. Yes I was that guy.

 

It's like putting sour milk back in the fridge and hoping that it's going to be fresh the next day. I agree 100% with Graham

Edited December 19, 2018 by Duane_Bosch

[Honkdonk]

The more I think about the more it makes sense. I told her a clean break. No more communication. She left that up to me.

While I enjoyed the time spent and we both got attached, its a better move. She needs to figure things out for herself.

And, yes, while it may be festive holiday season and its nice and familiar and romantic like, it may not work out at all. But I cant dwell on that.

Going back into any relationship is hard work and takes extra dedication to make it. I know as my ex and I tried and it just wasn't going to be.

 

On another note. This will be a tough Christmas without the kids. Its just not the same. At least I am working through and only get 24/25th off so at least I can get my head away from all matters of the heart.