Advice on Divorce

[Gen]

Aggressiveness / antagonism (less empathy / less kindness / lower co-operability) / Risk-seeking / physical to name a few.

 

 

Seems I was born with male traits then.[emoji6]. I actually think he is confusing traits and skills (not male skills, just skills) .. it is why I asked for clarity...

 

I have absolutely zero uderstanding how being capable and sucsessful in a career can be negative on a relationship..

 

 

Unless you are someone that's stuck in 1950 or part of some weird cult.

Edited January 31, 2019 by Gen

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

Seems I was born with male traits then.[emoji6]. I actually think he is confusing traits and skills (not male skills, just skills) .. it is why I asked for clarity...

 

I have absolutely zero uderstanding how being capable and sucsessful in a career can be negative on a relationship..

 

 

Unless you are someone that's stuck in 1950 or part of some weird cult.

It shouldn't be, but then I don't care if my other half* makes more than me. But, I think it must be said that if it DOES have a negative impact on a relationship, that the 2 people were not compatible to begin with.

 

*hypothetical and / or previous

[Gen]

It shouldn't be, but then I don't care if my other half* makes more than me. But, I think it must be said that if it DOES have a negative impact on a relationship, that the 2 people were not compatible to begin with.

 

*hypothetical and / or previous

For sure.

[Hairy]

my situation as per below in the adjusted font (Recon I need to hold onto wife #1) 

I trust you find this amusing given my history of dark humour.

 

1. I She feeds , dresses our kids and takes them to school everyday

2.  I She works with their homework and projects

3. I did We do all the weekend activities with our kids

4. I was the primary (only breadwinner)

5.  I She does most of the food shopping

 

For her part

1. Fetched kids from school (5kms round trip)

2. Maid She does did all cooking and cleaning

3. She does Gardener did the garden

4. Watched soapies most of the day

5. Would be nice is she drank a little more at night, "if you know what I mean" Drank too much at night

6 Wasted Won't let me waste money on stupid stuff 

 

 

My ex did not have a formal job as she was raising our kids and looking after the house.

 

For her this meant

 

1. I feed , dressed our kids and took them to school everyday

2. I did their homework and projects

3. I did all the weekend activities with our kids

4. I was the primary (only breadwinner)

5. I did most of the food shopping

 

For her part

1. Fetched kids from school (5kms round trip)

2. Maid did all cooking and cleaning

3. Gardener did the garden

4. Watched soapies most of the day

5. Drank too much at night

6 Wasted money on stupid stuff 

[Skubarra]

It shouldn't be, but then I don't care if my other half* makes more than me. But, I think it must be said that if it DOES have a negative impact on a relationship, that the 2 people were not compatible to begin with.

 

*hypothetical and / or previous

 

Agree - I think often "2 people were not compatible to begin with" gets conveniently blamed on "woman's role in society is changing"

[Stretch]

Staying clear of this discussion.....

[Cheese]

my situation as per below in the adjusted font (Recon I need to hold onto wife #1) 

 

I trust you find this amusing given my history of dark humour.

 

1. I She feeds , dresses our kids and takes them to school everyday

2.  I She works with their homework and projects

3. I did We do all the weekend activities with our kids

4. I was the primary (only breadwinner)

5.  I She does most of the food shopping

 

For her part

1. Fetched kids from school (5kms round trip)

2. Maid She does did all cooking and cleaning

3. She does Gardener did the garden

4. Watched soapies most of the day

5. Would be nice is she drank a little more at night, "if you know what I mean" Drank too much at night

6 Wasted Won't let me waste money on stupid stuff 

I must admit at the first time I saw the thread I could not understand why someone would ask such advice on the Hub.

I have not followed it but today I saw the post count and came to check it out.

 

I then saw I might be married to the same woman as Hairy, but then I saw point nr 5 under her part.

 

My wife enjoy her wine in the evening , no wonder I could not understand the thread. 

[Hairy]

personally I appreciate what I read here by those who are and have gone through the process and it helps me understand in a small way what they are going through

 

so a learning experience.

 

 

I must admit at the first time I saw the thread I could not understand why someone would ask such advice on the Hub.

I have not followed it but today I saw the post count and came to check it out.

 

I then saw I might be married to the same woman as Hairy, but then I saw point nr 5 under her part.

 

My wife enjoy her wine in the evening , no wonder I could not understand the thread. 

[Stretch]

I must admit at the first time I saw the thread I could not understand why someone would ask such advice on the Hub.

I have not followed it but today I saw the post count and came to check it out.

 

I then saw I might be married to the same woman as Hairy, but then I saw point nr 5 under her part.

 

My wife enjoy her wine in the evening , no wonder I could not understand the thread.

It's good to keep yourself and your relationship in check hearing stories from total strangers.

[CogitoErgoSum]

.

Edited January 31, 2019 by CogitoErgoSum

[I FLY]

On the below chart, where does she fit?

 

 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

[Captain Fastbastard Mayhem]

It's good to keep yourself and your relationship in check hearing stories from total strangers.

It's like group therapy, but in a less formal environment

[The Bull Shark]

Yeah, same can be said for men. There are certain jobs / posts / tasks for which the vast majority of men are less likely to fill, due to the general traits that men posess. 

 

I'm not saying that they'll struggle to adapt, nor do I think "struggle" is the right term; just that it's not as simple as saying there's no such thing as male / female roles, nor is the term "male role" or "female role" entirely accurate. I'd prefer to say "roles for which females are generally more pre-disposed towards than males" and vice versa, and even then it only caters towards the general population, not the outliers, and doesn't allow for personal responsibility in a relationship, where tasks / chores etc should be equally split. 

 

I personally think that the current thinking of "there are no differences between men and women" is a dangerous slope, and does injustice to both men and women alike. 

 

Because in general boys like stuff and girls like people. In general, that is.

[Amberdrake]

To me the hub is partly home, Its a place I go to keep up to date on news and I Lurk reading posts. Cycling hasn't really been something I have been able to get time lately but I treasured my last trip to Jonkershoek month and half ago.

 

This thread specifically encouraged me to work on marriage rather than end it. With no changes happening from the other side of relationship, and some hurtful words once I brought up how I felt we needed to work on things. I went back and sat down long and hard before making my choice.

 

Today I smile, yesterday I smiled. I have not just smiled because i'm happy about life in years.

I would however advice anyone considering things to speak more to your friends and family.

I have shocked a large amount of my friends and family because I kept it to myself and hid my pain.

[CogitoErgoSum]

To me the hub is partly home, Its a place I go to keep up to date on news and I Lurk reading posts. Cycling hasn't really been something I have been able to get time lately but I treasured my last trip to Jonkershoek month and half ago.

 

This thread specifically encouraged me to work on marriage rather than end it. With no changes happening from the other side of relationship, and some hurtful words once I brought up how I felt we needed to work on things. I went back and sat down long and hard before making my choice.

 

Today I smile, yesterday I smiled. I have not just smiled because i'm happy about life in years.

I would however advice anyone considering things to speak more to your friends and family.

I have shocked a large amount of my friends and family because I kept it to myself and hid my pain.

I do apologize sincerely to you and Landy if I was insensitive at any time.

 

I merely gave my view of only one possible contributing factor to a romantic relationship/marriage breaking down.

 

Strongs to everyone going through a divorse or seperation.

[Gen]

Nothing was meant to be sexist.

 

Males and females are different. We were created differently. Different emotions, different needs, different way of relating to the world, different hormones, different traits/characteristics, different purposes in life.

 

Man does not equal woman, woman does not equal man.

 

Man has a certain role and purpose on earth, women has a given role and purpose.

 

What is sexist about that?

 

It is when the sexes negate their roles to adopt the other when crap starts in a romantic relationship.

You are going from bad to worse.

 

My purpose in life will not be determined by my sex... but by my choice.

Edited January 31, 2019 by Gen