Kalahari Vegmot Posted September 6, 2018 Share Letting them go to a better future is just about the most selfless thing you can do. They will realise that at some stage.Uhm.....no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrahamS2 Posted September 6, 2018 Share Uhm.....no.Uhm, care to elaborate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalahari Vegmot Posted September 6, 2018 Share Uhm, care to elaborate?I don't think such a thing as a "better future" exists if the idea of "better" means living in a first-world country, but living without a dad. Pusher, Tabula Rasa, New Landy new life and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrahamS2 Posted September 6, 2018 Share I don't think such a thing as a "better future" exists if the idea of "better" means living in a first-world country, but living without a dad. Fair comment. But his kids will have far great opportunities in NZ, that much is certain. I guess a lot depends on how well his relationship as a father works at a distance. New Landy new life and FrankG 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 9, 2018 Share . New Landy new life, Letum911, DJR and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honkdonk Posted September 10, 2018 Share Fair comment. But his kids will have far great opportunities in NZ, that much is certain. I guess a lot depends on how well his relationship as a father works at a distance.Its a fair comment this. It will be put to the test for sure. But its up to me to make the best of a bad situation. The kids had their last visit with my folks yesterday. It was a hard goodbye for the grandparents. They go overseas this week and get back after the kids leave. Emotionally it is very hard. My appetite has vanished along with any desire to get on my bike and ride. I have good folk around who support me and listen. I find the best way to deal with things is to talk about it and not keep things bottled up. Its a new normal BigDL, cat-i, Bateleur1 and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bateleur1 Posted September 10, 2018 Share Its a fair comment this. It will be put to the test for sure. But its up to me to make the best of a bad situation. The kids had their last visit with my folks yesterday. It was a hard goodbye for the grandparents. They go overseas this week and get back after the kids leave. Emotionally it is very hard. My appetite has vanished along with any desire to get on my bike and ride. I have good folk around who support me and listen. I find the best way to deal with things is to talk about it and not keep things bottled up. Its a new normal Strongs man. This is a tough ride to say the least. Can only imagine what you are going through. New Landy new life 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stretch Posted September 10, 2018 Share I don't think such a thing as a "better future" exists if the idea of "better" means living in a first-world country, but living without a dad.I agree with this. And I don't mean to undermine honks decision because honk had thought long and hard about this. His kids have every opportunity in the world to provide themselves a "better future". They have access to a UK ancestral visa (honk has bp) and they have youth to get points for NZ/Aus. People who say "I'm moving for my kids" are talking out of their assholes. We move for us... And opportunities for the kids are a by product. Anyone who says otherwise is just using the kids as an excuse to wanting to change their situation. There's nothing wrong with it.. Just don't lie. I moved for numero Uno... No one else... Sure the kids have access to more affordable university.. But like I said that's a by product As I said before.. My belief is that regular access to a parent is way more beneficial than any first world opportunities. I've seen a former friend remove himself from his kids lives and the impact it had. My only advice to honk is that he doesn't get complacent and makes sure he constantly keeps in contact with his kids. And don't feel stupid phoning your kid/s every night on WhatsApp to say goodnight.. It just takes 30sec Mousea, Bateleur1, Tabula Rasa and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squier Posted September 11, 2018 Share Its a fair comment this. It will be put to the test for sure. But its up to me to make the best of a bad situation. The kids had their last visit with my folks yesterday. It was a hard goodbye for the grandparents. They go overseas this week and get back after the kids leave. Emotionally it is very hard. My appetite has vanished along with any desire to get on my bike and ride. I have good folk around who support me and listen. I find the best way to deal with things is to talk about it and not keep things bottled up. Its a new normalGood luck man. I would not have been able to do what you're doing. May this play out in your favor in the long run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mousea Posted September 11, 2018 Share I agree with this. And I don't mean to undermine honks decision because honk had thought long and hard about this. His kids have every opportunity in the world to provide themselves a "better future". They have access to a UK ancestral visa (honk has bp) and they have youth to get points for NZ/Aus. People who say "I'm moving for my kids" are talking out of their assholes. We move for us... And opportunities for the kids are a by product. Anyone who says otherwise is just using the kids as an excuse to wanting to change their situation. There's nothing wrong with it.. Just don't lie. I moved for numero Uno... No one else... Sure the kids have access to more affordable university.. But like I said that's a by product As I said before.. My belief is that regular access to a parent is way more beneficial than any first world opportunities. I've seen a former friend remove himself from his kids lives and the impact it had. My only advice to honk is that he doesn't get complacent and makes sure he constantly keeps in contact with his kids. And don't feel stupid phoning your kid/s every night on WhatsApp to say goodnight.. It just takes 30secWell said Stretch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honkdonk Posted October 2, 2018 Share T minus 16 days for when my kids leave for NZ..I have had good days and boy, have I had bad ones...She wants me to take them all to the airport on the 18th which I will do, and it will be very difficult, but I have to do it. Once they are gone, then I will relook things - Do I need a 4 door car? No. Do I need a 2 bed apartment? No. Do I need to stay in Jhb or even SA? No.But no rational or irrational decisions will be made until I am ready. Tabula Rasa, BigDL, Captain Fastbastard Mayhem and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BaGearA Posted October 2, 2018 Share T minus 16 days for when my kids leave for NZ..I have had good days and boy, have I had bad ones...She wants me to take them all to the airport on the 18th which I will do, and it will be very difficult, but I have to do it. Once they are gone, then I will relook things - Do I need a 4 door car? No. Do I need a 2 bed apartment? No. Do I need to stay in Jhb or even SA? No.But no rational or irrational decisions will be made until I am ready.Stongs dude , I can't imagjne what you're going through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uni Posted October 2, 2018 Share T minus 16 days for when my kids leave for NZ..I have had good days and boy, have I had bad ones...She wants me to take them all to the airport on the 18th which I will do, and it will be very difficult, but I have to do it. Once they are gone, then I will relook things - Do I need a 4 door car? No. Do I need a 2 bed apartment? No. Do I need to stay in Jhb or even SA? No.But no rational or irrational decisions will be made until I am ready.Hey.. get a friend to go with you to the airport.... someone to rant or just drive... while you worry about you BigDL and DJR 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted October 2, 2018 Share T minus 16 days for when my kids leave for NZ..I have had good days and boy, have I had bad ones...She wants me to take them all to the airport on the 18th which I will do, and it will be very difficult, but I have to do it. Once they are gone, then I will relook things - Do I need a 4 door car? No. Do I need a 2 bed apartment? No. Do I need to stay in Jhb or even SA? No.But no rational or irrational decisions will be made until I am ready.Sterkte, Honk. That last line, there. Stick to it!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted October 2, 2018 Share Hey.. get a friend to go with you to the airport.... someone to rant or just drive... while you worry about youHe's taking all of them, so I'd rather suggest meeting a friend straight after. This should, IMO, be just for them. Honk, kids and the ex. Just them. Don't need an outsider (as good a friend as they may be) along for the trip that he says farewell and gives all the hugs and kisses. After, definitely. But for the trip? Nah. Edited October 2, 2018 by Cptmayhem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uni Posted October 2, 2018 Share He's taking all of them, so I'd rather suggest meeting a friend straight after. This should, IMO, be just for them. Honk, kids and the ex. Just them. Don't need an outsider (as good a friend as they may be) along for the trip that he says farewell and gives all the hugs and kisses. After, definitely. But for the trip? Nah. I thought that would have been obvious..apparently not Captain Fastbastard Mayhem 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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