Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 What happens if you buy a whole bunch of untraceable bitcoin? don't be a dick. If it comes out later that you didn't disclose it, she'll be able to say that she's entitled to half.
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 Can I ask why? Is it emotional/sentimental or a financial thing? Reason why I ask is that if I was in your shoes, I would want to start fresh with as little around me to remind me of the past.^^THIS. I'm in my own place now, and it's bloody fantastic. Still not 100% sorted, but the clean slate thing is awesome. Steven Knoetze (sk27), Patchelicious, DJR and 1 other 4
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 Oh - Patch & Savage - NICE one. I like hearing things like that. Patchelicious, Steven Knoetze (sk27), Pure Savage and 1 other 4
Patchelicious Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 ^^THIS. I'm in my own place now, and it's bloody fantastic. Still not 100% sorted, but the clean slate thing is awesome. PS: The massive burgers in the new B-pad looked awesome! Steven Knoetze (sk27), Lurch the stalker, Captain Fastbastard Mayhem and 1 other 4
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 PS: The massive burgers in the new B-pad looked awesome!LOL. They were!!! Venison mince, dutch gouda, bacon, rocket. No mayo or t-sauce or mustard cos I don't have a working fridge yet. LOL. Long Wheel Base 1
SURFER Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 And half the value of the house... But also... He came into the marriage with the house too... So if it's accrual... Then that also gets complicated. Definitely lawyers required there It is accrual. Probably end up with lawyers
SURFER Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 Can I ask why? Is it emotional/sentimental or a financial thing? Reason why I ask is that if I was in your shoes, I would want to start fresh with as little around me to remind me of the past. I enjoy my house. Close to beach (surf). I will rather pay the half and take a bond on my own place than to try and buy another place. Not likely to get a similar place at beach. Memories of the past not an issue Patchelicious and Steven Knoetze (sk27) 2
ChUkKy Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 (edited) So after 21 years my wife has had enough and asked to leave me and will not give an option of counselling at all. We both work but she earns not too much as a nurse working 7 to 13h00 every day at the moment which I assume she will have to work more hours in future. Been looking on YouTube for advice on how to go about it and the divorce rules but not enough info there. Just a few questions maybe some of you can answer. If we agree on who get's what inside the house as well as a car I bought her, can you go via one of these online type lawyers and if so which one for Cape Town would you recommend. We only have 1 kid left in the house at 17 y.o so I assume I carry on paying his schooling fully myself. I wouldn't try shirk that in any-case. At present I rent one of my old-man's houses with the agreed aim to inherit the house when he passes so, because we are married with an ANC contract which specified inheritances remained our own if we should split that my wife should move out as it would be too difficult for her to maintain the property and pool etc. in any-case. I assume both our pension funds will be split down the middle with the bulk being mine will go to her ? Do I need to maintain her lifestyle the same as before as well or only the Kid ? Do I need to find and pay full rental on a small pad for her and my son, or does she have to contribute ? Is it best to speak to a divorce lawyer just for a consultation or can I just use the online type. Really was a hard pill to swallow today as I still love this lady I married but it has been a bumpy ride the last 7 years or so, lot of both our faults going to bed angry instead of resolving and both of us are very stubborn. Anyway - would appreciate some constructive practical advice. P.S - Do I need to now start a new circle of friends from scratch due to one's common married friends - what did you guys do ? (46 years old) Sorry to hear...Satan and I got divorced back in 2010, fortunately no kids in the mix. You need to have sex to have kids.For me it was the best R500k odd down the drain to find happiness again, luckily there wasnt too much else to split, it was easier to just let go of stuff instead of bitching about it and dragging things on.We were married COP, you got 6 months to change it after you get married and we just never did. I didnt plan on getting divorced, ever. So I didnt really care but then things changed.Basically the mouth opened more regularly than anything else causing more issues so the end came quickly. One door closes and another door opens, it was actually one of the best things that could have happened to me as Ive found happiness again. Good luck! Edited January 5, 2018 by ChUkKy Steven Knoetze (sk27), Zatopek, karma and 6 others 9
Patchelicious Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 Sorry to hear...Satan and I got divorced back in 2010, fortunately no kids in the mix. You need to have sex to have kids.For me it was the best R500k odd down the drain to find happiness again, luckily there wasnt too much else to split, it was easier to just let go of stuff instead of bitching about it and dragging things on.We were married COP, you got 6 months to change it after you get married and we just never did. I didnt plan on getting divorced, ever. So I didnt really care but then things changed.Basically the mouth opened more regularly than anything else causing more issues so the end came quickly. One door closes and another door opens, it was actually one of the best things that could have happened to me as Ive found happiness again. Good luck! Help.Me. and ChUkKy 2
IceCreamMan Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 Can it get to a point that the court needs to decide who stays in house and who gets the money? My 1st choice is to stayYes it can get to that point, don’t let it get to that point cos then u deep in hock to the legal fraternity if you still fighting this in court. Court should be there to make the divorce final, nothing more imho unless you Paul McCartney or Rockefeller or some other wealthy fellow. It’s simple really....COP the joint estate is split 50 50 with certain exclusions that may exist. ANC without accrual - what’s yours is yours and hers is hers ANC with accrual - the increase in value in each estate since the ANC was drawn up is considered and the estate that GREW the most is liable to the Estate that grew the lesser to the amount of 50%. Get some values of the house and start calculating yr accrual. Courts will prefer a once off settlement now and this is the way you should do it. Remember yr pension might be worth 10 million now but that could conceivably double in the next 8 years so pay the 5 bar now....purely as an example ....in my example you would still have 75 percent of yr pension Inc 8 years. Good luck Pure Savage, dirtypot and Captain Fastbastard Mayhem 3
SURFER Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 Yes it can get to that point, don’t let it get to that point cos then u deep in hock to the legal fraternity if you still fighting this in court. Court should be there to make the divorce final, nothing more imho unless you Paul McCartney or Rockefeller or some other wealthy fellow. It’s simple really....COP the joint estate is split 50 50 with certain exclusions that may exist. ANC without accrual - what’s yours is yours and hers is hers ANC with accrual - the increase in value in each estate since the ANC was drawn up is considered and the estate that GREW the most is liable to the Estate that grew the lesser to the amount of 50%. Get some values of the house and start calculating yr accrual. Courts will prefer a once off settlement now and this is the way you should do it. Remember yr pension might be worth 10 million now but that could conceivably double in the next 8 years so pay the 5 bar now....purely as an example ....in my example you would still have 75 percent of yr pension Inc 8 years. Good luck Agree with your advice. Who do you contact to get the value of the house?
eddy Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 I must echo this gratitude. My wife and I both read this thread and used the advice given here to make some changes. She changing her spouse ? Should provide her with long term happiness.... Patchelicious and Pure Savage 2
Paddaman Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 Yes it can get to that point, don’t let it get to that point cos then u deep in hock to the legal fraternity if you still fighting this in court. Court should be there to make the divorce final, nothing more imho unless you Paul McCartney or Rockefeller or some other wealthy fellow. It’s simple really....COP the joint estate is split 50 50 with certain exclusions that may exist. ANC without accrual - what’s yours is yours and hers is hers ANC with accrual - the increase in value in each estate since the ANC was drawn up is considered and the estate that GREW the most is liable to the Estate that grew the lesser to the amount of 50%. Get some values of the house and start calculating yr accrual. Courts will prefer a once off settlement now and this is the way you should do it. Remember yr pension might be worth 10 million now but that could conceivably double in the next 8 years so pay the 5 bar now....purely as an example ....in my example you would still have 75 percent of yr pension Inc 8 years. Good luckAs I have said so many times already. Get the bean counter (accountant) to work this out, and then get the lawyer to present it to the judge to approve. No emotions, no fights. Only worry if you wife proposes KPMG to do the audit...... BigDL, ChUkKy and Steven Knoetze (sk27) 3
Captain Fastbastard Mayhem Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 Agree with your advice. Who do you contact to get the value of the house?municipal valuation or estate agents valuation
eddy Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 Agree with your advice. Who do you contact to get the value of the house? Surfer Please see the advice I gave Landy earlier. The advice you will get from the Hub is well meaning, but you ARE fighting for your future and you are not in a position - emotionally, legally, financially, socially, to make a reasoned decision on anything. To emphasise, no matter how much you want it to be "amicable" it will become confrontational. Quite simply, how hard do you think she will be prepared to fight to secure her financial future ? For her, the choice is between financial security or ongoing struggle for the rest of her life. What do you think any rational person will choose? You DO need a lawyer. even if you think it is going to be amicable, it will not be. Trying to do it yourself is penny wise and pound foolish. What you stand to lose in a bad settlement is much more that a lawyer would cost you. See a lawyer. Some other bits of advice : Look after your own interests first. Unless you do you will not be able to look after your son's interests which I figure is what you would want to do. Don't give away any more than you have to. It won't buy you any goodwill from your ex and will do you no good. Don't agree to pay your ex ANY alimony or maintenance, not even R1.00. Pay as much as you can afford for your son though. You have an obligation to put a roof over his head, food in his mouth and education for his benefit, etc. Pay his share of their living expenses as long as he lives with her. If you do this sensibly, when he no longer does, payment to her should stop. See a lawyer. Use a condom. If you are single and solvent you will have more sex than you have grown use to after 21 years of marriage. You do not want to pick up a STI and definitely DO NOT want to become a father again at 47. I am not suggesting that someone will lie to you about being clean or on the Pill, but best you look after yourself.
IceCreamMan Posted January 5, 2018 Posted January 5, 2018 Just want to make a point clear as re reading my previous post may not have made it so. In ANC with accrual a wife (husband) is not automatically entitled to half of a pension. The estate which has the larger growth is obligated to the estate which has lesser growth an amount equal to 50 percent of that growth. Of course ones pension gets included in that growth, but the amount liable could be more than the pension fund is worth.... the other extreme could be the following. Assume husband has an estate at inception of the ANC of 10 million Rand and wife has an estate of 1 million. At divorce time his estate is worth 11 million and hers 3 million. In this scenario the wife would be liable to make a pay,ent to the husbands estate ceteris paribus. Good luck to both you, the length of time u guys been married is a lifetime and this is a hard knock. Drink beer, get laid, be a lad but be discreet. New Landy new life, BigDL and Captain Fastbastard Mayhem 3
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